I’ve just read an interesting criticism of myself on TRemeritus.
This was a response to my article “Don’t Forget the Hippos,” and the writer of
this complaint decided that it was worth taking a shot at my analysis on global
politics. After having a go at me for my article, she then made the point that
Singaporean women were marrying up by marrying Ang Moh’s (Local Hokkien Slang
for Caucasian), while Singaporean men were marrying down by marrying women from
China and Vietnam. I’m not sure how that was related to anything that I had
written about but I “educated” to the fact that Singaporean men are rejected
shits and as a parting shot, I was told that Singaporean women would not want
me.
I found this funny that I person of colour (Judging by the
name Tracey Ching) would express so much comfort in indulging in racial stereotypes
at a time when normal (KKK Members and Neo-Nazis don’t count as normal or
people) White People in America and much of the Western World are taking to the
streets to condemn racism. I’ve found it quite ironic that the “White Race,”
which has been condemned for creating the “racist” structure of the colonial
world are in many ways, the enlightened ones trying to undo racism while the
people of colour are the ones trying to enforce it.
As a matter of full disclosure, my own mother was married to
two men of European decent, after she left my father. I consider myself
exceedingly blessed for having my stepfathers and I was lucky when my dad married
an American girl of Irish decent who came along with a lovely family. So, I
grew up in a situation where at any given time, I had at least one parent who
was of European decent. There was never a situation where my “non-white” parent
was made to feel “privileged” for having the “white” spouse.
So, I guess this background set up to find it curious as to
why one’s skin tone or birth place would come with any connotation of superiority
or inferiority. My stepfathers were successful professionals, who earned good
salaries as were the parents of my school mates. However, on the other hand, I
noticed that when I lived in London, the tramps on the street were inevitably
white. Contrary to what many Asians and
Africans might think, the White race encompasses people who cover the entire social
spectrum.
I guess you could say that to an Asian girl, a “white” spouse
would more often than not mean a working professional and if you’re from what
the US President calls a “Shithole” country, living in a place where you can
get away with slagging off the leader would be an improvement of sorts.
However, I’ve never understood the mentality that many
people of colour have that the White race is somehow superior and somehow its
an obligation to keep them that way. This is particularly true when you have
girls of colour marrying a white man and getting it into their heads that it’s
something they can hold over everyone else. I used to get very offended when a
Pinoy girl who had married one of the partners in the Bistrot used to take a “superior”
tone with the Filipino staff. The husband happened to be a sweet man and
insisted on being treated like the rest of the customers whenever he came to dine.
It’s almost as if the people of colour find certain comfort
in that old stereotype of a colonial overlord. I go back to my work experience
at the Bistrot. I refused to take a role as a full-time manager because the
salary on offer was considerably less than my European predecessors. I remember
the staff telling me, “You can’t compare – he’s an Ang Moh,” as if it was a
natural state of affairs for someone to be paid more merely for the colour of
their skin. At the same time, I had European customers telling me that if the
previous manager could get so much, I should have the same if not more. In
fact, the European manager told me the same thing.
Just as I’ve never been able to see “white” as a sign of
superiority, I’ve never understood why colour should be seen as a sign of
inferiority, particularly in a marriage partner.
As a matter of disclosure, I am married to a Vietnamese girl.
My wife is not the best educated girl that I’ve been out with and I won’t
pretend that it wasn’t an issue with my family. I am also aware that plenty of
Singaporean and Western men have been screwed for serious money by girls from
the third world.
Having said that, I’m not sure how that is “marrying down.” Whatever
the Chinese and Vietnamese girls may lack in English language skills and formal
education, they more than make up for it in street smarts and determination to
make a better life for themselves and their families. While the lack of
education may prevent them from working in “formal” professions, they’re perfectly
capable to helping a man propel himself to higher paths with their character
judgement.
Still remember my other half meeting a colleague of mine. My
colleague went onto to tell me “Vietnamese girls just want money, and I’ve done
my research.” My wife’s conclusion was “that girl thinks you’re making it big
and is hopping to cash in.” Somehow the colleague couldn’t help but resort to a
stereotype of what she claimed to research while my wife could read the person
from one conversation.
People from the “developed world,” often underestimate
people from “shitholes.” We assume a sense of superiority based on material advantages
and formal education. What we forget is that the people from the “shithole”
countries have street smarts and a hunger to make life better. You can look at
an association with them as being “down” but never forget that they’re looking
for a way to leap past you and that is something that should be celebrated
rather than looked down on.
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