Snake Bite

 The year is going to end in the next 24-hours and given that I have been strangely busy, I thought I would try and bash out my usual piece to summarise the year. It’s the Chinese Year of the snake, and based on the last snake year (2013), it was similar in substance. In 2013, I had my last great working highlight, which was the IIM Alumni job (IIMPact 2013), where I had the distinct privilege of arranging interviews for Dr. Raghuram Rajan before he became governor of RBI. I would then, end that year with a crisis of dealing with one of my ex-wife’s ventures.

This snake year was slightly different. If 2013 was dealing with a cobra that blessed and bit, this year was more like a subtle grass snake reminding me that I was a very blessed person but also reminding me life has downs as well as ups.

On the surface, it was a pretty darn good year. For the first time since 2006, I actually end the year with assets. Somehow in previous moments of blessings, I never seemed able to hold a dollar. This year, I actually end the year with money in funds that are the seeds to “passive” income. Still need to work for a living but it looks like I might actually be able to afford a bowl of noodles from time to time.

I had the good fortune of regular payouts on top of my weekly pay. Since I am no longer a “property owner,” I actually qualified for a decent amount of government generosity.

It wasn’t just about money. I managed to get seen in the right place with the right people. At the inaugural TMA-Asia Pacific Conference, I actually got to post with the Minister who was giving a speech (In Singapore speak, Ministers are like celebrities):

 

 

Life wasn’t just about being in the right place at the right time or dare I say money. This was a year of travel. The Loveable Pillow got to moving to Johor with her and then decided that we needed to spend a long weekend in Batam, a place that I hadn’t been to for a while. Most interestingly, she got to me to Bangkok, where I managed to catch up with Dad in his home town for a change. Hadn’t been to Bangkok to see him since 2009, when Max flew out to meet us.

 

 You could say I am finding a groove. Life is pretty much about maintaining physical discipline to train. Diabetes ensures that physical fitness is something that is no longer negotiable. Structuring intense exercise into the week, planning meals around training and minimising alcohol are part and parcel of life. As I try to work physical discipline, I also try to work financial discipline. I’m probably past the age of thinking of a great high earning career, but I have an idea of how to put money aside and where to put it. Staying “boring” for the time being. At 51, you realise that frailty is a real part of your life and you shouldn’t allow it to happen to you as far as you can.

So, whilst it looks like I may be finally settling into something resembling normalcy, it looks like I will be missing some important people. My ex-colleague from Citibank, Ms. Dawn Pereira died of a heart attack. She was, 47 at the time of her death. Although I hadn’t spoken to her in years, I’ll always remember her as a wonder bubbly person who could always light up the place with her presence.

The other, was perhaps harder hitting. Bryan Ng Lee Heng or “Bear,” died a week before my birthday. Along with Joe Phua, we formed a trio of “The Short, the Fat and the Bald.” Our army bond made us brothers from different parents. Life made it such that our meetings post army were few and far between. Yet each meeting was special, even if all it was, was meeting for a kopi or kway teow. Like two old men, we’d talk about our partners and kids. Family struggles were a good topic. We often joked about being old grumpy men sitting in a park.

The last time I saw him was in October. He had lost allot of weight and looked weak. Doctors couldn’t tell him why but he did strike an optimistic note, talking about eating wings and drinking beer at Hooters like we did back in the army (something I will have to do in the new year since Hooters is shutting down after three decades). He last visited me in Marine Parade in October. We had kopi and when it was time to go, I got him to take a selfie.

 

 If I had known that this was the last time, I hang with him, I’d have snapped a few more. Whilst he was ill, I’m still missing him. I won’t have a “grumble-buddy” in the old age park. He was a guy who gave him heart and soul to the people he cared for and life is simply emptier without him around. So, whilst I did enjoy a successful year and if you believe in horoscopes, I should have a good one next year, I’ll be doing without the friend who stood by me for so long.

Reality Hits Hard

 

Whatever you think of Jake Paul, you have to give him credit for making boxing interesting again. The YouTube influencer turned boxing professional who uses the moniker “Problem Child” has made himself the guy that everyone wants to see get punched, which in turn gets them to tune in.

