Meet the Phoenix of Simon Fraser

By Lisa Von Tang

Creative Director of Lisa Von Tang

First Published By High Networth at http://www.hnworth.com/article/2018/11/16/stories-of-resilience-lisa-von-tang/?fbclid=IwAR3WFKIvKiovskW-ulYiofsu2_kuztCYAJ5RVEARLo2OZVaUsU9pbazErM8

Writing on resilience is an exercise of reviewing my entire life. By its nature, resilience is about enduring over a long period of time. Year after year, recovery after recovery, it becomes (or is revealed) as a core part of your character—and you no longer need to be resilient; you simply are.

Resilience also has a bouncy, shiny quality to it. Like springing back from a guttural punch with a glowing complexion and yelping a joyful ‘whoopee!’ whereas “Perseverance” has a heavier, adult, tone. I imagine a marathon runner in his last stretch, eyes steely with determination, mind over matter, resolving to keep going no matter what. Or a chronically disappointed wife—“I shall persevere!”

Strength has no context built-in, which makes it less interesting. It’s a rather flat adjective.

I like the term Resilience because it indicates a blossoming following a struggle. Anyone can build a wall after a tragedy (in fact, it’s the most instinctive thing to do). Most people, however, find it hard to melt, learn, and shine on. Resilience not only means getting up after a fall, but rising from the ashes, and transforming into the mythical Phoenix, with more purity, power, and beauty than before. Resilience is not just sheer willpower, it is transformation. Its spiritual alchemy. Its magic.

Image Credit: Warwick Saint

My first introduction to my own resilience was as a child. I grew up in an incredibly abusive household. My dad once burnt my hand with a boiling fork because I didn’t remember a bible scripture properly. And that’s just a PG-rated example of the abuse we endured on a daily basis.

I managed to remain as an openhearted and kind little person until the abuse peaked: My parents then separated, and a bleak period followed. At this point, my youthful resilience was swapped for adult fortitude. I didn’t have enough heart left to do more than just protect myself and survive.

I was twelve, and I had no relationship with either of my parents. I’d been stalked by a paedophile, who would follow me home (as I biked alone) from ballet class. He broke into my house one night (I was safe in my room, but he was never caught by the police). I hung out with some unsavoury types and put myself in some compromising situations. I was considered a “rebellious teen” which is a term that has always cracked me up. As if teens become rebellious randomly, with no cause at all. “Yea, an alien ship came down at recess, and I went onboard and said Hi, and now I hate my parents.” Right.

I grew up, otherwise quite fortunate, in Canada with a mom who was a gifted Chinese immigrant and dedicated to providing for us and making us into successful humans—particularly from an academic point of view. I’ve always been grateful for that Chinese immigrant focus on material success—I feel it saved me in some respect, because it kept doors open. Also, Chinese home cooking deserves a shout-out here! My favourite memories during my formative years are food-related.

At 15, I would ace my exams in high school, then go raving all night. Floating above my misery like a black balloon. Once I started college, I got the opportunity to travel the world and model. I would either take courses by distance if the professor would allow it, or I’d come home to be on campus in between modelling contracts. I did this for a few years, then quit modelling once I graduated and got my first dream job with one of the world’s largest advertising companies.

I met my ex-husband when I was modelling. He was from New York but living in Singapore. It was an arrow through the heart for us both—tragic, young, foolish, Romeo and Juliet sort of love. I let him melt my last glaciers away. I tattooed the date we met on my wrist. We wrote each other epic prose that would make you want to vomit. We had sex in the most inappropriate places, which still makes my eyes widen with disbelief. He proposed within three months of me moving in.

My first big love looked hot in a suit and would walk to work listening to a mix of Snoop Dogg and Dvořák. He was intellectually brilliant, amusingly strange, and preferred Tolstoy and a glass of cognac to human company. He was also an alcoholic. It was fun in the beginning until it wasn’t.

People never understood why I left him—particularly the women he dated after me. But it crushed my soul how he’d drink to the point of injury, blackout, broken glass, screaming, or hospitalisation—on the regular. Our finest moments involved me throwing a vase just degrees from his head, and him punching the wall next to my head (and breaking his fist). We never actually hurt each other physically, but we did a big number on each other’s hearts. Eventually, you learn not to touch a hot stove.

So I moved out, and got my own place. It was an HDB flat in Lavender. It was not glamorous. But I was free. I was about half a year into my first start-up business, a multi-label retailer for independent designers. I had spent a year at Ogilvy & Mather as a brand strategist, but then realised that the bureaucratic nature of corporates (even awesome ones like O&M,) wasn’t for me. I was prepared to work harder, feel the results, and trial and error my way to success.

Work was killing me, because I was using it to hide from my disappointment over my divorce. I worked myself into the ER many times, that I wondered if hospitals had punch cards for VIPs. I was pulling 16 hour days. I hadn’t learned how to “be supported by others” in my life yet, and was awful at finding the right people for my team. While I hired some great individuals at my first company, no one I hired was the right fit. When you don’t have the right people to achieve your goal, it’s not a neutral situation either—it goes backwards fast, and unfortunately, you’re still paying for it.

Being a 24-year-old, ex-model, boss lady, was not easy either. As a workaholic, I didn’t see many friends outside of the people I worked with. I needed their human company. But as soon as you become friends with an employee, it really messes with the authority structure that’s needed to run a business. It’s easier for men I believe, but women aren’t just handed respect as a given. You need to fight for it, tooth and nail, and prove yourself to be competent, before you can avoid judgement.

I would leave work, exhausted. Try to sleep without a sleeping pill. Have anxiety and give up. Then start all over again. I dated. I travelled. I got into a new relationship. And then finally, at the age of 29, I had an epiphany that would change how I approached life. I realised that I was living in a fortress to protect myself from the bashing I had gotten from the world, but I couldn’t bloom in there. I couldn’t even properly receive love and support from in there. It was grey. I had to trade Fortitude for Resilience.

This epiphany started through a dear friend of mine from San Francisco messaging me, “Lisa, why don’t you focus on Self-Love?” I had been confiding in her with regard to all the pressure and anxiety I was experiencing. “Self-Love? What’s that?” Now it’s a buzzword, but at the time, it was a foreign term to me. I googled it, and realised that it was about leading a life of self-respect that you enjoy. This may sound like common sense to those of you who grew up in healthy environments, but it was a revolution for me. I had grown up supporting people around me, and had carried that habit into my work life. I had also carried that habit into my love life. I was always the Big Spoon. She also introduced me to a spiritual guide, who helped me connect back to the earth, and cultivate joyful living.

