Looking Prosperous Isn’t Wealthy

 In one of his greatest efforts to annoy me, the Padwan, who is a good-looking boy (he’s got that type of Asian clean-cut look that excites sad old ladies and gays), once told me that his ambition was to have a pot belly. It was something that really p***ed me off because that whatever he did, he had to keep his youthful good looks for as long as possible.

Today, I noticed a Facebook post of another friend. This lady proceeded to show off all the food that she was served at various conferences she attended and aimed it at people who she accused of gossiping about her being obese.

Why would a handsome young man aim to get pot belly? Why would a woman show all the food she had and aim it at people whom she accused of gossiping about her? The answer is simple, rich, particularly in the Chinese context equals rich. The hall part of a successful Chinese Tycoon is a pot belly. It’s called the “prosperous” look.

 

 To be fair to Asian culture, its not the only culture that equates fat with prosperity. There are tribes in Africa that put their girls aside and feed them milk before marriage for the sole purpose of fattening them up. Gout, a condition that I have, was once known as the “rich man’s” disease. – a term coined in the West.

Well, I am far from rich. Probably going to have to work till the day I die. I am the owner of a pot belly, which I’ve been told used to be larger. The experience of owning a pot belly is vastly overrated.

I have a soft spot for cuddly people. If I think of the ladies in my life who have lasted the longest, it’s the cute and cuddly ones, even if I am into “Sexy” with a capital S. However, while I love hugging my cuddly friends, I don’t really want to be fat.

Fat was my mother describing me as “Gross Looking.” Fat was snoring so much that when you went on holiday and shared a room with your baby bro, he needed ear plugs to sleep properly. Fat was not being able to get off the ground. My father, who loves all appearances of being young, started to feel really bothered when people started asking if I was his brother

I’m technically still obese (BMI of 28-29). However, I’m moving a little bit more these days and spreading my eating windows. I limit my carbohydrate intake (staying off white rice in Asia?) and yes, my tummy is still there and I am very careful about how I place my head during photos cause the folds in my neck are pretty obvious. Nobody is mistaking me as a teenager.

However, as the Neurotic Angel observed “you can jump.” I guess it was a compliment but I thought it was a little strange. It never occurred to me that there would be a reason for me not to be able to jump or move around. However, I guess I’ve reached that age where most people try not to. So, whilst I probably work till the day I die, I should consider it a form of wealth that I can still move around with some ease.  

Does He Know What a Runza Is? – Tim Walz, Governor of Minnesota and Democratic Candidate for Vice-President 2024

 Let’s Never Forget that it’s the Local Things that Touch the Heart

Around 2012, I had the honour of meeting a lady called Anu Samtani, who was the event manager for the Indian Institutes of Technology (“IIT”). Anu, who is Bengali, explained to me that although everyone in India speaks Hindi and English, it was the Bengali language that touched her heart.

I remember this because it’s the best explanation as to how we value certain things based on what we grew up with, even as the world converges and certain things become “standardized” on a global level. In a way, its something that Singaporeans as a whole don’t get (though things have been changing thanks to the migration of Indian and Chinese Nationals), in as much as we’re a small place and there’s really not that much difference between various parts of Singapore to get attached to. It’s fairly easy to be at the “national” level in Singapore, where its Singapore and Singaporeans against the rest of the world. Take the example of the “Malaysia Cup,” when Singapore played against Malaysian states. This was exciting because it was Singapore facing the rest of Malaysia. The “S-League” hasn’t generated excitement because, the feeling of Jurong versus Tampines isn’t the same.

However, once you’re outside Singapore, you’ll find that most nations are actually a combination of many unique regions and when the term “local” is used, it means local to a particular region rather than to the nation at large.

One of the most obvious demonstrations of the value of the “local” is seen in American elections, the latest of which is due on 5 November this year. Since it’s billed as “The US Presidential Elections,” everyone one thinks of it as a “single” election in which the entire nation votes for an office holder. The reality is quite different. It’s not a single election but 50 different elections.

