Saturday, July 01, 2023

I Still Can ……..Is Age Just A Number?

 

The Big News in the world of celebrity gossip is the fact that the American Actor, Al Pacino is set to become a father at 82. Age has definitely not slowed Mr. Pacino and the news of Mr. Pacino’s virility can be found at:

https://people.com/al-pacino-girlfriend-noor-alfallah-is-pregnant-7505948

 


 While there were a few people tut-tutting Mr. Pacino for becoming a father at an age where most start treating every day a bonus, most of the men in the world were probably thankful that Mr. Pacino was virile at 82. Call a sign of hope that you still can at that age. Men have it lucky in that few people bat an eyelid when a much older man is seen with a much younger woman. If anything, the man gets patted on the back for getting a sweet young thing and the woman will be congratulated for getting an established man.

Its slightly different the other way round. A woman who ends up with younger guy is regarded as predatory. Look at it this way, whatever one says of Donald Trump, most of us secretly respect him for getting Melania by his side. The same cannot be said for Emanuel Macron who married his French teacher and inherited kids who were the same age as him.

Still, the fact remains, virility and being established attract each other. In the old days, it was understood that the man would be the established one and any respectable established man would have the most fertile looking woman around. However, as we enter an age where women with established careers are being normalized, we also need to accept that these women would be attracted to younger virile men.

So, I guess you could say that age is just a number and if both parties care about each other, then who is to complain? Love and sexual attraction work in mysterious ways. I take my own experiences as an example.

At the age of 19, I ended up in a relationship with a woman who was 12-years older and black. This was what you’d call the ultimate thrill for a guy who had just left a nearly all boy school in a world where Asian men don’t get attention for being “sexually powerful” unlike their Caucasian and Black counterparts. We did meet again much later on when I was 30 and she was 42. The attraction was still there but she wasn’t the goddess of my youth and I suspect that part of it was the fact that I was older and the things that mattered at 19, were less important at 30. If anything, I’d curious to know how we’d get on, now that I am 48 and she’s 60.

One of the key points of this relationship was that it made my dad uncomfortable and the truth is, I was so infatuated with being in a relationship with a woman who gave me “street-cred,” that I could never appreciate his discomfort over my relationship.

Then Kiddo happened to me. Ended up with a Vietnamese girl who came along with a 7-year-old. I had a bad first marriage and I vowed that I would never see marriage or kids, ever. Then, this 7-year-old came along and gave me the two happiest months of my life, where I understood what it was like to live for something other than myself. Immigration saw to it that the relationship would not last. Ended up in two relationships with single mothers. Ended up liking the kids far more than the mothers, though admittedly the mothers somehow managed to reenter my life minus their kids.

When Huong asked me to marry her, the main focus was, now I had the chance to bring Kiddo to Singapore, where she could grow her life in a safe environment. So, life only really began when a now 12-year-old showed up and seemed to confirm that I had done something right.

In the experience of having kiddo return to my life, my view on sexual attraction changed I noticed it in two incidences. One was when a 54-year-old former boyfriend of one of my nieces kept asking Kiddo for her phone number. She was 14 at the time and I was visibly upset. She tried to pacify me by saying the he had known her when he visited Vietnam and I had to say, “That’s not the point, he’s 54 and you’re 14.”

The second incident involved meeting one of her school friends who was busty and slender. I actually had to remind myself that this was my daughter’s friend and therefore wrong.

I am as red blooded as the next heterosexual man. I remain a sucker for the usual parts of the female body. At 48 I appreciate the female body as much as I did at 18. The change is that a woman 25-years younger than me is old enough to be my kid and the instinct is to stop the predator and not to be the predator.

It was Kiddo who reentered my life so, I think as a dad to a girl. Would I think differently if the kid in my life was either Zach or Yooga. A part of me might actually feel proud of them if they got seduced by someone like a school teacher (assuming the school teacher is a lady). I mean, as someone said, “sticking it in always sounds better than having something stuck into you.” Yet, one has to ask – why would I be cool with that but not if it had been an older man with a young girl. I like to think that if it happened to the boys in my life, I’d go after the predator too.

Age is a number. Experience and Virility are like two opposite poles on a magnate and if you’re talking about two consenting adults, what’s the issue. However, when you become a parent, you see things differently. Its images of your kid that make you worry that there’s power imbalance in the relationship and you worry that it could be your kid that’s getting screwed over. Age is a number is a logical thought – being a parent is inevitably instinctive.

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Maira Gall