Monday, August 05, 2024

What do they Have that We Don’t Have?

 

Our Local Girls Need to Lose that False Sense of Racial Superiority When It Comes to Girls from Third World Countries, actually do some self-reflection and Play to their strengths.

Singapore’s most famous “influencer” is at it again. Wendy Cheng, or Xiaxue a she’s better known had to recently issue an apology about some unfortunate remarks she made about and Thai and Vietnamese women. More of her remarks can be found at:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kPF5QQglcCo

 


Ms. Cheng has a history of trying making interesting remarks and this was nothing unusual. However, given that there were calls to “boycott” her, she did the good PR thing and issued an apology.

https://mothership.sg/2024/07/xiaxue-thai-vietnamese-apology/

 


 Well, to be fair to Ms. Cheng, she isn’t the only Singaporean woman who has questioned why Singaporean men have found women from these parts of the world attractive. For some strange reason, our girls are beating the banner “Go for Singapore girls.” It was message sent to be by someone I dated in my past and on Friday night, I actually heard a Singapore girl (well, more woman), tell a French guy I met “Go for Singapore girls.”

So, given that I was married to a Vietnamese girl for 13-years and although after my first marriage, I’ve told myself that I will NEVER end up with a Singapore Chinese graduate, with the notable exception of the most recent ex-wife, and two other notable exceptions, I’ve ended up with, Singapore Chinese graduates and I’ve actually been intensely in love with two (enough to offer to die for them and to promise violence to any rivals for their affections.).

In terms of the age range, I’ve dated girls around my age (49+), though the youngest one is 13-years-younger and I’ve had someone eight-years older. Two of them have been bankers, some have been “entrepreneurs” of sorts. In terms of religion, ex-wife number two is Taoist/Buddhist, I’ve dated three Christians, a Catholic and the rest lean towards Buddhism but are not terribly strict. I’ve dated three single-mums (ex-wife number two and two girls from the Singapore camp).

This is brought up so that you get the idea that I’ve been around enough to give generalized point of view on the subject. As a disclaimer, I will repeat that this is a generalized view and experiences will inevitably differ based on the individuals involved.

Let’s start with the Vietnamese. Yes, let’s acknowledge that many Vietnamese and Thai girls do end up in the vice trade. However, as I’ve argued previously, this should never be held against them. It should, however, be an indication of a mindset. Singaporeans, as a rule of thumb, are like privileged people from around the world. They forget that studying for exams isn’t the most difficult thing in the world especially when your next meal is assured and shelter is guaranteed. Yes, a lot of girls are trafficked but a lot of them also do the job willingly and if you’re talking about the second group, you have to understand that it takes something “special” to leave your country and get banged every night so that the village gets fed.

 


 Ex Number Two when were still together

Let’s start with “Street Smarts” and “human relationship management”. Whatever the girls from places like “Vietnam” may lack in formal education, they more than make up for it in street smarts. In my years with Huong, I found that she was a better judge of character than the highly educated people I know. Reason for that is that you learn pretty darn quickly who you can and cannot work with who you can trust when you’re in a foreign country, where you barely speak the language.

By contrast, I’ve known too many Singaporean girls who are highly educated professionals falling for the most obvious scams. An ex-girlfriend actually told me that she thought God was protecting her by her having high levels of credit card debt.

The Vietnamese girl that I was with, was also smart enough to understand that “low” people had the potential to cause trouble and so she treated them well enough. Go to a bar and she was always the VIP. Answer was simple she tipped and treated all the staff well. Never spoke down to people like they owed her a living. During Covid, we rented a spare room a couple of Malaysians working at the Marriot. She saw to it that they had chances to earn a bit of extra money by helping at the shop. Another Vietnamese girl I knew got her then American boyfriend to the Bistrot when I was working and saw to it that he left a tip for the staff and put $50 into my hands.

By contrast, some of the Singapore girls I’ve been with, are downright embarrassing when you bring them out. Just listen to the way they speak to the waiters in the attempt to get a freebie out of the restaurant and you will inevitably want to shoot yourself because these ladies are apparently well educated and “up there,” behaving like barnyard animals on speed.

