Monday, February 15, 2021

Hello Trouble

 

Highlight of Valentines Day took the shape a “romantic” flick on Netflix called “Namaste Wahala,” which has labeled as a “Bollywood-Nollywood” collaboration and tells the story of an Indian investment banker based on Lagos Nigeria who falls in love with a Nigerian Lawyer called Didi.

 

Copyright – The Indian Express

The plot is cheesy (they fall in love after colliding on the beach), which is part of the fun. There are the usual Bollywood dance scenes too, though the songs are for the most part in English. Having said all that, there is an underlying story, which is the story of acceptance of someone from a different culture.

The first scene starts out when he visits her parents. Like a good Indian boy, his automatic reaction is to touch the feet of his perspective in laws. Upon seeing him, her father spits out his drink and goes utterly nuts. She tries to assure her father that “he is a good man,” to which he replies “there are plenty of good men, who are Nigerian.”

The second culture clash comes when his mother makes a surprise visit and when he introduces her as his “girlfriend,” the reply from mummy is “Oh, you mean a friend who is a girl or a female colleague,” refusing to accept that the young African girl in front of her could be anything else to her son.

I bring this up because interracial relations are probably the last frontier of cracking racial and cultural divides. In our “modern – multi this and that” age, we’ll make a song and dance about acceptance and diversity until it hits home. This was brought home most clearly in the famous 1967 movie “Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner,” staring Spencer Tracy and Sidney Poitier. The shock of having a “black” son-in-law is one thing, but its compounded by the fact that he marched along with the civil rights movement. The father, played by Spencer Tracy is a liberal who believes in equal rights to the black community but even then, it’s a struggle for him to accept a black son-in-law who is exceedingly qualified (he is a medical doctor). In fairness, the father of Sidney Poitier’s character also thinks the “black and white” mix won’t work.  

Much as differences are praised, we often look for similarities, particularly when it comes to something as sensitive as a life partner. It’s admittedly easier to have someone who looks similar, speaks the same language, goes to the same church/temple/mosque etc and follows the same dietary laws. People end up with people who are similar for the simple reason that it doesn’t require too much ‘of a tough compromise. It’s a different story when you spend your life with someone who is immersed in personal values which are fundamentally different from yours.

This struggle is seen most clearly in the movie when the girl tells her mother, “You of all people should understand – you’re a Youroba Woman who married an Igbo Man.” The mother’s reply is “I just don’t’ want you to go through the struggle.” The daughter’s reply is “Yes, but wasn’t it worth it?”

Compromise does require struggle and it often requires a little pain for all parties. However, if both parties believe it’s a struggle worth going through, it often ends up being the case.

Which leads to the cheery point is that perhaps our efforts to be a “united” people might not be as bleak as I and a few others have often made them out to be. One of the more cheerful aspects from an otherwise depressing news report on marriages was the fact that the number of inter-ethnic marriages increased between 2009 and 2019, despite the fact that the overall number of marriages had fallen and the number of divorces and annulments had increased in that very same time period.

https://www.straitstimes.com/singapore/number-of-marriages-registered-continues-to-decline-more-couples-divorced-in-2019

This is probably a good sign in as much as people are willing to make cross cultural and ethnic compromises in the name of love. It will, as the famous fictional Senator Bullworth says a sign that we can “f*** each other until we’re all one colour.” Surely that can only be a good thing.

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Maira Gall