You could say that Mr. Paul is a “disruptor,” the type of person that revives his or her chosen field by doing things differently. In the field of sports, the disruptor is inevitably not the greatest player but the greatest showman. The showman stirs emotions and watching him or her in action brings out something within us. The showman is inevitably bigger than the sport. Think of the apparent bitch exchange between Martina Hingis and Anna Kournikova, when Ms Hingis said “I beat you so easily,” and Ms. Kournikova replied “But I’m so much more marketable.” Ms. Hingis could win grand slams. Most of us preferred to watch Ms. Kournikova.

Mr. Paul is a showman and for all that has been said about him, he has made boxing very interesting. He’s the living example of the saying that the it’s never the best person who gets the job but the person who sells him or herself best.

However, whilst being able to sell yourself is a vastly overlooked skill, it should never erase from the fact that there needs to be a foundation of competence somewhere beneath the hype. I think of advertising legend Bill Burnbach (the B is DDB) who said “"A great ad campaign will make a bad product fail faster. It will get more people to know it's bad".

His point was simple; you cannot make people believe a bad product is good – you can only enhance the virtues of a good product. Back when I worked in marketing, I always believed that marketing didn’t begin in marketing but in product development. When they talk about the person who sells him or herself best rather than being the best person, they’re not saying that he or she is “crap” at the job. Yes, Pete Sampras was on record the better player than Andre Agassi, even Agassi was the showman who drew us in to watch tennis. That doesn’t mean that Andre Agassi was a bad tennis player. His record shows that he was up there with the greats.

That’s where Mr. Paul fell short. He is annoying. He compels us to watch boxing but here’s the truth – he’s more of a YouTuber than a boxer. Yes, he did win fights but they were never against people in his age range. Many were retired MMA fighters. Yes, he did beat Mike Tyson in an eight-round split decision but let’s be clear, Mr. Tyson had long retired and close to 60 and not the force that he was in his 20s. Even then, Mr. Paul could only win by split decision (as much as he claims he decided to “go easy.”)

The problem for Mr. Paul was he never really invested in making sure he was ready to be challenged and when he faced Anthony Joshua, things took a painful turn. Yes, there are those who said he finally faced a “real” boxer and a “real” champion and should be respected for that. You can say that he’s made a criminal amount of money. Yet, one has to ask, was he delusional.

Let’s face it, Mr. Joshua is everything his previous opponents was not. He is physically larger (weight classes exists for a reason) and more importantly, he is in the top leagues. He’s a former Olympic Gold Medalist and two times heavy weight champion. You could say that the result was inevitable. Then, when you talk about show Mr. Paul should be credited for lasting six-rounds, one should note that Mr. Paul was constantly on his knees – not exactly the place one expects of a person bravely taking a pounding:

 https://edition.cnn.com/2025/12/20/sport/boxing-jake-paul-anthony-joshua

 

 One would say that Mr. Paul had started to believe his own hype. One has to look at his training videos, where he made his beer belly rather obvious. Ironically, he was like another of his opponents – Mike Tyson, who made the point that he lost to Buster Douglas because he was partying but Douglas was training. The difference is, Tyson had earned his championship and beaten credible opponents like Michael Spinx and Frank Bruno. His “hubris” was based on something. Mr. Douglas was at the time a 42-1 underdog fighting to prove people wrong. As the underdog, Mr. Paul wasn’t even trying to prove a point. By contrast, Mr. Joshua took the fight seriously enough to train.

Let’s look at Mr. Paul’s broken jaw as a reminder that although salesmanship gets you the job, you need to be prepared. You actually need to do the job and have some level of competence. Hype, without the foundation of competence has a way of knocking you down even if it takes a while to hit back and hit hard.

Staple People.

 

It’s been a while since I blogged or sent anyone anything. I’ve been, as they say, tied up and joined the cult of busy. I’ve reached the stage where I stopped taking back my laptop because life is about standing in the office and doing scanning (part of providence job we’re involved in) daily and then doing home.

However, since its Christmas in two days, I thought I’d bash out something to tie my recent activity with Christmas. So, amidst the Christmas festivities, I usually focus on the birth of the man we’re celebrating. The man we call Jesus of Nazareth is attributed with being the source and reason for Christianity. In Islam, he is regarded as one of God’s great prophets. The Dalai Lama calls him a “Boddhisatva.” Leaving aside the subtleties of Christian theology, I believe that we need to keep reminding ourselves of what Jesus wanted.

Which brings me to the point of my current activity – scanning documents for examination. It sounds simple, but turning paper into digital is probably one of the great acts of bridging generations. In theory it sounds simple, you just run a document through a machine and hey presto, you have it in digital.