As Rick Wilson, head of the Lincoln Project points out, Republicans have been, on average, more successful at winning offices than the Democrats because they understand this. His argument is that Democrats put up candidates that talk about “national” things. The Republicans by contrast fielded candidates that were relevant to voters on their regional level.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vdiw7IkWRJ4

 

 So, it’s refreshing to see that the Democrats are trying to adopt the same strategy in this current election, as can be seen by this speech given by Vice-Presidential candidate Tim Walz, who is from the state. Note that he uses a lot of “local” terminology and one of the most prominent attacks against his opponents is that they wouldn’t know what a “Runza” is.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vdiw7IkWRJ4

 

https://www.runza.com/menu/original-runza-sandwich

 

 

Now, its probably going to be a challenge in as much as Nebraska has been a “safe,” Republican seat for the longest of times. However, this probably the most effective way in which elections can be won in that the appeal to the voters goes down deeper than its been before:

https://www.270towin.com/states/Nebraska#google_vignette

 

Understanding and appreciating the importance of “local” issues will become more relevant. People will, have to work on a global and local level at the same time. My Indian friends, for example, speak English and Hindi, because they need to, they also hold onto their local languages because its what is relevant to them in their day-to-day context.

Likewise, as an ethnic Chinese, I speak English and I can speak Mandarin. Both are languages for survival. However, if pushed to speak a Chinese dialect, I prefer to speak in dialect. It’s what touches the heart. A Chinese environment inevitably means dialect speaking rather than Mandarin speaking.

https://www.tiktok.com/@tang.li0/video/7393400910396820737?lang=en

 

 Dim sum and the familiarity of speaking the same dialect.

Yes, people around the world will do think logically and look at rationality. However, if you want to reach them at their most emotional level – look to their regional affiliations – the things that are closest to home.

Where Have All the Flowers Gone?

 Can Talented Flowers Bloom in Singapore?

This is going to be a bit of an ironic piece in as much as, I am the son of man who made pretty decent money by being “arty.” My Dad was, for a time one of the most prominent advertising film directors in town and even though he’s not had a great many jobs, just about everyone who knows him, speaks highly of his dedication to his craft. My education at boarding school and university in the UK was a result of the rewards of his talent.

So, given that this is my background, one might say that it’s a bit “rich” of me to ask the question whether “talent” can bloom in Singapore, when my father managed to succeed pretty well on his talents.

However, the answer is that my dad is an “advertising” film director. He managed to make his money through his talents because he applied artistic talent to commercial interest. Advertisers were willing to pay good money to produce TV commercials that were works of art and my father was lucky in that sense.

He and his generation had the good fortune to be born in the right time and to be in the right place in that the commercial interest of advertisers created a demand for artistic endeavors in the production of advertising. I believe that it would probably have been a different story had his artistic talents not been something that commercial interest wanted.

I stress that my dad is the living example that Singapore does produce people who are gifted and have the ability to create. However, unless your ability to create suits either the commercial interest of advertisers or a government agenda, chances are you’re going to starve.

Now, in fairness to Singapore, artist around the world tend to struggle. The joke remains that every waiter in Los Angeles is as aspiring actor or producer. Back when I was in school, we were told that if you wanted to be an actor in the UK, you needed to be part of the actor’s union and most of the members of the union were unemployed. We need to look at the fact that Vincent Van Gogh never sold a painting his lifetime. Shakespear himself, was at best “comfortable.’

So, artistic talent being commercially unappreciated is nothing new or unique to Singapore. However, there are certain aspects of Singapore’s culture which makes it particularly tough to be “talented.”

Talent is inevitably defined as someone who can pass exams and work within a system. As such, we have “talented” bureaucrats and “good workers” for multinationals or companies set up by people from elsewhere. To a certain extent, we’ve been lucky in that a good portion of our prosperity has been generated by multinationals eager to set up shop in a stable place with competent by obedient people.

However, talent and the desire to follow your heart often means not fitting into a mold. People out of the orthodox don’t get recognized or appreciated in any shape or form. I think of an opera singer I recently met, who described her friends telling her that they couldn’t understand why she’d subject anyone to screeching in a foreign language nobody understood:

https://www.tiktok.com/@tang.li0/video/7401478990281723137?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7274292816955999746

 

 Ms. Patricia Teng

As such, people who wish to pursue their dreams an make the most of their talents are forced to leave Singapore and only get any form of appreciation once they make it outside of Singapore. Our one and only gold medalist, Jospeh Schooling and our one and only tech entrepreneur, the late, Sim Wong Hoo come to mind. Both had to be in the US in order to go through the trial and error that made them “world class” in their fields.