Suddenly, I could see with clarity that I never had before, that I had internalised a lack of love from my childhood, and it was dooming me to outcomes that perpetuated a state of misery. I was pretending I was okay with just surviving on crumbs from others (in work, and in love life) when I desperately needed a bigger piece of the pie. This inherent lack of Self-Love had stormed its way through my first company, blocking me from finding the right support, and I couldn’t do the same jam anymore.

I let it all burn to ashes. My first company. All relationships that sucked energy and were not supportive. I took responsibility for all outcomes in my adult life being my fault. And decided to commit myself to a life of joy, even if that meant a complete reconfiguration. I was finally learning what it meant to be resilient. I felt happier than I had in years. I felt shinier. I felt younger. I felt beautiful.

I also left a relationship that I knew wasn’t good for me. I had been campaigning for marriage and kids, and when it finally came time to build the nursery, I realised I was selling myself short. I realised that I’d be happier on my own than with someone who wasn’t able to prioritise me in his life and legacy plans. Self-Love. I’m telling you, ladies. It’s like the sky clearing after the storm. Nothing is foggy anymore.

I have to mention at this juncture of the story, that many of the people who were not right for my company (or bedroom) were still very good people. They just weren’t right for this particular journey. I take responsibility for the collateral damage that grew out of my nasty habit of martyring myself. You can’t explode in growth without an amazing team backing you. I know that now.

2018. 31 years old. The new company is doing well. I’m doing my dream job and have been for a few years now (a conversation for another article). My bonds with my loved ones continue to deepen. I’m happy as a default, and I realise that joy is my guiding light—as it should be yours. I don’t say this as a hippy by the way. Even from a strategic business point of view, I see ‘joy’ as being a clarifying elixir for how I choose people, how I decide on our plans going forward, how I design and create.

I roll like a Phoenix now. No matter what happens, I know I can reach within myself and find even more strength, even more clarity, and even more beauty. I don’t need fortress walls anymore, because I know that I have the ability to bend, rebuild, and always turn my heart back towards the Sun.

A Note from a Busy Oasis

Didn’t plan on it but a few weeks back, the day-job boss got a client based out of Dubai and as things would have it, we were required to head to Dubai and so, I’m here taking advantage of the hotel’s lap top to try and get the writing juices flowing after several days of heavy data entry activities.

Dubai is a special place for me. My stepdad, Lee was sent to Dubai in the late 1990s to set up the agency of what was then known as Lintas. As a result of his posting, Dubai became the first place in the Arabian Gulf that I visited. On my first trip there, Lee went out of his way to ensure that my sister and I got the full “Arabian” experience, which included a camel safari (which was run by a couple from Bognar Regis and their Pakistani workers). On the second visit, he had hired a maid who happily took us to discover the sights and sounds on souks and malls, the two places that the GCC region in known for.

My life in Singapore took an unusual turn around 12-years ago when I got sent to Riyadh as part of the Saudi Embassy’s delegation to prepare for the visit to the late Crown Prince Sultan to Singapore, which was the underlying fact in the turn my life has taken.

For some strange reason, blessings and salvation have always come from those of Indian Origin or Muslims (my current day-job boss being both). This tie with the Indian Subcontinent and the Arabian world is such that the only languages that make me feel that there is an emotional tie are the languages that I don’t speak, namely Arabic and Hindi-Urdu (the languages that I actually can communicate in being English by a long way, German in a distant second and Cantonese and Mandarin if I am pushed to. These are languages that I can use but I don’t feel anything special about them in the same way that I don’t feel anything special about the fingers typing these words).

So, you could say that Dubai could be an emotionally good city for me, in as much as it’s filled with the two groups of people who have blessed me and there is something very comforting with starting every conversation with “As-Salaam-Alaikum ” (Incidentally, the familiarity with using Salaam was easily translated to Shalom Aleichiem when dealing with the Jews).

Dubai like Singapore is a curious match of East and West and Old and New. On one hand the city is built to impress. Dubai, like the rest of the GCC is obsessed with shopping malls. The mall, is the centre of life and Dubai is on a mission to build the biggest this or that. I had my second visit to the Dubai Mall (described by my Evil Teen as –“Boring Sia,”) and seen the Burj Khalifa (so named after the cousin in Abu Dhabi, who bailed them out of the financial crisis). Dubai is filled with outrageous opulence. You can even get “booze” here – I had managed to get my beer in a nearby lounge with Indian and Nepali dancing girls and there is even “naughtier” entertainment in the “spas” that fill four-star hotels. My fellow traveler said Dubai was looking like New York – I beg to differ, New York would love to have Dubai’s buildings and Rodeo Drive in Beverly Hills looks like a rats nest next to some of the swankier parts of town.

Yet, I seem to have aged in as much as these are not the things that I aspire to. There are only so many shopping malls that the system can manage, which was a point that my Saudi tour guide didn’t quite get – why do you travel so many thousands of miles to see more of the same.

What I liked about Dubai was found in the Gold Souk, where merchants from all over the world came to haggle over that most glamorous of commodities – Gold. I liked the fact that the Pakistanis and Arabs dressed traditionally and went about their business as they may have had several years ago. I enjoyed watching Nigerian tourist complain that the shops were using the “wrong” currency rate (why use 100 – use 99 – the difference of 1 Naiara being negligible in most other currencies).

If you ask me what Dubai has gotten right, it is the fact that the “trader” is celebrated. Traders are the people who make the world prosper. Traders make goods and services move and they create markets. A sensible government encourages that type of activity. Hustling is a noble activity that feeds people – it was one of the attractions of Hanoi – people were poor but they were not begging – they were trying to hustle you.

It’s something that I never quite understood about Singapore. We are a trading hub and I could never understand why “trader” was considered a “derogatory” word. Lee Kuan Yew famously wrote, “Our people were not entrepreneurs – they were traders.” Erm, it’s quite clear that Old Man Lee didn’t quite understand – entrepreneurs are traders.

Dubai is an odd ball in the Middle East. It’s a place that has created a reasonable economy and outrageous sums of money without using oil (not that it had much of it in the first place). When you think about it, that’s an achievement. Dubai has been smart in being open to trade and hustling. It’s something we should go back to in Singapore. We were a nation built by trade and we should be proud of being traders rather than bureaucrats. A trader can survive without a bureaucrat. The bureaucrat cannot survive without the trader. It’s something we need to look at.

The Grand Advantage of the Rich

One of the most interesting things about working in media is getting to see how easy it is to sway the public with the right headlines. I learnt this first hand when I was recruited by PN Balji to work on the Susan Lim case.

