Friday, December 14, 2018

When Disagreeing Leads to Unity


I tried to organize a social gathering for the contributories of my blog last night, when I was challenged by one of them as to my purpose and intended “end goals” in trying to organize a social get together. One of my other contributors asked me why I would befriend someone like him and more importantly why would I do so when the person in question and I are at different ends of the political spectrum (he’s pro-gun and pro-Trump – readers of my blog know that I’m not.”

This incident, interestingly enough, came after I was watching the eulogy to former US President George HW Bush, which was delivered by his son, former President George W Bush, the night before. What struck me was the fact that George W (once again, my readers will know that I was never a fan of George W), was that he described how his father developed a very warm friendship with Bill Clinton, the man who ousted him from the Presidency.

An account of their friendship can be found at:

I’m old enough to remember the 1992 Election Campaign. It was brutal. Bush the Elder did not hesitate to fight dirty and was quick to attack the then Governor of Arkansas for his philandering, draft-dodging ways. The then Governor of Arkansas was equally quick to show that he was capable of digging up dirt, when he brought up Bush the Elder’s past dealings with Saddam Hussain. The campaign was clear – it was the Patrician, East Coast Brahmin, who had a decent enough marriage and family and a record of a genuine war hero versus the pot smoking Hill Billy who couldn’t keep his prick in his pocket. This was a contest between class and generation and yes, the victory of Bush the Younger over Clinton’s Vice-President, Al Gore, seemed like – revenge for Bush the Elder.
Then, somehow, during the Presidency of Bush the Younger, Bill Clinton and George HW Bush developed a genuine friendship and as is often said, the man who grew up without a father (Clinton being his stepfather’s name) found one.

I’m reminded of this because it underlines one of the most pressing things about the world we live in today – tribalism – where, in the words of Bush the Younger, “You are either with us or against us.” Ironically, the biggest examples of tribalism is in America, the nation that gave us the first modern day democratic constitution that starts with, “We, the PEOPLE.” Even before the advent of Donald Trump, America a nation divided into many small tribes. I remember inadvertently a gay man being shocked that I would walk into a gay bar – “You’re straight, and you walk into a bar like this?” I had to explain to him that all I wanted was a beer and this happened to be the nearest bar. The fact that I was more interested in what the bar served than in the sexuality of the patrons was an alien concept to him.

To be fair to the USA, there were parts of Britain that had an incurable amount of tribalism. This was mostly seen in the form of football matches, where ones tribe was defined by ones football affiliations. Biggest example was in Liverpool where those who supported Liverpool were inevitably Catholic and those who supported Everton were inevitably Protestant. Unfortunately, I’m old enough to remember when tribalism in the United Kingdom wasn’t limited to football. I am, of course, talking about Northern Ireland, which was in the midst of a civil war of sorts between the Catholics of Sinn Fein (political arm of the IRA) and the Orange Men of Ulster (who had their own group of terrorists called the UDF). Divisions in Belfast was so bad that the standard joke in Northern Ireland went like this – “Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was stupid.” (A Protestant would never cross the road into a Catholic area and visa-versa.)

The highlight of my university years in London, was of course, the Good Friday accords, where all the parties in Northern Ireland understood that they weren’t getting anywhere and it was time to lay down their arms. While the peace was not perfect (Bill Clinton got into trouble for describing the various parties as two drunk men), they seem to have reached that spot where everyone understands that their tribe gains more from working and living together with the other tribe than killing the other tribe.

I return to America and to the funeral of George HW Bush, a man who was very close to his own tribe but managed to become close to a man from a completely different one. While, I was never a great fan of George HW Bush, he understood the system that made America great. America wasn’t a great homogeneous block but a noisy collection of tribes that found that they had more to gain through co-existence than they did through killing each other. America is great because it rewards excellence no matter who you are. How is it such that in a country that is predominantly white revere its sporting heroes who are black (Mohammad Ali, Michael Jordan just to name a few).

In Asia, there is the example of India, which, although remains a nasty tribal place in so many ways, is also a very successful one. I did work for Polaris which was set up by a Jain from Delhi but based out of Chennai and filled with Tamilians. At one stage, India was a country where 80 percent of the electorate was Hindu but it had a Muslim President and a Sikh Prime Minister.

I’m not free of bring tribal myself. I’ve outlined all the “tribal” things that I do in my entry “Sticking with your Own Kind.”

May be its’ because I’ve inevitably been blessed by people who were not my own kind, that I came to realise that being part of the same tribe as someone (my favourite Pudding once complained that I need to experience my own kind more) doesn’t make them my friend. It made me realise that really great societies are the ones where people can disagree passionately but come together and focus on the things that matter. As messy as America may be, it’s a great place because out that mess, people come together to make great things.

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Maira Gall