Then, there’s policy. One of the worst examples of driving away talent, comes from our policy on National Service. For the record, I do believe in National Service and its ability to be an “equalizer.” However, let’s recognize that our military capabilities won’t be affected with a bit of flexibility. One thinks of the case of Ben Davis, who was offered a contract by Fullham United, a club in the Premier League (“EPL). The Ministry of Defense refused to let the one Singaporean talented enough to get into the EPL any exemptions or deferments (though it had no problem giving Dr. Patrick Tan, son of former President, Dr. Tony Tan a 12-year deferment to study soil in the name of national security). Ben Davis isn’t the only talent driven away by National Service. You have the pianist, Melvin Tan, who plays in concerts around the world except Singapore and the author Kevin Kwan who wrote a world-famous book that got made into a world-famous film shot in Singapore, the home land Mr. Kwan can never return to.

So, what parent in their right mind, wants to risk all of that, even if it’s the one thing that will make their kid special? In an ironic way, Singapore is starting to see the value of having creators and does all sorts of things to bring creators from around the world into Singapore. However, its ironic that at the same time it sets up a system that’s hostile to native born talents trying to make it.

It requires courage to be a “creator” in Singapore. I take the example of a musician I recently met, who was once a banker. Luckily for this particular musician, he found a support network that enabled him to make a living from his music:

 https://www.tiktok.com/@tang.li0/video/7405153177219140881?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7274292816955999746

 

Mr. Remy Fan

It’s this simple, creators, be they in visual arts, writers, musicians and other innovators need space to grow. We need an employment culture that allows us the flexibility to hire “gig” workers for certain simple jobs (thus reducing the need for cheap foreign labour), cheaper spaces for certain people to gather and a culture that encourages people to make mistakes. We need people willing to collapse and get up again to keep creating:

 

 Can you get up?

Let’s never forget that the societies that produce artist also produce scientist and entrepreneurs. These are the very things that keep the economy growing.

“Trans Solutions”

 Ironically, being from a Country with Islamist Issues Could benefit Imane Khelif

If there’s anything that people will remember about the Paris Olympics, it will be the way in which an event meant to bring out the best in humanity through sporting competition, has instead been a celebration of glorified pettiness. One of the most prominent incidences is centred around the Algerian boxer, Imane Khelif, who destroyed her Italian opponent in 46 seconds. Instead of being able to enjoy her win, Ms. Khelif found herself as the favourite target of every transphobe on the planet. This incident has highlighted several problems.

Firstly, there’ the issue of transgender athletes, particularly in women’s sports. It’s generally accepted that its “unfair” to allow “transwomen” to compete against non-transwomen for the simple reason that transwomen have strength advantages, having been born men. So, everyone focuses on how we should keep transwomen out of women’s sports.

The solution is pretty simple. Create a category of sporting competition for “transsexuals.” I’m sure this will irritate religious conservatives around the world. However, its now accepted that “trans sexual” people are in fact people and they should enjoy the same rights as everyone else, including the right to compete in sports. So, what’s so difficult about having a unique category for trans sexual people? They compete against people who have similar physical characteristics just as non-trans people do.

Secondly, there’s the issue of what defines a “trans person.” The accepted definition of a “trans” person is someone who was born one gender and then “transitioned” to another at certain point in his or her life.

Now, if you were to look at her, you can, as one male Tik Tok Commentator noted, has a body he wouldn’t mind having. However, looks can be deceiving and let’s remember, we’re talking about a boxer and not a ballerina. She’s supposed to be robust:

https://www.mirror.co.uk/sport/boxing/imane-khelif-olympics-dad-boxing-33388008

 

Now, there is the issue of the fact that Imane Khelif had failed a “gender” test issued by the International Boxing Association (IBA) prior to the World Boxing Championship in New Delhi in 2023. Everyone calling her a man points to this failed test as evidence that she is actually he. More information can be found at:

https://www.sportingnews.com/au/olympics/news/imane-khelif-gender-eligibility-test-ioc-iba-championship/f36302ed5889c11046e5c704#:~:text=Khelif%20was%20one%20of%20two,Boxing%20Championships%20in%20New%20Delhi.