Sounds simple enough. Sounds like a “no-brainer” task, until you discover the art of wrestling with staples. I’m dealing with accounting records of a construction company, so there’s lots of paper held together by a staple and if you don’t remove a stapler, the entire process of running things into the scanner gets jammed.

 

 On the scale of things, staples are small and insignificant. They do the job of holding things together and nobody really cares about them. They’re annoying bits of metal at times but let’s face it, nobody cares – that is until you miss a hidden one and your efforts to run something through a copier and the entire process gets jammed. The staple suddenly becomes like the joke about the body parts arguing who should be boss until the “a***hole” shuts down and everyone begs the “a***hole” to open up and allow it to be the boss.

Jesus, contrary to what “prosperity theology” teaches you, spoke for the staples of society. He told us that the “least” amongst us would be the “first” in the Kingdom of heaven. Yet, despite all of that, we refuse to listen. We focus on being “important,” and climbing up in the world. We look at sucking up and spending money to impress people we deem as important whilst ignoring those we deem beneath us.

I’ve argued and still that COVID was one of the biggest missed opportunities. We’re rushing back to “normal” without understanding that “normal” was actually screwed up. Big corporate wants us back in the office and we’re so desperate to be part of big corporate that we’re rushing back to comply and be “normal.”

We want to be paper living and doing “important” sounding things and looking like we’re “up there,” which happens to be a place nobody has actually defined. We forget the lesson of COVID, which was this – when the “paper people,” (people like me sitting in an office) were less essential to our well being than the staples (people living in dormitories and clearing our crap.)

We ignore small people because, well, they’re small and we deem them as such. Yet, when they’re gone, we suddenly get jammed. Just look at the average corporation. Everyone loves the sales guys because they “bring in the money.”  Nobody cares about corporate secretarial or compliance – if anything, we find them annoying because they’re asking about this or that piece of paper. Yet, when they go, we get fines and slaps by regulators.

I’m reminded of one of my military instructors, who talked about how fighter gets avoided getting too close to infantry men because “a 30-cent bullet can damage a two-billion-dollar jet).

I get the attraction to glamour. Yet, at Christmas, I would urge all of us to remember the “little people,” or the people doing the “s*** jobs,” because the truth is, these are the guys who hold everything together for us, making our good life possible.

 

 

We Don’t Know What is Really Going on!

 

Especially when the facts are there in front of us.

You got to love the Israeli government’s ability to turn the Western World upside down and pervert every value espoused by the West into a joke. This is a shame because as much as colonialism and imperialism were detestable things, the West (defined as America and Western Europe) have actually led the world in trying to be a better place in the last 50-years. Things like rule of law, rules-based order and human rights were concepts championed by the West.

As a rule of thumb, Westerners (White People) are decent and see indecency better than dare I say, many Asians. In the last sixteen years of running this blog, I find myself getting more understanding from Westerners than Asians when I talk about things like foreign labour. I think of the Englishman who told me, “Your economy is run on slave labour,” and the French investor who talks about “The Slaves” whenever the topic of foreign labour comes up. In Singapore, the general attitude is “It’s better than where they’ve come from.”

There’s one exception that, comes in the case of Israel and its actions against the Palestinian people. In a way, I get it, when it comes from anyone in my parent’s generation. Israel sold itself like an old Western movie, where the cowboys were always the heroes and the Indians were the bad guys. However, this shouldn’t play out for my generation, where things like “international law” and “rules-based-order” were normal. It becomes painful to watch otherwise decent people start defending the indefensible.

We’ve heard the lines. “Israel has a right to defend itself,” and “Hamas shouldn’t have attacked on October 7 2023.” Whilst these arguments are often used, the one that really strikes is “We don’t know what is going on.”

How does one come up with the idea that we don’t know what is going on when things are being played out on TV? As one Irish guy I met said, “You can’t see those kids dying on TV and not feel anything.”

Yet, despite everything being played out on our TV screens, the line “We don’t know what is going on, “continues amongst those who would want us to believe that Israel is fighting a just war in a just manner. The most popular argument is that the media is biased and lies about everything.

