The Words We Use

PN Balji, my former boss at BANG PR and the founding editor of Singapore’s Today Newspaper, used to advise me to “look at the choice of words.” His advice was based on the simple premise that you could tell a lot about a person’s intention and mentality by the words they used in their communication. He argued that any semi-educated person with a normal vocabulary would be able to express themselves in a reasonable manner unless they chose not to.

This topic always came up when it came to dealing with a client of ours that used to be owned by a monopoly. Their quarterly media and analyst briefings were inevitably about “educating” the media and the analyst community. Balji would consistently tell us – “Educate” means “Me, teacher – you student.” My mother, would add the cynical line of “Me, right – you, wrong.

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I have unfortunately come across more examples of the “choice of words.” Most recently, I tried and failed to explain to a colleague that the use of “Your Country,” was not the best way to talk to her junior, who happened to come from the Sub-continent. Perhaps it’s a sign that I’ve been out for the PR game for a while, but it was virtually impossible for me to get the message across that “Your Country,” was in fact offensive.

English isn’t the only language where people make unfortunate choices in the words they used. About a decade ago, the North African community in Paris blew up and rioted. When asked why, they’re reply was they were tiered of being addressed as “tu” or the informal French for you, a form which you use when addressing your junior.

The best part about observing the “choice of words,” is the fact that many people don’t realise the implications of the words they use. I remember my colleague who used the phrase “Your Country.” Her argument was simple – there is the country you are from and the country I am from. I suppose this is a reasonable argument made by someone who is from the ethnic majority.

However, it’s a different story when your part of the ethnic minority. I remember helping out an old lady when I was living in Petersfield. When she thanked me, she said, “I had lovely holidays in your country.” She meant well and I didn’t notice it but a friend of mine, who is half Nepalese said, “Gosh – that’s racist – how does she know what “Your Country is?”

I didn’t take offense. I may have lived in England for many years but I’m not an Englishman and I can accept that people assume that I am from another country. However, to my friend who is born and bread in England but looks different (he’s part Nepalese), being told about “your country” is offensive. His country is England and why should anyone else think so.

The words we use reveal a lot about us and the way we view our context. When you talk about “educating” people, you automatically assume yourself to be in the position of the teacher. When you talk about “Your Country,” you put yourself in an us versus them. One should always be mindful of the words that one chooses.