Thursday, December 30, 2021

Is There a Difference between a Whore and a Prostitute?

 

I’ve noticed two stories on the Independent Singapore (a website that occasionally picks up pieces from this blog), about the link between money, income, status and relaitonships. The stories can be found at:

https://theindependent.sg/nus-student-feels-like-a-loser-because-her-boyfriend-bought-her-a-louis-vuitton-wallet-instead-of-a-chanel-one/?utm_medium=Social&utm_source=Facebook&fbclid=IwAR1LJ2NJxyYO993mljS8isaBONhQpbAKjfo2vNwKU0IQGCXqQ0AHbettA40#Echobox=1640390423 ; and

https://theindependent.sg/money-minded-woman-says-her-husband-earns-4000-a-year-at-one-point-but-she-still-loves-him-nonetheless/?utm_medium=Social&utm_source=Facebook&fbclid=IwAR1GCMDRbAlorAZmxShJxepyV6FeXPEsPAlbR0ctEh3sIueHb800xGp6mYs#Echobox=1640679535

These stories illustrate something fundamental about Singapore. At the surface level, you could say that the relationship between money and relationships touches on the key social issue caused by the influx of foreigners. Much of the focus on the discussion of foreigners has been about jobs or specifically the “threat” of other Asians (specifically Indian Nationals) taking “professional” jobs from the local population. While its received less attention in recent months, the issue of foreign girls (specifically Mainland Chinese) “stealing” from old men through “dubious relationships” has also been part of the key complaints about the influx of foreigners since 2004.

One does not need to be a data scientist to understand that there were plenty of Mainland Chinese and Vietnamese girls who selling their bodies in the redlight district. There were also plenty of old men throwing away their pension money on young, nubile things, mainly from the Mainland China and Vietnam. When Covid Clusters started exploding in dodgy karaoke lounges, everyone was focused on the evils of “dogy Vietnamese girls.”

So, I get it that Mainland Chinese and Vietnamese girls are as well liked in “PMET Singa-Land” as Indian Nationals with professional jobs. There are dodgy Mainland Chinese and Vietnamese girls just as they are Indian Nationals with dodgy degrees. However, as with the Indian Nationals (let’s remember that whilst you have the lot with dodgy degrees, you have the lot from IIM and IIT – places that produce Fortune 500 CEOs, something which our “world class” universities have yet to do), we not only have to ask ourselves if tarring every Mainland Chinese or Vietnamese with the same brush is fair, we also need to ask ourselves if we’re any better?

Whenever a Singaporean man ends up going for a Mainland Chinese or Vietnamese girl, you’re bound to get a flurry of comments on how the man is going to get screwed for money. You will also get a load of comments about how Singaporean men are “Marrying Down” and as one of my colleagues from my last agency job said “Singaporean men can’t live up to the standards we set for them.” Apparently Singaporean Chinese men cannot take independent, intelligent women in the same way that their Western counterparts can (though having seen what many white guys end up with, it’s a natural instinct to question the judgement of a White Man on Asian women as it is to question a White Man’s work ethic).

However, as the stories in the Independent would suggests, the “standards” that are being set have less to do with character and more to do with earning power. I mean, if a young student feels that she’s being short changed over a branded handbag, it does reflect something about her value system and what she’s been brought up to expect. Given that this is a university student we’re talking about and not a farm girl, the question remains what type of “elite” class are we raising.

Let’s face it, unless you are Jeff Bezos or Elon Musk, money plays a key role in survival. I go to a job and deal with people in suites who make me want to puke because I need to pay bills and my job puts food on the table. Let’s also be perfectly honest, we all like nice things. Between sleeping on a park bench or a fluffy bed, I chose the latter?

However, whilst money is important and material things are nice to have, we need to question if these things should be the defining of one’s character. I believe that for some, money is merely a commodity to be exchanged but to many, money, career and whatever they own, define them. I would argue that this is where we need to distinguish between a prostitute and a whore.

 


 

 Is she really that different – copyright South China Morning Post:

 

 


 From them – Copyright Mashable

To an extent, a prostitute is someone who has sex for a living. Every girl on the street corner of Geylang is a prostitute. It’s their job. They have to sell a fantasy to whichever customer comes their way in order to ensure they have money. You could say, all of us are prostitutes because we get f** for a living in one way or another and somehow, we need to sell fantasies to the clowns that pay. However, our job does not necessarily make us who we are.

A whore on the other hand is a different story. A whore doesn’t necessarily walk the street corners of dodgy places hopping to turn tricks. What a whore does is to try and get a paying person who will keep paying. Whereas the transaction with a prostitute is clear (money for a good time), its not necessarily so with a whore. Whores may actually have a genuine love for you as long as you have money. One of the most distinguishing signs of a whore is how she treats other people, particularly those whom she perceives as “lower” down. I remember a young Pinoy girl who married one of the partners in the Bistrot. With me, she was pleasant. However, I used to get very upset when she was talking to the Pinoy guys. Didn’t have to understand Tagalog to get the idea that she was reminding them that she had risen above them – and they were the ones doing honest work.

The issue I had was not so much her relationship with the partner in question but the fact that she couldn’t help but lord it over the Pinoy guys who she used to hang out with. The message was clear – she was too good for them.

Whilst all of us are to an extent prostitutes, we actually have an option of not being whores. Yes, we all put on a façade to do what we need to earn to get the coin – but we can choose how we behave when we’re in a position of having money.

I know great guys who have made pots of money but it never seemed to affect their personality. I think of Hans Hofer, founder of Apa Guidebooks who was happy to take the tube in London and was also happy to do drinks in ULU (University of London Union). I also think of Arun Jain, current MD of Intellect Design Arena, a listed company, who had no issue jumping onto the MRT (apparently has no issue with the tuk-tuks when he’s in India). Mr. Jain’s personal net worth is probably north of the US$100 million. These guys are examples of men who chose not to be whores when they made lots of money. They chose not to be whores.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m2zsf4Kg_9I

 


 Would you believe the name squatting down for a meal with his hands was one of the richest men on earth?

By contrast you have the “professionals” in places like Shenton Way, who are officially “respectable” but after a drink or two, you realise that they make the residents of Geylang look like the saintly division of the Salvation Army.

There are professional accountants who are very insistent that they are professionals and therefore you have to speak to them in a certain way. However, they think its perfectly acceptable to whistle at waitresses to summon them and whilst payments for their fellow professionals will flow, there’s always a cash flow issue when it comes to issuing payment to people like the stationary company.

This is the type of behavior that makes what goes on in the whore houses saintly. In the whore houses, you have girls who will f*** the wealthy (the wealthier the better) so that they can give the money to the poor – specifically the families they’ve left behind. By contrast the respectable whores will screw over the poor so that they can give money to the rich. I remember one of them was very upset with a Vietnamese girl for “cheating” a Caucasian lawyer. Complained that the gave her money but she “screwed other guys.” What was not mentioned that the Caucasian guy was a lawyer who managed to get himself “barred” from entering Singapore, a country that can’t get enough of “Caucasian” Professionals, whilst the girl in question built a business, sold it and travels in an out freely. The man must something to an extent that even the Singapore government wouldn’t be able to cover for him and we need to ask – really, who is the dubious one here?

Let’s understand that there is a difference between a prostitute and a whore. Let work towards making it easier for the people trying to make a living and at the same time, let us bring up our young with values beyond the material. A nation of whores is really no nation at all.

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Maira Gall