Tuesday, March 07, 2023

Strange Dreams

 Something unusual happened today. I actually put on proper pants and a new shirt to go to work. Boss told me that we were meeting an important prospect and I needed to dress up. So, instead of the usual jeans and black t-shirt, it was pants, shirt and jacket.

 


I once dreamed of going to work like this all day

Having to “dress up” was a surreal experience. I remember my student days when I actually dreamed about working in a profession that needed me to the suited up. I was quite specific in my ambitions back then. Wanted to be an assistant vice-president at Citibank by the time I reached 30. Wanted to be married to a Chinese General’s daughter (or at least someone who looked like Joan Chen in the Last Emperor) and have a load of kids who would be fluent in Mandarin and Cantonese (I communicate in both very badly and am Chinese illiterate) as well as English.

Well, I achieved part of my goal. I am now well over 30 and its very clear that I’m not about to work in a bank or any high flying corporate job. If anything, I try to down play things. Yes, I had a few glorious moments but these things are well in the past. Sure, I haven’t achieved anything I am particularly proud of since 2014 when I joined office-land. My greatest achievement working in office land has been to avoid doing violence to its residents and burning paper files, which seem to be generated for the sake of it. When I go for client meetings, I make it a point to let people know that the boss is the clever one, whilst I am merely a carrier of boxes.

One might ask why I’ve developed a preference for doing the muscle work and a paranoia of having to do “clerk” work in my late forties. Part of the reason. I guess, is simple. I’ve reached the age where I can accept certain things are not for me and to be at ease with it. My priority is now peace of mind.

Sure, I will probably need to work to the day I die and so I will need a job of sorts. However, I don’t want things that will screw up my wellbeing and to stay active. The doctors have made it clear that after nearly four-decades of too much food, booze and exercise that daily exercise for the rest of my life is no longer negotiable.

So, I volunteer for the task that require me to do lots of walking and staying active because non-exercise thermogenesis (NEAT) is one of the best ways to keep the heart pumping. I avoid being in the office and doing paper work because I don’t need the drama associated with them.

It’s not that I don’t like dressing up. I will, especially when I still get invites to diplomatic functions or attend court as part of my day job. There are certain places that do need to be respected with your personal dressing. Don’t get me wrong, I would love to fly first class or even private jet and stay in presidential suites. However, that’s just a nice experience. The real joy is spending time learning about a new place or simply being with loved ones.

I enjoy the things money can buy but I don’t believe it’s essential to sell your soul to someone else’s ideal. I don’t need to be a uniform to say that I work in a certain job that gives me a certain status just like I proudly lost my degree certificate because I don’t need a piece of paper to tell you I’m educated – that should be clear from what little manners I have.

The future at 50 looks different from 20. At 50, you know that the future comes soon enough and you got to prepare for it. I’m trying to be healthy because I’m going to need to generate an income till the day I die, so I got to be healthy to do that. I’m also going to need clarity and simplicity of expectation. There’s no point killing yourself to impress people who wouldn’t bat an eyelid the moment your coffin hits the crematorium.

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Maira Gall