Yet, the truth is that the media isn’t the only thing telling us a story of that’s going on. The United Nations, Human Rights’ Commission has stated that Israel is committing a genocide. This being the same body that condemned Russia for committing crimes against humanity, a concept which many Westerners accept as true:

https://www.ohchr.org/en/press-releases/2025/09/israel-has-committed-genocide-gaza-strip-un-commission-finds

Then there’s the issue of the fact that the International Criminal Court (ICC) has issued a warrant for the arrest of Israel’s Prime Minister Benyamin Netanyahu for war crimes. In case one tries to argue that the ICC is riddled with Anti-Semitism and thus irrationally hates Israel, the fact remains the ICC has found both Hamas commanders and Israeli government officials guilty of crimes against humanity.

https://news.un.org/en/story/2024/11/1157286

 

 

 So, the logical train of thought here is that the ICC has found Hamas commanders to be guilty of criminally starting something and the Israeli government officials to be guilty of waging a war in a criminal fashion. Where exactly is the anti-Israel bias here? Given that America, the world’s preeminent power has sanctioned the ICC as a result of this verdict, the message seems to imply that bias is acceptable as long as its bias in favour of “chosen people.”

Yet, the “we don’t know what’s going on,” debate will ultimately argue that the ICC also doesn’t know what’s going on. So, what can we do?

The answer might be to look at Israel and Israeli organisations themselves. One of them, B’Tselem clearly states that what Israel is doing is called genocide:

 https://www.btselem.org/press_releases/20250728_our_genocide

 

 Hard to call B’Tselem anti-Israeli or “antisemitic,” when it is an Israeli organisation. If that was not enough, Genocide Scholars, including Israeli ones are calling it such to an extent that Israel’s foreign ministry has condemned their findings as based on “Hamas Lies.”

https://www.timesofisrael.com/genocide-scholars-say-idf-committing-genocide-in-gaza-israel-based-on-hamas-lies/

 

So, how is it such that people still argue “We don’t know what’s going on,” when events are well documented by a variety of globally recognised organisations? Perhaps it’s a case of people will believe what they want to believe regardless of facts. As such, one might say that universities should teach courses on how to make people believe what you want them to believe regardless of the facts.

Do We Actually Make a Difference?

 It’s been something of a surreal week. It started on Tuesday when I had the chance to meet Tom Wright, the investigative journalist who co-authored the book “Billion Dollar Whale,” about the 1MDB saga in Malaysia, which eventually lead to the historical defeat of Najib Razak and the BN coalition that had ruled Malaysia since independence.

 

 

 The week then ended when I received a call from the wife of one of my best friends to inform me that he had died. My friend was what you’d call a “decent” bloke in every sense of the word. Unlike me, he avoided the vices of drinking and women. His life was dedicated to ensuring that his mum, his wife and four kids got what they could out of life. Yet, his reward was a pacemaker in his forties and departure from life just as he entered his fifties.

I think of these two events because, during my meeting with Mr. Wright, he asked me and colleague who was with me, “Do we make a difference?” I think of this question because it’s the basic question of why do we do what we do? Is being a good guy worth it? My friend was a good guy who was devoted to his family yet he died at 51. I’ve known less honourable characters (the type who happily screw over their own kids) who are alive, healthy and doing quite nicely thank you very much.

It’s what you call the frustration of being in the investigation business, where you do a task that’s often dull and yet dangerous. While the criminals have “criminal loot,” the investigators (think people like investigative journalist, forensic accountants, public prosecutors and defenders, whistleblowers and so on), barely get a pat of the back when all is said and done.  

Take Mr. Wright as an example. His book, Billion Dollar Whale, exposed the scam at 1MDB and how a sitting Prime Minister was part of an embezzlement of the Malaysian people. That Prime Minister is now in jail and the party that supported him got thrown out of power but has corruption in Malaysia been lessened? The answer is probably a depressing no.

If you want to take things onto the global stage, there’s the example of Watergate. We celebrated the courage of Bob Woodward and Carl Bernstein in bringing down a president. Yet, we continue to have things like Iran Contra under Regan, White Water under Clinton and now there’s Trump who blatantly oversaw the deaths of a multitude of Americans due to his incompetent handling of Covid.  

Like it or not, does appear that despite the efforts of the “good guys,” the bad guys continue and even thrive. It doesn’t help that the side with more money inevitably has the power to change the goal post.

So, why bother being a good guy when the bad guys seem so many steps ahead? Why bother fighting if you know you’ll end up losing right? Funnily enough I do get that allot from Singaporeans who think that things like protest are pointless (I had people who could not see why Burmese protested the Military Coup or things like Black Lives Matter. Many even tell me I should be grateful for Colonialism.).

