I’ve just blocked a former girlfriend from texting me. We had gotten along well enough and then Singapore’s Covid-19 circuit breaker measures came in. I could not keep in touch and then for reasons best known to her, she thought it was appropriate to send my daughter inappropriate messages. The kid told her to stop and after running into her, I told her to stop harassing the kid. Despite that, she persisted in sending me messages about how she would invite my daughter to her office for drinks and would come to the house to meet the kid. At that point, both the kid and I thought enough was enough and so she was blocked.
I’m made to think of this incident because of the recent arrest of Ghislaine Maxwell on the charge of providing underage sex-slaves to the disgraced financier, Jeffrey Epstein. As well as being excessively rich and having a preference for young girls, Mr. Epstein and Ms. Maxwell (I’m old enough to remember the yacht that was named after her) counted the rich and influential, including the current Occupant of the White House and the Duke of York, as part of their social circle.
https://www.forbes.com/sites/lisettevoytko/2020/07/21/heres-every-time-donald-trump-and-ghislaine-maxwell-have-been-photographed-together/#66f4691a183d
The case of Mr. Epstein and his associates raises one of the oldest and most common issues faced by people all over the world – namely the issues of sex, power and money and in the pursuit of sex, power and money, are there any issues of where we draw the line.
As I’ve confessed in previous postings, I’m a self-professed cad. I hate the idea of being exclusive to anyone (a case of why stick to one when there are so many) and I can’t help to look at the nubile things that walk past me when I’m in the office area (Singapore’s financial district). Looking at a woman’s body and being able to enjoy a woman’s body is like getting to look at a piece of art and enjoying a tasty meal at the same time
My only defense to saying everything that I’ve just said is that I’m probably no different from most heterosexual men. The need to get laid is one of the few recognized human needs that transcends race, religion and so on (as a Jewish architect said – “My dick isn’t racist”).
However, human nature is such that the simple male need to release sperm is complicated. While the male brain is wired to release sperm, the female brain is wired to ensure that any offspring she produces are well taken care of. Hence, while men look for nubile young things, women tend to look for signs of strength and stability or as my mother would argue – you want the guy who will be hanging around once the kid comes out. Hence, the history of the human sexual experience has been about women trading their bodies in return for men providing for the well being of them and their families. In prehistoric times, this meant the guys who got laid were inevitably those who could bring home the biggest share of the kill. These days, it inevitably means the guys who earn big bucks.
It is socially acceptable and many cases a status symbol for an older man to have a much younger companion. Say what you like about Donald Trump but having Melania by his side has not harmed his social standing. By comparison, Emanuel Marcon gets a few funny looks for the fact that he married a much older woman and has stepchildren who are his age. My Uncle Richard, who was a cad of the highest order, used to tell me, “No such thing as a good-looking woman over 25 and make sure your next wife is half your age.”
It’s even more acceptable in Asia, where levels of poverty are high. Asia’s red-light districts are filled with young girls hopping to escape poverty and a girl who marries a much older (and often Western) man is considered a hero for finding a route out of poverty for her family.
I get the attraction trade off here. Which man doesn’t want to wake up next to a hot bod? Which woman wants to reject the guy who can provide a good home for her? As an old friend used to say of Prince Charles, “What man kicks out a beautiful blonde for an old hag?”
Yes, I get the attraction and the trade-off. Yet, despite that I also believe that there have to be limits. There needs to be mutual respect and both parties need to be able to able to understand what they’re getting into. Hence, I get repulsed when I hear of a “trade in children.”
I take myself as an example. As I get older, I notice physical attraction more and the issue of “age-appropriate” seems to matter less. My main defense is usually, I’m not the first 40 plus something to look at young nubile things with a certain amount of lust.
Yet, I remind myself that I am first and foremost a father of a young woman and my initial thoughts always go back to the question of who do I want her to find in life. If she’s meant to find love and happiness with an older man, then I won’t stop it but do I want her to be the plaything of an old man? The answer is clearly no and that always brings me back to normalcy. I become conscious that my behavior might affect her perceptions on what a man should be. Hence, while I might find a younger girl attractive at a glance, I remember that I’m dad before anything else.