There are, however, other facts that argue on the side of Imane Khelif. Ironically, that she’s from Algeria, a country isn’t exactly at the forefront of LGBTQ rights. It’s illegal to be “trans” in Algeria and even if you leave aside the legal rights of the LGBTQ community in Algeria, the culture is such that anyone wanting sex assignment surgery would have had to leave in every sense of the word. Given that she’s still talking to her parents and boxing under the Algerian flag, this clearly hasn’t happened.

Her birth certificate has shown that she’s born a girl. She grew up as a girl. She has periods and can give birth. So, what exactly is it about her that makes her “not” a woman?

Why is there so much on her? Is it really about “trans” woman in women’s sports. If it were, why isn’t there so much focus on the Taiwanese boxer Lin Yu Ting who also got disqualified at the same championship in 2023 for the same reasons?

The answer is simple, Ms. Lin didn’t destroy her opponents or specifically a Western European opponent in the same way the Ms. Khelif did. None of her opponents cried and said it was unfair. Ms. Lin didn’t provide the world’s bigots with the image they needed to stir up the emotions of their masses. As was said on Saturday Night Live, Ms. Khelif became the punching bag of the worlds useless. If only they would step into the ring to be hers.    

What do they Have that We Don’t Have?

 

Our Local Girls Need to Lose that False Sense of Racial Superiority When It Comes to Girls from Third World Countries, actually do some self-reflection and Play to their strengths.

Singapore’s most famous “influencer” is at it again. Wendy Cheng, or Xiaxue a she’s better known had to recently issue an apology about some unfortunate remarks she made about and Thai and Vietnamese women. More of her remarks can be found at:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kPF5QQglcCo

 

Ms. Cheng has a history of trying making interesting remarks and this was nothing unusual. However, given that there were calls to “boycott” her, she did the good PR thing and issued an apology.

https://mothership.sg/2024/07/xiaxue-thai-vietnamese-apology/

 

 Well, to be fair to Ms. Cheng, she isn’t the only Singaporean woman who has questioned why Singaporean men have found women from these parts of the world attractive. For some strange reason, our girls are beating the banner “Go for Singapore girls.” It was message sent to be by someone I dated in my past and on Friday night, I actually heard a Singapore girl (well, more woman), tell a French guy I met “Go for Singapore girls.”

So, given that I was married to a Vietnamese girl for 13-years and although after my first marriage, I’ve told myself that I will NEVER end up with a Singapore Chinese graduate, with the notable exception of the most recent ex-wife, and two other notable exceptions, I’ve ended up with, Singapore Chinese graduates and I’ve actually been intensely in love with two (enough to offer to die for them and to promise violence to any rivals for their affections.).

In terms of the age range, I’ve dated girls around my age (49+), though the youngest one is 13-years-younger and I’ve had someone eight-years older. Two of them have been bankers, some have been “entrepreneurs” of sorts. In terms of religion, ex-wife number two is Taoist/Buddhist, I’ve dated three Christians, a Catholic and the rest lean towards Buddhism but are not terribly strict. I’ve dated three single-mums (ex-wife number two and two girls from the Singapore camp).

This is brought up so that you get the idea that I’ve been around enough to give generalized point of view on the subject. As a disclaimer, I will repeat that this is a generalized view and experiences will inevitably differ based on the individuals involved.

Let’s start with the Vietnamese. Yes, let’s acknowledge that many Vietnamese and Thai girls do end up in the vice trade. However, as I’ve argued previously, this should never be held against them. It should, however, be an indication of a mindset. Singaporeans, as a rule of thumb, are like privileged people from around the world. They forget that studying for exams isn’t the most difficult thing in the world especially when your next meal is assured and shelter is guaranteed. Yes, a lot of girls are trafficked but a lot of them also do the job willingly and if you’re talking about the second group, you have to understand that it takes something “special” to leave your country and get banged every night so that the village gets fed.

 

 Ex Number Two when were still together

Let’s start with “Street Smarts” and “human relationship management”. Whatever the girls from places like “Vietnam” may lack in formal education, they more than make up for it in street smarts. In my years with Huong, I found that she was a better judge of character than the highly educated people I know. Reason for that is that you learn pretty darn quickly who you can and cannot work with who you can trust when you’re in a foreign country, where you barely speak the language.

