Manners Maketh Man....And Mashine

Perhaps I am a little old fashioned, but one of the most attractive person is their manners. It's not that I'm starting to think like my mother in old age but I've found that one is always more likely to accept a person with decent manners than one who does not. 

When one has manners, one is more inclined to be forgiven when one ers. Everytime I go back to Germany, my mother constantly reminds me about the "Beautiful Manners," of my good friends, Corvin and Vincent Roman. Both the Roman brothers were very concious of the small things in life that make one look as if they were well brought up - things like:

1 - Standing Up and Shaking Hands whenever someone entered a room

2 - Making it a point to say goodbye to my mother whenever she was town and there was a function at my place.

3 - Offering to cover their cost of the meal whenever my mother took us out. 

I did get upto allot of mischief with the Roman boys - including a few drunken nights. However, their manners were such that it's left a positive impression on my mother, nearly 10-years on. 

Say what you like about the British Public School system but it does place allot of emphasis on manners and decorum. Yes, it's elietist when only those who can pay fees get an education. However, the system produces an elite that actually gives the impression of being elite - it is an elite that does not need to go onto the internet to talk about it's "Uncaring ELITE Face," to show that is elite nor does it need to talk about "Fixing" people in public to show it is strong. 

One of the ironies in the UK remains the fact that its most tradition bound institutions are its biggest guardians of democracy and civil liberties. Until Blair tried to "reform" the House of Lords, it was an unelected chamber that protected civil liberties in the UK from a sometimes unweldy elected House of Commons by standing up against torture and protecting due process of the law - ie a bunch of heriditary peers (concept of I'm born better), were at times better at protecting the rights of the people than the elected MPs. 

Well brought-up people are appealing because, strangely they can be human. Uncle Andy who was an army officer, remembers how an instructor he disagreed with came up to him and told him, "As your supperior, I am right, but as a man you are right," and shook his hand by way of appology. Respect is not something my Uncle,( who I know reads this )  my Uncle gives easily but that officer got it from him. That happened to him because he trained in Derra Dunn Military Academy in India - where they still train like how the British did back in the days when the British still had an empire. 

A well mannered elite that can communicate respectfuly with other levels of society is a real elite. You don't need to be told or bribed into aknowledging them as an elite when they behave like how one would expect supperior people to behave. 

Americans by reputation often appear crass to the British Public. Perhaps it's snootiness on my part but one tends to think of Americans as being loud and crass while the their British cousins are always percieved as being gracious. 

To be fair to Americans, they are a kind people. I remember strangers coming to help me find my way when I was lost in San Francisco. You don't get that anywhere else in the world. 

More interestingly, Americans have come up with polite mashines. After six months of not using my Citibank account, I'm fixated by ATMs that sound human - I mean I can't think of any other bank, definately not the local ones, where an ATM tells you that it was a pleasure to serve you.

Once again, Public School upbringing makes me cringe when shop keepers insist on telling you to have a "Nice Day." Come on, do you really mean it or hey, it's an invasion of privacy - what happens if I want to be miserable? Then again, when you leave the States where all shop keepers are trained to greet you nicely and step into shops where shop assistants treat you like an inconvenience, you miss it.

Well, that feeling is now taken to ATMs. Why the heck didn't I move money into my Citi account earlier. I'd deal with ATMs which are more polite and knowledgeable about what its doing than the human staff of other banks. The ATMs at Citi are desgined (supported by Indian IT) to make life for you, the customer convenient - they don't talk to you like you are obliged to bank with them.

Manners obviously makes men. Now, I realise that even mashines with the ability to be polite make the world of difference when you deal with them. 

   

Nice Guys Do Finish First

Green Day created a song called "Nice Guys Finish Last." As with allot of good artiste, they managed to capture the popular movement in a single sentence. In our modern culture of "get every cent you can," nice guys seem to finish last. Give the other guy a break and he'll only piss over your head. So why bother being nice - its much better to be the screwer than the screwed. Who can ever forget Gordon Geko's immortal words - "Greed is good - Greed works." 

I might be inclined to agree. In my personal life, I suspect I could be allot richer if I were allot more ruthless with my time and money. One could accuse me of being a sucker for down and outs - I take my relationship with Zen as an example - Fat Face just needs to look sad and I can't help but to buy her a meal. I suspect that I should probably wake up every morning and ask the Almighty to give me a streak of ruthlessness. Why be nice? Nice Guys Finish Last.

