“I’ll Never Sell My Home” – Pn Balji, former Editor-in-Chief of the Today Newspaper.

 On 9 October 2024, Dr Lee Wei Ling, daughter of Singapore’s first Prime Minister, Lee Kuan Yew and sister of our third, Lee Hsien Loong, died. The tributes to Dr. Lee have been pouring in and many are remembering her as what my former boss, Mr. PN Balji called her in an article for Yahoo News – “A dissident in the making.”

https://sg.news.yahoo.com/comment-lee-wei-ling-a-dissident-in-the-065731420.html

 

 Dr Lee was happy to call out government departments and their bosses. Her conflicts with then A *Star Chairman, Mr. Philip Yeo and the head of Government Communications, Mr. Janadas Devan made headlines.

However, the most prominent person that she took on, was none other than her brother, the then Prime Minister, Mr. Lee Hsien Loong. Dr Lee and her younger brother, Mr. Lee Hsien Yang accused their brother, the Prime Minister at the time of “abusing power” and Dr Lee went as far as to call the Prime Minister a “Dishonourable Son.”

I’ll leave the larger political commentary to the wiser people. All, I’ll do is to mention that this family dispute was centred around 38 Oxley Road, which was Mr. Lee Kuan Yew’s house. Both Dr Lee and Mr. Lee Hsien Yang had argued that the elder Mr. Lee wanted his house demolished after his passing, which was contrary to the government’s plans of turning the house into a monument. This dispute, has been best summed up by the following t-shirt slogan:

 

 I think of this t-shirt because the concept of house and home have become confused. Too many people think the two are the one and the same and the result is that people end up very unhappy.

This is especially true in small, dense and rich places like Singapore and Hong Kong, where every square centimetre of space cost a small fortune. The way to “build wealth,” particularly in small places, is inevitably to buy a few centimetres of land and sit on it until prices reach a certain level.

Houses, are inevitably the centre of a family’s wealth. Now, the term “house” is replaced by the term “property,” and the standard advise that is dolled out to any young person starting out is for them to get onto the “property” ladder, where they will buy a house, stay there for a few years, sell it and buy a bigger one, and continuing this cycle, until they can sell it for a fortune and “retire.” Owning a “property” is not just about economics. It’s about romance too. When a Singaporean man wants to propose, he does not say “Will You Marry Me?” He says “Let’s get a flat together.” *

I can’t help it. I work for a liquidator and I’ve grown accustomed to seeing the problems in every rosy scenario. In this case its pretty easy to spot. Everyone is focused on having a “house” or a “property,” and the dollar signs that come with property. Family wealth centres around the house. It’s more often than not, the main investment.

However, the sad reality is that blood is not thicker than water when large sums are involved and a good portion of disputes centre around money, particularly the stuff that’s stored in the collection of bricks we call a “house.” When a couple splits, the disputes centre around the house. More worryingly in our “aging” society, it’s becoming increasingly common to hear stories of how elderly parents are booted out of the houses they so hard for by the kids they raised.

In Singapore its perfectly normal to walk into someone’s house and ask “How much did you pay,” or “How much can you get for selling?” After all, what is a house except a collection of bricks that you spend a few hours in daily?

I think of my ex-boss, Pn Balji, who said “I will NEVER sell my home,” when someone pointed out that his home would worth considerably more than what he paid for it many moons ago. I remember this conversation because it makes a clear distinction between a house and a home.

So, what is a home? I guess you could call it a place where you want to be. It’s a place where you grow memories and build a life of sorts. If you think about it, you can stay in just about any house as long as you either own it or the owners invite you in. After all, a house is a collection of bricks designed as a place to stay.

A home is different. It’s a place that is part of your being. You develop certain memories and relationships with the place. Home is the place where you want to come to every night. It’s the place that gives you a certain sense of safety. It’s a place where you get to play a part in creating a sense of belonging.

Yes, a house is a collection of bricks designed for you to stay in. A home is a place where you want to go home to. That’s the key difference.