By contrast, I’ve known too many Singaporean girls who are highly educated professionals falling for the most obvious scams. An ex-girlfriend actually told me that she thought God was protecting her by her having high levels of credit card debt.

The Vietnamese girl that I was with, was also smart enough to understand that “low” people had the potential to cause trouble and so she treated them well enough. Go to a bar and she was always the VIP. Answer was simple she tipped and treated all the staff well. Never spoke down to people like they owed her a living. During Covid, we rented a spare room a couple of Malaysians working at the Marriot. She saw to it that they had chances to earn a bit of extra money by helping at the shop. Another Vietnamese girl I knew got her then American boyfriend to the Bistrot when I was working and saw to it that he left a tip for the staff and put $50 into my hands.

By contrast, some of the Singapore girls I’ve been with, are downright embarrassing when you bring them out. Just listen to the way they speak to the waiters in the attempt to get a freebie out of the restaurant and you will inevitably want to shoot yourself because these ladies are apparently well educated and “up there,” behaving like barnyard animals on speed.

One of my local lady friends once told me “Assume I am smarter than any Vietnamese girl you know.” I didn’t have the heart to tell someone so highly educated that she was nowhere near smart when it came to my ex and her friends in terms of basic survival skills.

When Huong entered the pageant, she made sure she had every detail down to a tee. This lady by contrast couldn’t find her way to a dressing room when she entered a pageant many months later.

Basic survival skills seem to be lacking among Singaporean. Talk to any Singapore girl about their lack of culinary skills or basic housekeeping skills and they’ll launch into a tirade about how you’re some Asian chauvinist who expects women to be in the kitchen. To be fair to me, I have the same complaint about Singaporean men like a former brother-in-law who couldn’t turn around and put his food wrapper in the dustbin.

Girls from third world countries know that whatever they do, they need to eat well and can’t afford to eat out every night. So, they learn to cook a decent enough meal from a young age. Its also nice to live in a clean house, so they know how to cook and clean.

Then, there’s the topic of appearance. OK, I know this it’s not correct to talk about “looks,” as it’s a topic that touches on the subjective. However, like it or not, this is an important element in a relationship. Having a presentable partner makes one feel good and this is where people like the Vietnamese win hands down. Huong and her gang were always presentable. Dressed appropriately for the occasion.

I’m not a great fashion guy. Parents nag me endlessly about my dressing. However, when I look at the wardrobe choices of the Singapore girls, I shudder. Its like, sorry, if you’re trying to show that you still have it by dressing like that, you’re emphasising how much you don’t have it.

In short, the Vietnamese girls don’t live in a make-believe world. They can live and survive in alien environments. By contrast too many of our working professional graduate middle class Chinese girls are living in an illusionary world where they have something superior because of the school they went to, the job they work in, religion they practice and most worrying in modern Singapore – their ethnicity.

However, this is to say that our girls can’t compete. Our girls have plus points that they need to utilise if they want to get guys. Like I’ve said, of all the girls I’ve been with, the one I respect most is the Vietnamese girl for her sheer determination and her flexibility in thinking, which so many better educated people lack. However, whenever I’ve fallen like head over heels, as in the type of, I’ll gladly cut up all my rivals and bring the girl to my cave, it’s always been with a Singaporean Graduate Chinese.

I guess, it starts with language. Having a language in common goes a long way in communication. When I was with Huong, it was a struggle in that I don’t speak Vietnamese and her English is limited. For the most part, we had to get things done in Mandarin, which neither of us speak exceptionally well (I speak it very badly).

However, with the Singapore girls, it was easier in that we spoke English. Which in turn meant that we could find common topics, which in turn makes it easier to build the relationship. For example, I can talk about classical music with the local Singapore girls in the way that I could never with the Vietnamese girls.

Then there’s systematic compatibility. It took a while to get Huong to understand that “talk” with so and so wasn’t going to work. Papers had to match. This is something I wouldn’t have to deal with when it comes to a Singapore girl.