Mr. Epstein, the Occupant and the Duke crossed a line in their pursuit of young, underage girls. There’s something not quite right about people with power, money and influence using children for their own needs. I understand the need to get laid, I’ve been guilty of succumbing to that need on too many occasions. However, a line has to be drawn and people who have said no and are unable to give consent should be protected with the full extent of the law.
I’m made to think of this incident because of the recent arrest of Ghislaine Maxwell on the charge of providing underage sex-slaves to the disgraced financier, Jeffrey Epstein. As well as being excessively rich and having a preference for young girls, Mr. Epstein and Ms. Maxwell (I’m old enough to remember the yacht that was named after her) counted the rich and influential, including the current Occupant of the White House and the Duke of York, as part of their social circle.
https://www.forbes.com/sites/lisettevoytko/2020/07/21/heres-every-time-donald-trump-and-ghislaine-maxwell-have-been-photographed-together/#66f4691a183d
The case of Mr. Epstein and his associates raises one of the oldest and most common issues faced by people all over the world – namely the issues of sex, power and money and in the pursuit of sex, power and money, are there any issues of where we draw the line.
As I’ve confessed in previous postings, I’m a self-professed cad. I hate the idea of being exclusive to anyone (a case of why stick to one when there are so many) and I can’t help to look at the nubile things that walk past me when I’m in the office area (Singapore’s financial district). Looking at a woman’s body and being able to enjoy a woman’s body is like getting to look at a piece of art and enjoying a tasty meal at the same time
My only defense to saying everything that I’ve just said is that I’m probably no different from most heterosexual men. The need to get laid is one of the few recognized human needs that transcends race, religion and so on (as a Jewish architect said – “My dick isn’t racist”).
However, human nature is such that the simple male need to release sperm is complicated. While the male brain is wired to release sperm, the female brain is wired to ensure that any offspring she produces are well taken care of. Hence, while men look for nubile young things, women tend to look for signs of strength and stability or as my mother would argue – you want the guy who will be hanging around once the kid comes out. Hence, the history of the human sexual experience has been about women trading their bodies in return for men providing for the well being of them and their families. In prehistoric times, this meant the guys who got laid were inevitably those who could bring home the biggest share of the kill. These days, it inevitably means the guys who earn big bucks.
It is socially acceptable and many cases a status symbol for an older man to have a much younger companion. Say what you like about Donald Trump but having Melania by his side has not harmed his social standing. By comparison, Emanuel Marcon gets a few funny looks for the fact that he married a much older woman and has stepchildren who are his age. My Uncle Richard, who was a cad of the highest order, used to tell me, “No such thing as a good-looking woman over 25 and make sure your next wife is half your age.”
It’s even more acceptable in Asia, where levels of poverty are high. Asia’s red-light districts are filled with young girls hopping to escape poverty and a girl who marries a much older (and often Western) man is considered a hero for finding a route out of poverty for her family.
I get the attraction trade off here. Which man doesn’t want to wake up next to a hot bod? Which woman wants to reject the guy who can provide a good home for her? As an old friend used to say of Prince Charles, “What man kicks out a beautiful blonde for an old hag?”
Yes, I get the attraction and the trade-off. Yet, despite that I also believe that there have to be limits. There needs to be mutual respect and both parties need to be able to able to understand what they’re getting into. Hence, I get repulsed when I hear of a “trade in children.”
I take myself as an example. As I get older, I notice physical attraction more and the issue of “age-appropriate” seems to matter less. My main defense is usually, I’m not the first 40 plus something to look at young nubile things with a certain amount of lust.
Yet, I remind myself that I am first and foremost a father of a young woman and my initial thoughts always go back to the question of who do I want her to find in life. If she’s meant to find love and happiness with an older man, then I won’t stop it but do I want her to be the plaything of an old man? The answer is clearly no and that always brings me back to normalcy. I become conscious that my behavior might affect her perceptions on what a man should be. Hence, while I might find a younger girl attractive at a glance, I remember that I’m dad before anything else.
Mr. Epstein, the Occupant and the Duke crossed a line in their pursuit of young, underage girls. There’s something not quite right about people with power, money and influence using children for their own needs. I understand the need to get laid, I’ve been guilty of succumbing to that need on too many occasions. However, a line has to be drawn and people who have said no and are unable to give consent should be protected with the full extent of the law.
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