For readers outside Singapore, Dr. Susan Lim was one of our most prominent surgeons who had the misfortune of taking on a relative of the Sultan of Brunei as a patient. The relative in question was dying of cancer and had sought Dr. Lim out to help prolong her life. In return for giving exclusive and personalized service, Dr. Lim was reimbursed handsomely. However, the woman eventually died and the Brunei government which had paid the bill happily, decided it was time to ask for a discount, where upon the Singapore Government (which is exceedingly close to the Sultan) decided to raid Dr. Lim’s clinic and promptly accused her of “overcharging” the patient.

From my professional standpoint, it was a challenging case. Dr. Lim had already been “tried” in the court of public opinion and we knew that we were not going to win in the local press. However, we managed to get some of Dr. Lim’s story out and somehow, we managed to get some of her side of the story out.

However, while that was an interesting enough challenge, I noticed that the average reader developed an incredible dose of self-righteous anger against Dr. Lim. I remember the Young Muslim Politician who Guzzles Pork in a Ramadan day telling me, “She’s terrible, she cheated the Sultan of Brunei.”

I’ve said plenty about the case and I’m sure many people will discount my views now that its public knowledge that I was one of the PR people on the case. However, what still intrigues me is the dose of self-righteous anger the public held for Dr. Lim for having the audacity to bill one of the few people in the world who can afford such medical bills. I find it particularly intriguing that many Asians in particular felt that it was wrong because “Even Doctors in the USA or UK don’t ask for such a large amount of money.” I take the statement of my favourite Young Muslim Politician as an example – “She cheated the Sultan of Brunei,” as a starting point.

If you look at the facts of the case, it’s hard to argue that Dr. Lim “cheated” anyone. The scope of the services expected were such that she was required to sacrifice business from elsewhere in order to tend to this single patient. I’ve always felt that Dr. Lim should never have apologized for her bills – it was a case of “My practice has a turn-over of x dollars and if you want y services at the expenses of all others, you need to pay accordingly.”

However, is particularly intriguing here is the question of “how” do you actually cheat a rich and influential person. The bottom line remains, rich and influential people are generally that way because they had some sort of “smarts” that the rest of us did not have. It’s often said that one of the gifts of the “rich” is that they have an idea of the value of things and they have an uncanny knack of avoiding spending more money than they have to on certain things.

PJ O’Rouke, the famous American satirist once made the observation that the really rich (in Bank Speak – HNW individuals) didn’t spend much money on designer brands because they didn’t need to show off. Bill Gates, who has been the richest man in the world for the better part of two decades was famous for flying coach. Why would a man who has billions need to count the pennies? I believe its because Mr. Gates is aware that the value of the extra comfort between coach and first isn’t worth all that money (I, on the other hand dream of flying in Ethihad’s Residences, which costs around $40,000 – my sister then put me down to earth by reminding me that I’d arrive at the destination in the same time as the chaps who flew coach.).

 Another billionaire who made a point of protecting his wealth, was the infamous Jean-Paul Getty, who installed a pay phone in his house because he noticed that his guests were using his phone to make prohibitively expensive calls at his expense – his logic was simple – I may be rich but there’s no reason for you to get a free ride. The late Mr. Getty also made it a point to remind the world that he never married his five wives, they married him or at least they hopped they were marrying his money.

You could argue that not every rich person is smart with money. You could argue that I am only talking about those who had to work for it and got scorched along the way. One only has to read gossip mags to know about the way the young brats spend inherited fortunes. 

However, even then, it’s tough to “cheat” the rich in as much as even if the said rich person is an idiot, he or she will have someone out there willing to protect him or her from the world’s scoundrels. To get access to the well to do is a challenge.

Then, there’s what I call the “Beauty Parade” syndrome. Like it or not, the rich become automatically very attractive, especially to the world’s top most sales people. 

As every “hot chick” will testify to, when every guy drool over you, you get to pick and choose. I remember the former head of SAGIA (Saudi Arabian General Investment Authority) in Asia Pacific telling me that the problem with getting Singaporean investors was the fact that they were used to dealing in countries that were desperate for investment. As he said, “With us, the Americans and Europeans are knocking at our doors.” He’s right, despite the brutality of the Jamal Khashoggi killing, the Saudi Government remains very aware that if the Russians and Chinese are more than happy to fill the gap if the Europeans stop selling them arms. 

If one takes the analogy of Dr. Lim and the Sultan of Brunei as an example, it’s very clear that Dr. Lim wasn’t selected stupidly. When the Brunei Royal Family says they need a doctor, every respectable medical institution in the world will fly over and offer what they believe will swing the deal in your favour – which hospital wouldn’t want to claim that they were chosen by the Sultan of Brunei?

Then there’s the fear factor. Money, as they say, often buys power. Money combined with influence means that people have an urge to be good to you, if anything, its for the fear of being crushed by you. Money can buy very good lawyers. Money can buy muscle of the illegal sort.

I’m not saying that you can’t cheat rich people as the very existence of Bernie Madoff will attest to. Nor, do I subscribe to the philosophy that you should cheat the rich. “Cheating” as they say is one of those things that has a way of biting you back both in the legal and cosmic sense. 

What I will say is that “Warren Buffet” is correct when he says that people like him don’t need protection from the government or extra laws to help them get buy. 

I’d also ad the caveat that working to become rich is a worthwhile exercise in that it will probably train your mind and character in very unique ways. Some of the richest people I’ve known have this incredible way of being above the “hype” that the rest of society likes to inflict. That is a priceless ability and all the other trappings are nice too. 

The Nature of Wealth as Expressed by Vagabond.

I am hardly wealthy. I admit to the fact that I’m often struggling to find my next meal and now that the Evil Teen has become an adult, it’s been a challenge to make the pennies stretch.

However, while I’ve not made money, I’ve had my successes and I attribute my successes to the privilege of being known by successful people (I work on the adage that it’s the people who know me that count rather than the people I know – because I know everybody). I’ve often mentioned that I’ve had the good fortune to be guided by the likes of PN Balji, former CEO and founding Editor of the Today newspaper and I’ve also had the good fortune to work with the likes of former Saudi Ambassador to Singapore, Dr. Amin Kurdi and Girija Pande, former Asia-Pacific CEO of Tata Consultancy Services, who once told me, “Just make it happen, you’re as good as any of us.” (He was referring to a host of Indian Institutes of Management Alumni who happened to have exceedingly successful careers.)