The answer is inevitably this – rolling over and accepting bad things leads to worse outcomes. If you allow fraud to take place without trying to stop it, you are inevitably condoning it. If you don’t speak up about genocides against certain people, you are effectively condoning genocide. Now, you could argue that it doesn’t affect me – who cares?

However, as history has shown, a guy who cheats other people will one day cheat you. A guy who thinks of murdering one ethnic group is likely to turn around and start on yours. I go back to my Jewish friend’s observations of his family history and how many Jews in Europe through Hitler didn’t mean Jews like them. You hear allot of the same rhetoric in America from Hispanics who talk about ICE dragging people off the streets as “Its not people like us.” Hitler didn’t mean people like them – until he did.

So, why do we do what we do? I like to think that when we catch crooks and protest tyrants, we do our part to ensure that we don’t rot completely. Think of it as, I do my part to ensure it doesn’t happen to me, which is again, idealistic but the message is there. You are just an individual but you have the power to inspire others and a collective becomes very powerful. People who think, I’m just a nobody so why bother set themselves up to be steamrollered by the scum.  

How to Lessen the Pain?

 

The big news in the world of local eat outs is that the home-grown chain, “Twelve Cupcakes” has been placed under liquidation.

https://www.straitstimes.com/business/companies-markets/twelve-cupcakes-ceases-operations-after-being-placed-under-provisional-liquidation

 

 No reason was given as to the cause of the liquidation. The media reports describe it as “sudden and abrupt” and as with all liquidation scenarios, the workers got screwed. Neither workers nor their unions had any idea about the sacking – the workers got the news via a WhatsApp message. It goes without saying that the Ministry of Manpower has had to announce that it is investigating the matter and whether the company was in breach of the Employment Act.

https://www.channelnewsasia.com/singapore/twelve-cupcakes-closure-worker-salaries-mom-cpf-investigating-5438191

 

The former staff have now taken social media to talk about their situation and its frankly heartbreaking to read about how people gave their blood, sweat and tears and then didn’t get paid. Wages unpaid means that people can’t pay bills, which means their financial situation gets screwed up.

 

So, with Singapore undoubtedly going to face harsher economic headwinds and more companies expected to go under, what does it mean for people looking facing possible job loss?

For a start, you got accept that “job-security” is something of a misnomer. However much employers will talk about “looking after you,” you have to accept that allot of the “promise” depends on the employer’s ability to actually pay. Even the most well meaning of bosses cannot pay wages if the business is simply not making money. When I waited tables at the Bistrot, I was clear that the business belonged to the boss who owed me a wage for work but I had a sense of responsibility to ensure that the boss’s business did well enough to be able to pay me. If you notice that the business is not selling stuff, you better start your job hunt.

Secondly, the “rules” between employee and employer change in a liquidation scenario. Whilst its nice to see the Ministry of Manpower (MOM) galvanized into “investigating” for any breaches of the “Employment Act,” there’s actually very little if anything that will happen. The fact of the matter is, the company is in liquidation, which means that there is no money. When it comes to getting money out of the what’s left of the Company, MOM will call up the liquidator for an update on the liquidation and ask if there’s any money to be paid out and if possible, when will the money be paid out. In this scenario, MOM’s powers are more symbolic in as much as the liquidator may feel obliged to work a bit faster knowing there’s a government agency watching.

Having said that, the case of pursuing wages is not all lost. Liquidators are obliged to try and claw back money. The laws on insolvency state that employee’s salary claims are a priority, right after the expenses of the liquidation. So, once the liquidator pays off his or her expenses, they will then turn to settling salary claims. One should take note that this specifically pertains to salary claims. Things like leave pay, notice pay, medical claims and so on come later. If you get say 80 percent of your pay, you’re considered very lucky.

How do you go about making your claim? The answer is in filling out that is called a POD or Proof of Debt. This form is where you outline what you claiming the company owes you. Since the onus is on the debtor to prove their debt, you need to attach things like your pay slips, employment contract and anything else that shows you were an employee and didn’t get paid. The POD for a creditors’ voluntary winding up (case where the company is digging a bigger hole by continuing business) looks something like this:

 

The second aspect of a liquidation is a creditors’ meeting. In the case of a creditors winding up, the provisional liquidator is obliged to get his or her appointment approved by creditors at a creditors meeting. This meeting should take place after a month of being in provisional liquidation and in the post-Covid world, chances are this meeting will take place over Zoom.