Yes, educational levels matter in a relationship. Good looks are important to bring a guy in but to keep him there it requires something more. This is where our local girls have a fighting chance. They can be funny and interesting. I think of someone I did see for a bit, who could just come up with the most incredibly funny things at the strangest of moments. Had to tell her to stop being so cute, or I’d kidnap her.

So, as a conclusion, I’d say that our girls should stop asking “what is it that they have that we don’t have.” Its sad, that they’re competing stupidly. Its like you get this 45-year-old trying to be a 20-year-old by dressing like one and competing against an actual 20-year-old and then gets upset when the guy goes for the actual 20-year-old. They’ll bitch and moan about how the other girl had plastic surgery while they’re all natural and could have had this and that whereas the competitor actually gets things in the present.

Our girls essentially need to stop bitching and moaning about what the other girls have and actually present their case and show off what they have. Fight with your strengths and not your weaknesses.

 

Your Version isn’t Everything

 Sometimes, Your Belief’s Can Hold You Back – and God isn’t a Relator.

Thanks to the assassination of Ismail Haniyah, the political leader of Hamas in Tehran, Iran, every talking head around is now talking about the depressing “escalation” of tensions in one of the tensest regions on the planet.

As expected, the Iranians are furious and the Israeli’s a very pleased with themselves for “taking out” a “terrorist.” The Americans have claimed they knew nothing of the assassination plan and the Russians have said that this is not helpful. Tensions are such that nobody really believes that negotiations and peace deals are going to happen and the usual racial, religious and sectarian tensions will continue to plague the region.

Why is that so? This is, after all, a land called “Holy,” and is considered the most sacred part of the globe by three of the world’s major religions.

If you look at the problems, you’ll realise that the problems stem from the fact that this land is considered “Holy” by the Abrahamic faiths. As such, the conflict extends beyond the region, particularly in the largest superpower on the planet and thus the one party that has the power to bring both parties to the table and thus solving the problems.

As such, American policy towards the region tends to be based on a “religious narrative.” As such, Israel is “Always” right and “Iran” and anything associated with “Iran” is always bad. As such, anyone who fights with Iran gets US support and anyone who gets squashed by Israel must be bad. Whatever happens in the region is supposed to fit into the narrative. In short, policy becomes “religious dogma,” and anything that smacks of compromise becomes a heresy. Look at it this way, Yitzak Rabin, the Prime Minister who brought Israel peace was assassinated by a religious nut job. When Ariel Sharon uncharacteristically withdrew from the Gaza strip, Zionist Christians in America cursed him for giving away “God’s Land.”

Luckily for people in the region, there’s been a rise of another power, which seems more capable of getting people to talk to each other. Think of the 2023 “Saudi-Iranian” deal which they brokered.

https://www.aljazeera.com/news/2023/8/21/china-brokered-saudi-iran-deal-driving-wave-of-reconciliation-says-wang

 

 More recently, this nation has worked to get the Palestinian factions to unify and create some sort of united front for the Palestinian government:

https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/crgm147lzv1o

 

Why has this group been seemingly more effective at creating peace than the most powerful nation on the planet? America is the “Land of the Brave and Home of the Free.” China remains a brutal communist dictatorship which grades its citizens on “social credit.” Yet, when you look at what America and China have done in the Middle East, you’ll find that the Chinese have been far more effective in creating “peace” and “stability.”

If you look at what China and America want, you’ll notice that for China, its objectives in the region are simpler. It expects commerce to be able to function, regardless of religion or race. Look at the Saudi-Iranian deal. The Chinese were not interested in promoting the Shia or Sunni versions of Islam. What it wants is for two large oil producers to keep the oil flowing.

Likewise, when it comes to Israel and its conflicts with the Palestinians. For the Chinese, its not about how owns various bits of the desert. What it does not like is the tensions that make the region unstable, because instability is bad for business.

This is not to say that China is a benevolent force in the world. When compared to the Western nations, the Chinese are rather cold. Yet, if you look at the efforts of China in the Middle East and to an extent, Africa, the Chinese have actually produced more benevolent results.

What you could argue is that the Chinese are less obsessed with getting people to fit into a religious narrative but on a commercial result. As such, they’re able to get sides to compromise on practical ends that benefit Chinese interest. Its something that we may have to look at when making decisions.