So, while I am by no means wealthy and I do not have a “career” in the conventional success, I can be deemed successful in as much as successful people have been willing to associate with me. Success, as they say is contagious. In every study of wealth and the wealthy, one common feature stands out – successful people inevitably hang out with people who are equally so. Think of today’s great genuine friendship between Bill Gates and Warren Buffet, who come from different generations and very different industries (Buffet famously did not invest in technology companies during the dot com boom of the early 2000s, while Gates built the technology industry making software rather than hardware the focus.) Li-Ka Shing, Hong Kong’s famous “Superman” and for many years, the richest person of Chinese descent, advised the up and coming to spend money on lunch with someone more successful.

A while back, I once tried to list down the wealthiest person I knew of every ethnic group to see if I could gain a greater insight into what makes people of a certain wealth level what they are and whether there were any particular industries that were good for making fortunes.

While, I can’t come up with any ground-breaking theories that haven’t been bandied about before, I think one of the greatest factors is the willingness to try new things and new places and to do things differently. The examples I have are as follows:

Hans Hofer, the founder of Insight Guides. Mr. Hofer left Germany in the 60s and moved to Bali. He fell in love with the island and felt the urge to share the beauty of the island with the world. He convinced the General Manager of the Intercontinental Hotel to back him up in producing a guide book with coloured photos, something which until then didn’t exist. Insight Guides grew into a publishing empire turning over some S$25 million a year and then Mr. Hofer was bought out by Langenscheidt KG.

Mr. Hofer’s story is remarkable in the sense that it combines the concept of being far away from home but also being close to home. The place that gave him the seed for his money was Bali, many miles away from his native Germany. Mr. Hofer’s success was built entirely in Asia.

Yet, at the same time, Mr. Hofer has never forgotten the German community. I got to know this when I asked him who gave him his first break. He made the point that the General Manager of the Intercontinental was a German. You could say, the take away from Mr. Hofer’s story is that you should be willing to travel the world and seek adventure beyond your home shores but never forget your people so to speak.

I also think of Patrick Grove, the CEO of Catha Group. Mr. Grove, who is one year my junior, went to work at Arthur Anderson in their corporate finance division. He’s said that he needed to assure his parents that he would get a proper job for at least two-years. Once that two-year period ended, Mr. Grove went out, searching for bright ideas he could bring to this part of the world and the success of Catha Group is based on the diversity of industries like selling cars, selling entertainment and classified.

The take away from Mr. Grove would be thus – don’t be a prisoner of your professional background or education. Use the skills you learn from those experiences but don’t be afraid to look at other areas and how you can do something in areas that aren’t officially yours.

The other story that’s worth mentioning is that of Arun Jain, the founder of Intellect Design Arena Limited, and former Chairman of Polaris Consulting, a company which he eventually sold to Virtusa Limited. Mr. Jain had the good fortune to get a “US” Green card, where he could have worked as one of the many middle-class Indians who have benefited from the outsourcing bug that many companies caught in the 1990s. Yet, Mr. Jain decided that he could build something out of India and gave up the prized Green Card. One of Mr. Jain’s founding employees told me, “that man could dream and he could get things done.” Instead of talking about trying to pay the mortgage and other middle-class worries, Mr. Jain has the pleasure of focusing on how to bring technology to benefit the masses, all because he was able to break out of the common mold that working in the USA as a programmer would be his path to success, which is what the Indian IT industry has been based on.

Not everyone with the entrepreneurial bug is successful but as the three men I’ve mentioned earlier show, setting your mind free can be a liberating and even financially rewarding experience.

Of Trolls and Vigilanteh

By Marc Bakker

Marketing Director of Right Hook Communications Pte Ltd 

Hawkers have been a hot topic in 2018. The attention is showing no signs of fading with experts coming forward regularly to add their insights, which is healthy and informative when dealing with a complicated topic, especially one which touches on sensitive issues like people’s livelihood, affordable food, nutrition, exploitative contracts, etc.

Unfortunately, as with most heated issues, this is an environment that also attracts trolls and agitators, often anonymous, who muddy the waters either intentionally or by accident. This is much less healthy and with fake news also being a hot topic in 2018, this is a good time to take a closer look at the real damage that these kinds of agents can cause. In particular let’s shine the light on an incident that happened just this week that involved my business partner and exposes a U-turn of breath-taking proportions.

In the Defense of Hawkers

Last week KF Seetoh of Makan Sutra fame, made the headlines by exposing what appear to be exploitative contracts from Social Enterprise Hawker Centres (SEHC) that unfairly penalise hawkers. KF Seetoh is a long-time and vocal defender of hawkers and hawker culture. This is pretty much public knowledge, so his contribution to the debate was no surprise.

What was surprising was a post, now deleted, by the folks at SMRT Feedback by the Vigilanteh accusing KF Seetoh of being a hypocrite since he also runs a hawker centre.

This was out of character for the well-known troll page that over the years built up a reputation for sticking up for the little guy and speaking truth to power. Needless to say, the backlash was swift and brutal, as is often the case on social media. What happened next is very much a perfect example of what not to do when you mess up online.

How not to Internet

The main gist of the backlash was that the group was comparing publicly funded SEHCs with a for profit organisation. My business partner was one of the many critics. Ultimately the group took the post down, replaced it with a half apology then edited that post and yesterday took it down again as if the entire sorry saga never happened. There’s too much to go into in terms of the specifics, but for those who want to know more, this is a pretty good summary of what went down (http://theindependent.sg/smrt-feedback-recoils-backlash-deletes-post-criticising-food-guru-k-f-seetoh-evokes-lky-to-apologise-clears-post-and-throws-previous-admin-under-the-bus/).

In a nutshell, things went off the rails very quickly. Let’s have a quick look at some of the communications/PR sins committed:

1.      Personal attacks: rather than address the criticism head on and defend their position, the first response was to personally attack the critics. For example, in the case of my business partner, they belittled him as a failed business person, which isn’t even true. We’re doing quite well thank you very much. Another critic was lambasted for being the ex-founder of the Middle Ground, an online media outlet that closed its doors this year.

2.      I’m right because I make more money than you: the group then took things a step further and started boasting about their financial backing as if being wealthy is the same thing as being right.

3.      Deleting posts: deleting posts from people who disagree with you is a pretty basic mistake and for a group that, in their own words, has “regular client work in the marcomm field” it’s particularly puzzling.

4.      Banning readers: Full disclosure, I was one of the people banned from their page, which is puzzling because I hadn’t contributed to the discussion beyond liking a few posts. I have no issue with banning abusive profiles, but when you insult someone’s company and then ban them before they have a chance to defend themselves, that’s weak.

5.      Appropriating content: The only post remaining on their Facebook page on this whole saga is basically coming full circle and, like KF Seetoh did, expose a seemingly abusive contract that they “received today”. The problem? The exact same document was already exposed by All Singapore Stuff in 2016. Maybe someone did send it to them that day, but even the most basic google search would immediately tell them that this was old news and hardly a scoop.  

