One of the most iconic women of my teenage years is an
American actress called Kelly McGillis. Her most iconic role was Charlie Blackwood,
the flight instructor in Top Gun, who was the love interest of Tom Cruise’s
character, “Maverick.” The image of her golden locks on her fit body is
imprinted on the minds of an entire generation. We all wanted to be Tom Cruise in
that movie because he was the guy who got her (I mean what’s the point in being
handsome unless you get the girl.) Ms. McGillis went on to star in many other
things. Outside of Top Gun, her most iconic role was as “Rachel” the Amish
mother in “Witness,” staring Harison Ford. The big thrill about watching Witness
in England as opposed to Singapore, was that we got to see her breast.
For some reason, nobody thought of producing a sequel
to Top Gun, despite its commercial success. It was only 36-years later, in 2022
when we got the sequel “Top Gun: Maverick.” Many of the old characters returned,
played by the same acters. The most noticeable difference was that Ms. McGillis
never returned to the series and they found a new character to play “Maverick’s”
love interest. Many reasons were given for this. Yet, despite all the reasons
that were coming out, there was one glaring fact that all of us could not help
noticing – Ms. McGillis was now in her 60s, she was no longer the beautiful
blonde of our teenage years:
I bring up this topic of Ms. McGillis’s aging because
it reflects a harsh truth – our perceptions of beauty, particularly female beauty,
are inherently centered around youth (though admittedly women are being more
confident about expressing a desire for younger flesh too). My late Uncle
Richard (Dad’s older brother), would tell me “Make sure your next wife is half
your age – it’s unfair but there’s no such thing as a good-looking woman over
25 whereas men get better with age.” As much as many of us may not like to
think about it – we tend to agree.
I look back to the 2012 sex scandal involving
prominent businessman, Howard Shaw. There were enough of the male species who were
actually sympathetic in a “come on, between a hot young thing and an old one, “kind
of way. Let’s look at the current monarch on the British throne. Part of his
image problem came from the fact that he was “a man who had a beautiful blonde
in his bed and kicked out and replaced her with an old hag.”
As with much of my life, I’ve been a bit of an
outlier. As I was growing up, I officially liked my women a bit older. The hottest
woman in my life for much of my early years in the UK, was my friend, Charlotte,
niece of Aunty Jane, Mum’s best friend. Yes, we were “Just friends,” but her
looks were such that it tested the boundaries of whether men and women could
actually be “just friends.” Charlotte was 14 at the time, whilst I was turning
12. So, my beauty icon for many years was inevitably older. Then came my return
to Singapore where the person I’d end up playing tonsil hockey with, was Pam,
who was 12-years older. I was 19 going on 20 – she was 32. To me, this felt
like a jackpot (helped that she is black and given that I had come back from
the West, where Asian men are not seen as sex symbols but black dudes are, it
was a thrill to be an Asian guy with a black girl).
Pam and I would unite many years later. This time I
was 30 and she was 42. Whilst we still got on, the age difference no longer
held a cache for me. I had previously vowed that it would be nobody older than
my mum and no body younger than my sister (who is five years younger).
However, I ended up meeting Huong, who is seven years
younger (I was 32 and she was 25 when we met). She was by far and away the
sexiest I had met and been with (she remains by far and away the best looking –
even compared to significantly younger women). So, I finally accepted that it
was OK to be with someone younger than my sister.
So, I accepted that it was OK for me to be attracted
to and be with a younger woman. Given that I was in PR at the time, I was surrounded
by young hot things that I liked looking at. To an extent, I find myself being
a little more attractive as I get older.
However, Huong came with Kiddo, who grew from a cute
little seven-year-old, into a nubile 25-year-old. Whilst I never planned on
being a dad to a girl, Kiddo was sort of a strange awakening. It started out when
an older dude we knew started asking her for her phone number when she was 13.
I was visibly upset and when she tried to assure me that he wasn’t a stranger,
I told her that it wasn’t the point and also made the point that I am well
aware that the penalty for ending someone’s life is hanging and I’d proudly go to
the gallows if anyone thought of touching her.
So, I guess you could say that this natural that I’d
take the dad role in her life. She, keeps me in check. She once asked me when
talking about a houseguest, “You really want to f**** her don’t you?” When I
said that the houseguest looked nice, her reply was “Whether she looks nice or
not is none of your business – you’re born 197o something, she’s born 1990
something – old enough to be your daughter, you disgusting old man”
So, here it is – I’m normal dude with the usual set of
functioning hormones. I would be lying if I said that the trouser snake is
totally subservient to the grey matter. I like looking at nubile young things
as much as the next guy. I’m also not the type of guy who thinks morality is
equivalent to the bedroom as long two consenting adults are involved.
However, I took on the role of being a dad to a young
woman and that tends to cloud how I see issues relating to the opposite sex.
Met one of Kiddo’s friends once and I noticed that she had what I like
physically (nice breast etc). Had to stop myself and remind myself that this
was someone old enough to be my kid. Didn’t want the poor girl to think that I
was the old guy into molesting young girls – ik factor.
Then, you look at sex scandals. If you look at the Epstein
case, you’ll notice that the one “powerful” man that’s faced any form of heat
is Prince Andrew, who recently was pushed to relinquish use of his royal
titles. It’s clear from available reports that it’s the Prince and Princess of Wales
who are pushing him out:
https://sg.news.yahoo.com/kate-middleton-not-thrilled-prince-123300778.html
Kiddo has been a consenting adult for a while. My
current girlfriend is 13-years younger. I still enjoy the view of beautiful
bodies that are around the places I hang out. Yet what governs my thinking is
pretty much, would I accept someone doing this with my kid.
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