The meeting will not give you money. However, its worth attending in as much as it will give you an idea of what happened and you can assess the likilood of getting paid or when you’re likely to get paid. In that respect, the most important document is the Statement of Affairs or SOA, which in the case of a voluntary winding up looks something like this:

 

 The SOA is signed by the director under oath and outlines what is collectable and who is owed what. Both SOA and POD samples can be found at the Ministry of Law’s site at:

https://io.mlaw.gov.sg/files/Forms%20-%20IRD%20(Voluntary%20Winding%20Up)%20Reg%202020.pdf

 

The forms should also be provided to you by the liquidator when they send out the notice of the creditors’ meeting. You should also check the Government Gazette and the Business Times section for notices of creditor meetings and if there’s a dividend to be paid out.

Liquidation for an employee is a distressing experience. However, whilst things may look bleak, its still worth putting in a claim to improve your chances of getting something out of a bleak situation. This is also the time when most employees fall a part (a case of every man for him or herself). However, this is when employees actually need to be most united, sharing knowledge of the liquidation scenario.

 

Who Would You Rather Hire?

 

When I first got my current job back in 2014, I was told that I should hold onto it for dear life. The reason was simple, I was turning 40, and given that it was my first time in an office in a full-time capacity, my first full time job was effectively my last. To put it crudely, ageism is probably the only ism that everyone finds acceptable and rife in Singapore. Anyone over 40 who loses their job can look forward to a career in entrepreneurship selling tissue paper.

I’ve actually experienced these phenomena. Kiddo once told me she found a job add for a restaurant claiming to be “desperate” for people. I wrote in with my date of birth and they politely told me they had enough people before reposting the same ad.

So, I got hired and I’ve spent the best part of my forties gainfully employed. Sure, I hadn’t planned on entering the industry but hey, I was steadily employed with no fear of losing my job when many of contemporaries were actually worried about losing theirs.

Life was ok. Paid my bills after struggling to do so after a decade of freelancing. Sometimes I overspent but there was a cheque end of the month. I could actually do what I loved to do – go out and drink, on a regular enough basis. However, since I was working two jobs for a long while, I didn’t really get into exercise. Walked at the Bistrot and tried to claim I was getting exercise from there. However, I never did any form of real exercise.

Didn’t notice it but I was beginning to balloon. Mum told me I was starting to look “gross” and stepmum told me that Dad was worried I’d get a stroke and wipe out his retirement funds. I nodded politely and continued as I was. Didn’t realise it until I looked at this photo from back then:

 

 A decade later, I’m in a different place. I only work one job but I move significantly more. I’m now 50, worried about being old, sick and broke. Doctors told me that my blood sugars were dangerously high and I’ve been doing what little I have been doing to ensure that I stay out of hospital. The two stays I’ve had were frustrating enough. So, lifestyle changes were easier than the prospect of having to spend what little I have on pills. This is me this morning:

 

 Since, we’re the age of AI, I asked an AI (Grok) to give its feedback on the comparison between the me of 2014 and the me of this morning. According to Grok, changing my lifestyle helped to age a decade younger. Chief amongst those lifestyle changes was cutting the booze (though admittedly I did backslide two weeks back when the conference organisers announced they were serving champagne) and moving more (hit work outs) and taking more protein.

 

 

So, here’s the thing, I am fitter. Back then, I’d feel tiered enough in the day to sleep in the office when the boss wasn’t looking. Even started dozing off in meetings. Whilst I have dozed off in very cozy airconditioned rooms on occasion, I generally don’t. My energy levels are simply higher than they were.

Yet, the reality is this – the puffy 2014 version of me, was more likely to get hired. At 40, I was still employable and yes, I did get employed. The reality is that I am now 50. The first two digest of my NRIC give my age away and employers “desperate” for people will tell me they have an abundance of people. I stay where I am and accept that nobody is going to look at my CV because I am the age that I am.

This is despite the fact that the version of me today has more energy than the me of a decade ago. I have a more focused mindset than I had a decade ago. I am less likely to take sick leave than I was back then. The problem remains this, at 40, I was already “pushing it” in terms of getting employed. I am now 50. My actual energy levels were never the issue. My perceived energy is.