The U-turn

To add insult to injury, soon after the original post was deleted, the group did a complete 180 and put out a post which basically mirrored KF Seetoh’s suggestions. With the sordid history deleted, media outlets like Yahoo News and Coconuts even covered the story as if SMRT Feedback and KF Seetoh had been on the same side all along.

Where it gets Sinister

So how does a legendary troll site end up not only get on the wrong side of the “little guy”, but mess up so badly in handling the predictable backlash to the point where they need to pretend it never happened?

Well, as it turns out the Vigilanteh isn’t the Vigilanteh anymore. The original owner sold the site to a nameless company some time in 2016. So all those feel-good “little guy sticks it to the man” stories? That’s the old guard. These are not the same fellas, they’re usurpers using the good name and reputation of a genuine folk hero for purposes that are not altogether clear.

There is a deeper issue coming out of this minor Internet squabble and that is the question of responsibility and accountability. There’s nothing wrong with being a troll site and we all love our edutainment, our memes, our snarky posts and clap backs. It’s all fun and games until suddenly it isn’t. Sites like SMRT Feedback walk a tight rope between fun and entertainment and getting involved with serious public discourse. Currently these agents are not accountable to anyone. And what happens, like in this case, when the ownership of a site changes hands and the Robin Hood turns out to be in cahoots with the Sheriff of Nottingham?

It’s like Johnny Depp’s Ichabod Crane said in Sleepy Hollow: “Villainy wears many masks, but none so evil as that of virtue”.

377A Doesn't Show We Are a Conservative Society - It Show's We Don't Know Being a Bigot is Bad for Business

By Mr. Mark Goh Aik Leng
Founder and Managing Director of Vanilla Law LLC

The decriminalisation of gay sex between two consenting adult men once again surfaces as a hot-button topic of discussion across the nation after India struck down their Section 377 and Professor Tommy Koh asked the gay community to challenge our own Section 377A again. Since then there have been opinions from religious leaders in Singapore, a new constitutional challenge filed, extensive arguments by former Attorney Generals and a town hall held to rally individuals to speak to their Members of Parliament.

Here at VanillaLaw LLC, our stand is clear – inclusion and diversity is of utmost importance when it comes to creating a workplace environment that is safe, welcoming and ideal for, well, work. No employee can possibly function well if they feel that they have to hide who they are, watch their mannerisms, watch what they say, etc. Can you imagine having to work in a place where your most constant thought is, “I better make sure not to reveal that I am gay because my colleagues and bosses do not like gay people.”? In our community, it’s more important to be open-minded, respectful and willing to have open discussions about our differences.

On the human resources front, diversity and inclusion efforts specifically work to combat any form of discrimination due to gender, age, race, religion, sexual orientation, disability, marital status and disability. A 2018 study shows that while things are improving, more still needs to be done. Workplace discrimination disregards a person’s talents, experiences and skills, which from an employer’s perspective, is human resource suicide. There have been companies that have been boycotted by whole segments of their client base because of open discrimination from the company and/or its leaders on specific sensitive issues.

On the legal front, it is interesting to note that there is no specific part of the Employment Act that actively protects against discriminatory practices. However, the local Ministry of Manpower (MOM) refers to the Tripartite Guidelines on Fair Employment Practices (TAFEP) when it comes to employment discrimination. If any employee experiences employment discrimination, they can contact TAFEP for help. At this stage, the Tripartite Alliance for Dispute Management (TADM) is a possible avenue to see redress. If an employer is “recalcitrant, unresponsive, or persistently fails to improve their employment practices”, TAFEP will refer the case to MOM for further investigation. After the investigation, if the employer is found to have engaged in discriminatory practices, MOM will take the appropriate actions to curtail his/her work pass privileges, with the period of curtailment varying depending on the severity of the case. Read more about it here.

In spite of the above measures that are in place, if we were to look more critically at the realities of the law, two glaring points stand out – a) TAFEP is only consultative and seeks parties to mediate, b) there are presently no specific anti-discrimination law, which makes us wonder if MOM actually has any power to persecute, let alone investigate companies.

At the end of the day, we seek to encourage all employers to implement anti-discrimination policies. These could be in employee handbook or in the terms in the employment agreement.  Business owners should think carefully for themselves about the kind of work environment they want to operate in. Always ask yourself, what is truly best for your business and the people working with and for you?

Is this a Singapore Ponzi in the making?

By Mr. Getty Goh 

CEO of CEO & Co-Founder, CoAssets Ltd (ASX: CA8) |

Recently some new CoAssets members got in touch with me. Knowing that i have written articles on how to spot scams, they wanted to pick my brains and see what i thought of this deal.

Based on my understanding, this particular Brazilian developer (remember ECO House) was trying to raise S$19million. The payout is shown in the EDM below (I have blanked out the company name and logo, so as not to give away the identity of the developer and asset management company).

So are they a scam? Is what they are doing illegal?

Without doing due diligence, i cannot comment whether this is a scam. However, when it come to legality, there are several points to note:

1. To raise funds from members of the public in Singapore, the company must have a Capital Market Services License (CMSL). Since it is stipulated by law, to raise funds without a proper license is deemed not legal and such companies may often see themselves landing on the MAS alert list.

2. Depending on the exemption they use, companies, in general, can only raise NOT more than S$5m every 12months. Anything more, will require the company to lodge a prospectus document with the authorities. You can read the guidelines here (http://www.mas.gov.sg/Regulations-and-Financial-Stability/Regulations-Guidance-and-Licensing/Securities-Futures-and-Funds-Management/Guidelines/2016/Guidelines-on-Personal-Offers-made-pursuant-to-the-Exemption-for-Small-Offers.aspx)

In short, companies that are trying to raise > $5m without having the proper license, lodging a prospectus and/or the proper structure is place is not legal. While it is still possible for the company to make money and give returns in the near-term, what are the long-term prospects of dealing with an business entity that is not compliant from the onset?

If you have benefited from this short commentary, please feel free to share with as many friends as possible so that they will know what to look out for and not unwittingly fall prey to illegal business scams :-)

If a Dinosaur from the 70s can Learn to Dance, why Can't You?

By Mr. Christopher Lo
Founder and Executive Director of iAdD Pte Ltd

My Love Affair with Technology. Five years ago I stepped away from the only job I knew - being a military professional serving in the Singapore Armed Forces (SAF) for nearly 24 years. I was fortunate. The SAF allowed me to spearhead many Digitization and Digitalization projects spanning the life cycle management spectrum of defence capabilities. From enterprise architecting to process mapping the next generation command and control decision support systems (C2 systems), I bore witness to how military IT and advanced weapons systems evolved. I experienced the implementation of Second Gen C2 systems into service, and seeded the 3rd Gen C2 systems, and fighting capabilities.

