I’m turning 50 in two days. Mum has got her side of the family down and we’re off to Penang to celebrate me hitting this milestone. Since I will be 50, I thought I would try and say a few things about turning 50.
This is an interesting enough milestone. On one hand,
I’m no longer young but I don’t believe I’m exactly old (a point that Kiddo reminds
me of whenever I try to tell her she should look after her “old dad.”).
While 50 is not exactly “Old” in the normal sense of
the word, your awareness of aging becomes very acute. A lot of what I’ve been
doing, particularly in the area of physical fitness, is governed by the fact
that I am aware that I will be “old” soon enough.
The human body has a way of making you know that its
had enough. At 20, you go out and get smashed and then head to work the next
day. Maybe you can get away with it at 30, but by the time you reach 40, the
body starts letting you know that it would rather you don’t abuse it. Then,
when you reach 50, you become very aware that if you don’t look after the body
and things like late night drinking continue, the likelihood of being weak,
old, sick and broke
Sure, there are plenty of things that you can still do
at 50 (just asked Mike Tyson, he went eight full rounds), but your choices in
your 50s will determine how your 60s, 70s and 80s will turn out.
So, I’m now fitter than I’ve been in a long time. I do
things like exercise in my late forties when I never exercised at all in my 20s
and 30s (lifting pint glasses in not resistance training) because I’m terrified
of being a cripple in my 60s. Any compliments about my physical presences are
nice but not the main motivator.
On the flip side, you also become aware that while you
may have this “value” called “experience,” your working life in corporate or the
civil service is pretty much over. Nobody likes old fogies and as far as
corporate Singapore (or just about anywhere else), being a fogy starts at 45.
So, what do you do when you get older and realise that
your resources are strapped and the chances of waiting for another paycheck
become slimmer with each passing day? Ironically, the answer is – “get
creative.” Sure, nobody wants an old fart hanging around the office cooler.
However, as one of my Karang Gunni men says “You still have your wits about you
and the friendships that you’ve built up through the years.”
I’m lucky in as much as I’m still working. However, I’ve
got to use this chance to network and focus on what my actual value to anything
is. I’ve lived a better part of my working life, excited by the fact that I’ve
never been a “prisoner” of a profession but at the same time, I remain fairly
unfocused on what my innate magic is. Unlike Colonel Harland Sanders, I don’t
have a secret recipe and need to search for one.
So, now that I’m in this limbo of too old for certain
things but too young for others, I need to focus on doing things that I can do.
Old age isn’t far away and getting creative is the only way to do something
about it.
This is to say that I can’t have fun. Now that Kiddo
is officially an adult, I’m slowly but surely being freed of certain responsibilities.
No longer married, so I’m doing certain silly things that I didn’t get to do
when I was.
I’m told that I need to “chill” as I get older.
However, I actually enjoy getting emotionally involved in things, now that the
need to put up a façade is declining. I don’t think that age should stop one from
feeling alive and caring about things.
This milestone that I’m going to cross in two days is
very scary. Everyone around me is growing up or old. I’m getting older and am
not “ready” for it. Yet, at the same time, it feels very liberating. Perhaps
its time to live properly.
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