Recognizing Your Own Kind

 

I’ve never been much of a salesperson. My main issue is the fact that I grew up in a family that took pride in being “professional middle-class” and the “sales” was regarded as something that was a little less than classy. I was told that I was the “academic” one in the family that was my destiny to do things that required great thought rather than “sales.” My Dad’s biggest panic moments in my professional development was the time I told I was going to sell ads for the Old Rogue. In his words, “Space salesmen were the type of people ran away from.”

My aversion to selling meant that while I was good at telling stories, I never quite had that instinct to “close” deals. It even went into my personal life, where I often quip that I was always a nice guy whom lots of women wanted as a friend or future husband but few were drying to jump into bed with me. Couldn’t close the deal so to speak.

The aversion to “selling,” kind of ended when I started working. I was the guy who couldn’t hold a steady job in an PR agency, which was where everyone said my talents were. So, since I couldn’t hold a job, I had to look for my own jobs and somehow, with no brand name to speak of and no “agency” experience, I had to convince people to hire me. It wasn’t just a case of doing the job (which is what most employees do), I actually had to get the job and ensure that I got paid.

So, I had to avoid the aversion to sales and actually sell myself well enough. I’m still not a great salesman but the experience of having to hustle for around a decade of my working life made me appreciate certain things that I probably would not have had, had I had the conventional more academic career that everything thought I would have.

I appreciate hustlers. I will even go so far as to say that my sympathies are with people on the streets rather than with people in offices. I think of it as the difference between being a wife and a prostitute. The wife has one man who is in theory obliged to look after her. It’s a more “respectable” and more “secure” path. Some of the most well to do that I know have been good and “loyal” wives to their employers.

Being a prostitute is a different story. It’s in a way, the rougher life because you understand that you our only looked after if the client is pleased and you are only valued as long as you are useful. As such, your mindset changes because the guy is feeding you today may stop feeding you on a whim during the next. You have to learn to be self-reliant and always have something on the side because you could be thrown out on the street the next day. In this situation you have to consistently manage relationships well because today’s enemy could be the person feeding you tomorrow.

Constant selling is essential if you want to live the life of a prostitute. You need to be sharper than the wives about who you trust and who you don’t. Its easy to get f***** without getting paid, so you got to know what you are doing when you live off the streets. These days, when I go into meetings, I do things like observe non-verbal ques and I try to identify decision makers because I came from the “prostitute” path where doing such things was an essential part of life.

Now, one of the most essential parts of being a prostitute if that you got to have the ability to recognize your own kind. The reason for this is simple, if you’re both selling the same products, you’re not going to be able to sell to each other and you may end up becoming very bitter competitors for the same target.

This was a lesson that I was trying to get though to my newest trainee. Told him to take advantage of his good looks and youth. He then proceeded to tell me that I was also good looking in a different way (him being pretty and me being rugged) too. Had to tell him that what worked for his previous boss (a good wife to all her employers) wasn’t going to work with me. I’ve had to hustle and I recognize the signs of someone trying to hustle me.

However, I know where he’s coming from and I’ve told him that we can work around things. I see where he’s coming from and I probably would have tried the same in his position.

I think of the time the Old Rogue met Pam (an older black woman I was seeing). They “fell in love.” She waxed lyrical about how he was sweet old timer. He declared that she shouldn’t teach art – she was a “work of art.” Yet, they never worked together. Proposed that Pam work for him selling ads for his magazine. His instant reaction was “I don’t think Indian and Chinese school owners would take too kindly to a black woman visiting them.”

How did two people who professed love for each other not work together? The answer was simple. They recognized they were the same kind and knew that they’d react in certain situations and so they avoided any possibility of getting into awful situations.

If there’s anything that I hope this young man gains from working with us, it is the ability to recognize people who share his outlook and approach to life. It will, I believe save him a lot of grief in later life.