Reality Bites. Given the long lead times for military systems to traditionally develop, I always felt that I was at the forefront of capabilities development. Yet nothing was more humbling than to observe how far behind I was compared to the tech world when I stepped into entrepreneurship from August 2013. The military thinking remained at least 10 years ahead of the corporate world. Yet, I humbly submit that the military world I came from, severely lagged the tech-driven economy, in terms of speed of innovation and implementation.

Unlearning to Learn and Relearn. Since that shock, I set myself the goal to learn and keep pace with the knowledge for current technologies. From 3D printing, big data, cloud and the Internet of Things (IoT), to artifical intelligence (AI), machine learning (ML) and block chain, and even the latest advances in High Performance Computing (HPC), I sought to get myself educated. I invested in myself to learn from online, SkillsFuture- and CITREP+-funded courses, participate in hackathons, SGInnovate talks, and volunteer in DataKind projects. I learned to get comfortable speaking the language of codes - HTML5, javascript, R, C#, etc, and learned how they all fit together to create and enable digital capabilities.

My Realization. One thing stood out for me. Knowing to code in python is a necessary skill for the Digitalization Age. After attempting to self-learn through Udemy courses purchased online, enrolling into SkillsFuture-endorsed courses, I finally found the course that matched my learning style. This was the Codecademy's 9-week Programming with Python (PWP) Intensive. I realise what ticked for me, where the other courses failed, was the training design. I am an adult learner. I found Codecademy's course designed for adult learners.

How so you might ask?

Validation through Application in Mini-Projects. I like the self-paced structure of the program. Codecademy's design embedded numerous exercises and quizzes to allow me to review my understanding. And the biggest difference compared to other courses, was how the PWP provided mini projects to allow me immediate application of the knowledge gained. I looked forward to applying myself in solving these appropriately matched challenges. This double-loop learning designed process reinforced my understanding through experiential learning from firsthand application with validation.

Besides the andragogy-driven curriculum design, I felt Codecademy's PWP did well in two other aspects of providing the learning structure. Both tweaks addressed the motivational aspects of learners.

Pinch of Paying to Learn Moves You to Act. First, you have to pay USD199 for the Intensive. It is only human to naturally lose motivation over time, unless one feels the "pain". In this case, PWP costs more than Udemy courses, but is cheaper to the SkillsFuture and CITREP+ courses I attended. Your cost is really your time commitment into the Intensive to make your USD199 investment count.

Deadline for Certification Drives You to Act. Second, you have two weeks to complete and submit the Capstone project to earn your certification. The time limit to complete the Capstone project for certification definitely motivated me to prioritise working on the project. Regardless of whatever field you work on, the concept of scarcity is always a necessity to drive priorities and actions.

Adult Learning is Experiential Learning. When it comes to coding and to adult learning, nothing beats experiential learning by getting your hands "dirty" to learn how to code. I found greater value from my PWP journey than all the invested time and money spent in other similar courses. The reinforcement of learning from the various mini-projects and the Capstone project made all the difference.

My Takeaway. The biggest value we, dinosaurs, bring to this future world, is our experience - the application of our wisdom for HOW TO THINK to solve real world problems with speed. Coding is but the language of machines we must learn to enable the application of our wisdom. To stay relevant in the Digital Economy, learning to code is therefore a necessity. Allow me to share my takeaway: "If this dinosaur born in the '70s did it, so can you. What's your excuse now?!"

6 big ideas to make Malaysia the leader of the digital revolution in SEA

By Mr. Patrick Grove

Co-Founder and CEO of Catha Group

I have written and spoken about the power of ASEAN entrepreneurs so many times that I’m at risk of sounding like a broken record! You see, I’ve always believed in the potential and might of ASEAN - its people, economy and diversity. 

But Malaysia, in particular, is a special place to me. From the street food vendors to the executives in the Petronas towers, I’ve found an amazing entrepreneurship spirit and astounding drive to progress the country forward. I still believe that Malaysia is the best country in SEA to operate global businesses from - where the cost of business operations remains low and the language barrier is basically non-existent compared to most countries in the region. I’m convinced that businesses could only benefit from establishing their base in Malaysia (after all, I’ve done so with 5 businesses under the Catcha portfolio).

However, not everyone agrees. Malaysia has yet to become the country of choice for SEA unicorns for various reasons. As a big supporter of the country and all that it has to offer, here are my 6 big ideas to make Malaysia the leader of the digital revolution in SEA, and to showcase our immense potential.

1. Establishing a “Team of Eminent Persons” solely focused on the tech sector.

I strongly believe that having a team of experienced individuals advise the government on its policies and strategies concerning progress in the digital sector, will prove the government’s commitment to make us the digital hub of SEA and its openness to new ideas. The individuals making up this team have to not only be experienced, but also command respect from both the public and private sector.

In a country where government-linked companies and investment vehicles still figure heavily as part of the economic and corporate world, the Team of Eminent Persons could extend their role to them - advising GLCs, GLICs and other large incumbents across key industries on their digitisation strategies. The team will also consult ministries and agencies on all policy matters and issues affecting local tech companies.

I strongly believe that it’s very important to establish this as soon as possible because any technological innovation and advancements could greatly affect the Malaysian people and its economy.

2. The establishment of KL Internet City (KLIC)

Getting our local tech companies to the same level as global and regional giants isn’t something they can do on their own. In today’s globalised world, local tech start-ups can only benefit from exposure to foreign investments and ideas. One of the best ways to provide this exposure is to establish an internet city to house all tech ecosystem players where local players can mingle with global tech giants to expand their networks and exchange ideas.

The KLIC is a public-private sector partnership led by Catcha Group with the support of MDEC. We envision it as a digital hub for global tech giants from China, the US and other major countries around the world targeting Southeast Asia, as well as regional tech leaders and local startups. It will facilitate end-to-end support, networking, tech-specific education and knowledge-sharing to drive innovation in the digital economy.

KLIC will include customised corporate and personal tax incentives to attract these various players (all of whom typically may have looked to other countries, instead). 

One more way the government could help push this vision forward is to emulate what other governments have done. For example, the Singaporean Economic Development Board has been actively approaching global tech companies to set up their offices in Singapore. We feel that this additional support from the right government agency can hasten the effectiveness of KLIC.

