On 9 October 2024, Dr Lee Wei Ling, daughter of Singapore’s first Prime Minister, Lee Kuan Yew and sister of our third, Lee Hsien Loong, died. The tributes to Dr. Lee have been pouring in and many are remembering her as what my former boss, Mr. PN Balji called her in an article for Yahoo News – “A dissident in the making.”
https://sg.news.yahoo.com/comment-lee-wei-ling-a-dissident-in-the-065731420.html
However,
the most prominent person that she took on, was none other than her brother,
the then Prime Minister, Mr. Lee Hsien Loong. Dr Lee and her younger brother,
Mr. Lee Hsien Yang accused their brother, the Prime Minister at the time of “abusing
power” and Dr Lee went as far as to call the Prime Minister a “Dishonourable
Son.”
I’ll
leave the larger political commentary to the wiser people. All, I’ll do is to
mention that this family dispute was centred around 38 Oxley Road, which was
Mr. Lee Kuan Yew’s house. Both Dr Lee and Mr. Lee Hsien Yang had argued that
the elder Mr. Lee wanted his house demolished after his passing, which was
contrary to the government’s plans of turning the house into a monument. This
dispute, has been best summed up by the following t-shirt slogan:
This
is especially true in small, dense and rich places like Singapore and Hong
Kong, where every square centimetre of space cost a small fortune. The way to “build
wealth,” particularly in small places, is inevitably to buy a few centimetres
of land and sit on it until prices reach a certain level.
Houses,
are inevitably the centre of a family’s wealth. Now, the term “house” is
replaced by the term “property,” and the standard advise that is dolled out to
any young person starting out is for them to get onto the “property” ladder,
where they will buy a house, stay there for a few years, sell it and buy a
bigger one, and continuing this cycle, until they can sell it for a fortune and
“retire.” Owning a “property” is not just about economics. It’s about romance
too. When a Singaporean man wants to propose, he does not say “Will You Marry
Me?” He says “Let’s get a flat together.” *
I
can’t help it. I work for a liquidator and I’ve grown accustomed to seeing the
problems in every rosy scenario. In this case its pretty easy to spot. Everyone
is focused on having a “house” or a “property,” and the dollar signs that come
with property. Family wealth centres around the house. It’s more often than not,
the main investment.
However,
the sad reality is that blood is not thicker than water when large sums are
involved and a good portion of disputes centre around money, particularly the
stuff that’s stored in the collection of bricks we call a “house.” When a
couple splits, the disputes centre around the house. More worryingly in our “aging”
society, it’s becoming increasingly common to hear stories of how elderly
parents are booted out of the houses they so hard for by the kids they raised.
In
Singapore its perfectly normal to walk into someone’s house and ask “How much
did you pay,” or “How much can you get for selling?” After all, what is a house
except a collection of bricks that you spend a few hours in daily?
I
think of my ex-boss, Pn Balji, who said “I will NEVER sell my home,” when
someone pointed out that his home would worth considerably more than what he
paid for it many moons ago. I remember this conversation because it makes a
clear distinction between a house and a home.
So,
what is a home? I guess you could call it a place where you want to be. It’s a
place where you grow memories and build a life of sorts. If you think about it,
you can stay in just about any house as long as you either own it or the owners
invite you in. After all, a house is a collection of bricks designed as a place
to stay.
A
home is different. It’s a place that is part of your being. You develop certain
memories and relationships with the place. Home is the place where you want to
come to every night. It’s the place that gives you a certain sense of safety. It’s
a place where you get to play a part in creating a sense of belonging.
Yes,
a house is a collection of bricks designed for you to stay in. A home is a
place where you want to go home to. That’s the key difference.
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