One of my local lady friends once told me “Assume I am smarter than any Vietnamese girl you know.” I didn’t have the heart to tell someone so highly educated that she was nowhere near smart when it came to my ex and her friends in terms of basic survival skills.

When Huong entered the pageant, she made sure she had every detail down to a tee. This lady by contrast couldn’t find her way to a dressing room when she entered a pageant many months later.

Basic survival skills seem to be lacking among Singaporean. Talk to any Singapore girl about their lack of culinary skills or basic housekeeping skills and they’ll launch into a tirade about how you’re some Asian chauvinist who expects women to be in the kitchen. To be fair to me, I have the same complaint about Singaporean men like a former brother-in-law who couldn’t turn around and put his food wrapper in the dustbin.

Girls from third world countries know that whatever they do, they need to eat well and can’t afford to eat out every night. So, they learn to cook a decent enough meal from a young age. Its also nice to live in a clean house, so they know how to cook and clean.

Then, there’s the topic of appearance. OK, I know this it’s not correct to talk about “looks,” as it’s a topic that touches on the subjective. However, like it or not, this is an important element in a relationship. Having a presentable partner makes one feel good and this is where people like the Vietnamese win hands down. Huong and her gang were always presentable. Dressed appropriately for the occasion.

I’m not a great fashion guy. Parents nag me endlessly about my dressing. However, when I look at the wardrobe choices of the Singapore girls, I shudder. Its like, sorry, if you’re trying to show that you still have it by dressing like that, you’re emphasising how much you don’t have it.

In short, the Vietnamese girls don’t live in a make-believe world. They can live and survive in alien environments. By contrast too many of our working professional graduate middle class Chinese girls are living in an illusionary world where they have something superior because of the school they went to, the job they work in, religion they practice and most worrying in modern Singapore – their ethnicity.

However, this is to say that our girls can’t compete. Our girls have plus points that they need to utilise if they want to get guys. Like I’ve said, of all the girls I’ve been with, the one I respect most is the Vietnamese girl for her sheer determination and her flexibility in thinking, which so many better educated people lack. However, whenever I’ve fallen like head over heels, as in the type of, I’ll gladly cut up all my rivals and bring the girl to my cave, it’s always been with a Singaporean Graduate Chinese.

I guess, it starts with language. Having a language in common goes a long way in communication. When I was with Huong, it was a struggle in that I don’t speak Vietnamese and her English is limited. For the most part, we had to get things done in Mandarin, which neither of us speak exceptionally well (I speak it very badly).

However, with the Singapore girls, it was easier in that we spoke English. Which in turn meant that we could find common topics, which in turn makes it easier to build the relationship. For example, I can talk about classical music with the local Singapore girls in the way that I could never with the Vietnamese girls.

Then there’s systematic compatibility. It took a while to get Huong to understand that “talk” with so and so wasn’t going to work. Papers had to match. This is something I wouldn’t have to deal with when it comes to a Singapore girl.

Yes, educational levels matter in a relationship. Good looks are important to bring a guy in but to keep him there it requires something more. This is where our local girls have a fighting chance. They can be funny and interesting. I think of someone I did see for a bit, who could just come up with the most incredibly funny things at the strangest of moments. Had to tell her to stop being so cute, or I’d kidnap her.

So, as a conclusion, I’d say that our girls should stop asking “what is it that they have that we don’t have.” Its sad, that they’re competing stupidly. Its like you get this 45-year-old trying to be a 20-year-old by dressing like one and competing against an actual 20-year-old and then gets upset when the guy goes for the actual 20-year-old. They’ll bitch and moan about how the other girl had plastic surgery while they’re all natural and could have had this and that whereas the competitor actually gets things in the present.

Our girls essentially need to stop bitching and moaning about what the other girls have and actually present their case and show off what they have. Fight with your strengths and not your weaknesses.

 

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Maira Gall