3. Technology-dedicated unicorn fund with GLICs as LPs

In 2017 alone, 72% of investments into SEA companies came from China, amounting to USD$4.3bn invested in 3 of the biggest deals in the region. While this shows that we have the right credibility to pull in big investments, there is a substantial funding gap locally. In Malaysia, particularly, local Malaysian unicorns (for e.g. Grab and iflix) have received no growth funding from local capital.

One of my biggest hopes for the next few years is to see at least 50% of local tech companies being funded by Malaysian money. To achieve this, it’s important for the government to set the tone by establishing a fund specifically for startups who have achieved massive growth here and are looking to scale to other competitive markets.

This fund will also go towards setting Malaysia up as a regional HQ for global unicorns. Together with KLIC, the unicorn fund could be a game changer for the nation’s digital economy. Collectively, they would address all 4 key building blocks of a vibrant tech ecosystem – education, collaboration, talent and funding.

Many Malaysian GLICs are still playing catch-up when it comes to having an in-depth understanding of the tech space, so it might be useful to partner with a seasoned private sector partner in the early stages, before they can independently evaluate, execute and harvest the right investments.

4. Creating ample “public currency” and liquidity for tech companies

One of the key elements in laying out the foundation for local tech startups to excel is the accessibility to an IPO. Most tech startups bring disruptive ideas and technology to bear. This often requires big upfront investment and because of their disruptive/pioneering business, most of these startups are not expected to make a profit in their first few years of operation.

This makes it difficult for tech startups to chart the path to an IPO with Bursa Malaysia, considering its strict profit requirements.

To prevent local tech companies from listing abroad (FDV & iCar Asia, our Catcha Group companies, are listed on the ASX) , Bursa may want to look into more tech-friendly listing rules, as well as allow for the listing of tech funds and incubators. This has been successfully implemented in Australia, the UK and the US.

5. Full digitization of government services

The Malaysian government has been very eager to fully embrace the digital revolution and we’ve seen some great strides in this area. A number of government platforms have been digitized, however, we could take things one step further by pledging a completely digitized public service.

One of the best points to use technology in the government’s operations, is in consumer-facing activities. Collecting payments could be done digitally with the implementation of exciting technologies like blockchain while other activities could be facilitated through AI and machine learning. When it comes to using technology to empower people, there’s so much we can do and the sky’s the limit!

This effort should be done via public-private partnerships, where trusted and capable private partners are brought on board to provide their expertise and experience to help execute the plan. This would allow the local tech ecosystem to play their part in developing the nation too.

6. The carrot or stick approach: “encouraging” all non-tech incumbents to either develop tech capabilities of their own or partner with tech companies.

Many traditional companies who are large players in their respective industries are either slow to embrace innovation, fearful of the change that technology brings, or just do not understand what’s required to make it work. This is understandable considering the business dynamics and regulations they have had to operate in. However, disruption waits for no one, and these organisations must move fast as well.

They will need to fully embrace the application of technology to business, and the government could facilitate this by supporting non-tech incumbents to work together with tech companies. It can be done by introducing tech-related laws to penalise / reward companies accordingly - e.g “Tech penalties” for those who fail to adopt digital innovation, or “Tech tax incentives” to reward those who do.

Some of these ideas may seem far-fetched. But don’t all disruptive businesses start out so?

If all 6 of these are acted on, I don’t see any reason why Malaysia couldn’t be the next digital hub of Southeast Asia. I (and my group of rockstars at Catcha Group!) are more than ready to take a leading role in putting Malaysia on the world map as a global leader of the digital economy. We need all stakeholders - the Malaysian government, private sector, local entrepreneurs etc - to contribute everything they can to make this dream a reality.

Have You Dealt with Misers ...?

We all do, in our lives – we encounter misers at work, among friends, relatives, and acquaintances. It always baffles me why they behave the way they do, most times well educated, well placed, and mostly well secured, still misers. It is hard to understand their psyche and mind-set and when faced to deal with one, you find, it can be very frustrating. As it is said sometimes, knowing is redeeming, I have done some deep diving. To understand better, and perhaps help them, or at the least help our hapless selves with some insightful answers.

We don’t choose our parents, our upbringing nor our genes. !

Much of 18 and 19th century work on psychology, found miserliness running through heredity. It is not biological, but a strong parenting and upbringing style that manifests itself in generations of families. Scott Rick, a postdoctoral student at the University of Pennsylvania's Wharton School who has done research on what makes people cheap, says that childhood plays a big role. If you have two thrifty parents, you're likely to be thrifty as well.

Well that also not also be the universal rule, where childhood isn't the only factor. George Loewenstein, a professor of economics and psychology at Carnegie Mellon University, says people have innate tendencies. "It's almost like people are born tightwads or cheapskates,”  There is yet another reason, ie circumstances and life experiences that shaped miserliness – the great depression, the world wars, the famines et all have left their toll on human psychology and a long line of misers, who after outliving the circumstances retain much of the famine behaviours. Let look at historically famous world class misers: -

1. English politician John Elwes is thought to be the basis for that most famous miser, Ebenezer Scrooge in Charles Dickens novel Christmas Carol. The MP, born in 1714, was worth over $390,000 (approximately $28 million in today's money) but lived like a pauper. He wore threadbare, ragged clothes and went to bed when darkness fell to avoid wasting money on candles, while his home fell into ruins. He died with very few possessions but left his unspent fortune to his two sons, born out of wedlock.

1. Henrietta 'Hetty' Green, born in 1835, was the richest woman in the world in the 1800s. She died with money and assets worth over $100 million (nearly $2 billion when adjusted for inflation) but during her lifetime she refused to open her pockets to the needy, even if they were from her own family! Hetty's son broke his leg as a child but she refused to pay for any treatment and instead tried to get him into a free clinic for the poor. For these reasons, Guinness World Records claim that Hetty was the World's Greatest Miser.

The honors list of misers is indeed very long. Indeed most recently the Swiss Banks released a list of over 50000 names of holocaust period account holders who have in totality have left billions of dollars’ worth of wealth, forgotten and unclaimed by their descendants.

It is indeed sad, pathetic and remorseful to see a miser go. Live poorly to die rich!

Don’t they look and behave like us? … Behavioural anatomy of the Miser:-

Things & Feelings

We all have love for things and have sensitive feelings too. Often feelings come in conflict with things, and it depends on what you give importance too. For a miser feelings are absent, or at best secondly. The only feeling is the need process ‘things’. Things tend to give them security, they can physically touch, count, hold and feel secure. The love of sheer money – cash in bank or in hand is what counts.  

Eternal Postponement

Conservation, preservation, and postponement of consumption, of usage of things is the other dimension. Something good to eat is kept for a better day to have it, a new dress to be worn only on a distant unspecified and uncertain future date, and so on. Postponement gives a sense of security to hold and possess a thing, almost for ever. In short it leads to hoarding. Misers are the biggest hoarders in the world. They cannot discard anything for instance it can come of use in some distant uncertain date.

Money

The focus of all actions is rooted in the need for money. Having and holding on to money in cash or in bank, with a simple note of the amount provides sustenance to a miser to go on adding more, saving more, growing the abstract no as they perpetually live in the fear or joy that they are building a nest egg for an undefined, unknown dry summer in the distant future. Still watching the color of currency is most soothing :) 

Deprivation and abstinence

Somehow, misers thrive through self-imposed deprivation and abstinence. Denying themselves what they need, by such self-denial they derive some high sense of achievement, as they would avoid expending money or consumption of any kind.

Free Indulgence in free-goods

They have a penchant for anything that comes free – indulge, consume, amass just because it comes free. There is no greater joy than a free meal for a miser, no matter his social standing or wealth. Anything that comes free is extremely valuable.

For their lack of real feelings, misers can be extremely self-centred and missionary to achieve their goals, and care little for what others say. In other words they have little shame or self-esteem as they go about practicing their owed miserliness.

Grand Mix-up ! 

Misers are wired up somewhat differently. They truly believe in themselves as doing absolutely right. The difference from sensible thrift to senseless misery is blurred in their minds. Similarly, they tend to behave paradoxically - buy a car but not use it to save on parking or go on a holiday and loose the sight of time value of money, running after cheapest modes of transport or eating places. Life is full of opportunities, where a small top up or premium can give marginally higher returns, misers tend miss it and look at absolute values than relative values .

The science behind it all ….

The science defines a miser as afflicted with HD (Hoarding Disorder). Here are some researched insights on the behavioral causes of misers.

1. Some financial psychologists have identified a miserly relationship with money as being a feature of HD in some individuals. It has been suggested that money hoarders have so much anxiety about not having enough money that they may neglect the most basic self-care activities and have great difficulty enjoying the benefits of accumulating money -Journal of Financial Therapy Volume 4, Issue 2 (2013) ISSN: 1945-7774 CC

1. Forman (1987) described a financial hoarder as having a fear of losing money, distrust of others around money, and trouble enjoying money. Klontz and Britt (2012b) identified a link between money attitudes and hoarding behaviours. They found that money status scripts and money worship scripts predicted compulsive hoarding behaviours. Specifically, individuals who linked net worth to self-worth and held the belief that the key to happiness and the solution to all of their problems was to have more money were significantly more likely to engage in hoarding behaviours (Klontz & Klontz, 2009).

1. In the development of the Klontz Money Behaviour Inventory (K-MBI), Klontz and colleagues (2012) identified the following symptoms in their Compulsive Hoarding scale:

• • I have trouble throwing things away, even if they aren’t worth much.
  • My living space is cluttered with things I don’t use.
  • Throwing something away makes me feel like I am losing a part of myself.
  • I feel emotionally attached to my possessions.
  • My possessions give me a sense of safety and security.
  • I have trouble using my living space because of clutter.
  • I feel irresponsible if I get rid of an item.
  • I hide my need to hold on to items from others.

While this provides a psychological and scientific basis for miserly behaviour there is much more to it.  Such misers, are usually a part of a greater problem than sheer HD. They may be suffering from OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder) or OCDP (obsessive compulsive disorder personality). While they sound very medical terms, they are simple to grasp.

Looking at the Encyclopaedia of Mental Disorders, one gets a deeper insight: - 

Obsessive-compulsive personality disorder (OCPD) is a type of personality disorder marked by rigidity, control, perfectionism, and an over concern with work at the expense of close interpersonal relationships. Persons with this disorder often have trouble relaxing because they are preoccupied with details, rules, and productivity. They are often perceived by others as stubborn, stingy, self-righteous, and uncooperative.

Symptoms of OCPD

The symptoms of OCPD include a pervasive over concern with mental, emotional, and behavioural control of the self and others. Excessive conscientiousness means that people with this disorder are generally poor problem-solvers and have trouble making decisions; as a result, they are frequently highly inefficient. Their need for control is easily upset by schedule changes or minor unexpected events. While many people have some of the following characteristics, a person who meets the DSMIV-TR criteria for OCPD must display at least four of them:

• Preoccupation with details, rules, lists, order, organization, or schedules to the point at which the major goal of the activity is lost.
• Excessive concern for perfection in small details that interferes with the completion of projects.
• Dedication to work and productivity that shuts out friendships and leisure-time activities, when the long hours of work cannot be explained by financial necessity.
• Excessive moral rigidity and inflexibility in matters of ethics and values that cannot be accounted for by the standards of the person's religion or culture.
• Hoarding things, or saving worn-out or useless objects even when they have no sentimental or likely monetary value.
• Insistence that tasks be completed according to one's personal preferences.
• Stinginess with the self and others.
• Excessive rigidity and obstinacy.

Causes

No single specific cause of OCPD has been identified. Since the early days of Freudian Psychoanalysis however, faulty parenting has been viewed as a major factor in the development of personality disorders. Current studies have tended to support the importance of early life experiences, finding that healthy emotional development largely depends on two important variables: parental warmth and appropriate responsiveness to the child's needs. When these qualities are present, the child feels secure and appropriately valued. By contrast, many people with personality disorders did not have parents who were emotionally warm toward them. Patients with OCPD often recall their parents as being emotionally withholding and either overprotective or over controlling. One researcher has noted that people with OCPD appear to have been punished by their parents for every transgression of a rule, no matter how minor, and rewarded for almost nothing. As a result, the child is unable to safely develop or express a sense of joy, spontaneity, or independent thought, and begins to develop the symptoms of OCPD as a strategy for avoiding punishment. Children with this type of upbringing are also likely to choke down the anger they feel toward their parents; they may be outwardly obedient and polite to authority figures, but at the same time treat younger children or those they regard as their inferiors harshly.

There is a marked difference between OCD and OCDP, the later which is more embedded and entrenched in the personality, more challenging in terms of therapy.  In both cases miserly behaviours are commonly found. Modern psychiatry treats both OCD ad OCPD through psychotherapy and also medications, however the real challenge is always in belling cat to the table to accept the problem and seek treatment.

Dealing with them…

To turn philosophical, ultimately the other peaceful way to deal with them is to turn to Gautama Buddha who said in his Dhammapada verse 223, which is translated as “Silence the angry man with love. Silence the ill-natured man with kindness. Silence the miser with generosity. Silence the liar with truth.”

By Mr. K V RAO