Thank God for economic crisises. If the current credit crunch is doing us a service, it is to show us that there is a place for ideals and morals, particularly when it comes to doing business. Wall Street and the world's bankers who were once worshiped for the gazillion dollar bonus's are now deservedly villified for screwing up the world by encouraging a culture of greed. Seriously, when you're going broke, you're not going to be terribly sympathetic to the likes of Chuck Prince (Fromer Citi CEO) or Stan O'Neal (Former Merril Lynch CEO) when they get the public boot on the rear ends - particularly when you know they'll be landing on a US$100 million pay packet.

Who are the guys who are doing relatively well out of this crisis? Surprise, surprise, it's the nice guys who avoided getting involved with the culture of greed. Bill Gates is now saving the world at his foundation and while his stock and Forbes ranking may fluctuate, Mr Gates is not rushing to claim social security. Another good guy that seems to be doing well is Warren Buffet who remains cash rich enough to pick up bargains. Mr Buffet has donated a large portion of his wealth to someone elses Foundation to ensure good works are carried out but in someone elses name. 

Closer to my own personal experience, is Arun Jain, Chairman and CEO of Polaris Software Labs. Of all the people I've worked with, Mr Jain probably has one of the most amazing stories to tell. I guess I have a soft spot for Polaris in as much as it was my first major job. For the first time, I made more money under my own name than I did for somone else - a case of being a $3,000 contractor instead of a $1,000 subcontractor. That, however, should not distract us from the obvious - Polaris is an interesting company built by an extraordinary person. The results are speaking for themselves - in the past three quarters, the company has declared profit increases of over 80 percent, despite the fact that they're dependent on the financial industry. The company's Ulas Trust has provided some 2,000 schoolarships for students in Tamil Nadu in India and is continuing to do so.

There are good strong business fundimentals for the company's success but I also think there's more to it and I think Mr Jain's character has allot to do with it. 

I think the first thing that should strike one about Mr Jain is the fact that this is the last person you'd expect to be a CEO. I remember going to pick him up at the airport and I was told to look out for "The Most UNCEO like person you can imagine." I guess you could call him the antithesis to the Donald Trump school of business. 

The man has no airs about him and it works from a business perspective. OK, Mr Jain is not a PR dream. Most of us in the industry like the Donald Trump type of businessman - a publicity seeker brings FREE promotion to the company and signs of success lead to actual success  etc etc. However, allot of these guys are not real and it becomes apparent in economic crisis. Mr Jain by contrast represents a differnt school of thought - modesty is practicality. 

The man was booked to stay in the Fullerton (six star). However, he personally cancelled the booking and moved himself to the Park Royal in Little India (plesant definately not the Fullerton). As far as Mr Jain is concerned, there is no need to waste money on the unnecessary and if you look at it, he's right. Flash is very attractive but it can also be a disadvantage - particularly when flash is not suported by substance (of which Mr Jain has plenty of). 

Mr Jain is also very knowledgeable, particularly about his industry. The man knows about software - he was a progammer himself and beyond his business actively seeks to apply IT knowledge (Shinning India) to agriculture (Real India). The man has worked his way up - Polaris was founded with 10,000 INR (approx US$220) 

"Cosmetics" as my ex boss (and Uncle) Jeffrey says, "Count." I can't think of any profession where the top people are unpresentable. However there is a point of over investment when it comes to cosmetics. I think of the advertising industry where one of the most complaints that clients who have walked into a few ad agency's - is that they're paying for the agency's swank rather than the work (what the client doesn't see is the sweat on the agency's end ...but then again, who's paying the bill.) 

So when you look at it in this perspective Mr Jain's modesty is a a powerful business message - clients are paying for the work and not to support flash. Look at it from the client's perspective. What do you really want from your contractors? You want them to show up and do your job and thereby make you look good. Do you really care if they stay in a six star hotel and get chaufered around? 

What's appealing about the man is that he's genuine in his modesty? This is not a nice guy persona he put's on at work or something he's PR advisors enforced upon him. He really is a very nice and very likeable person and as one of my fellow contractors noticed - "Obviously revered by his people." 

Which, once again, leads to the question on what is a leader and what makes organisations successful. I think, to large extent, the most successful leaders are those who are most successful at selling ideals and dreams. When a group of people come together to work for something they believe in, they'll go through extraordinary measures to realise their ideals and dreams. Without ideals and dreams you do not get culture and without culture what do you have? Material rewards only go so far in satisfying needs - if material rewards were all that it took, Singapore would not be suffering from a shortage of lawyers. 

And if a leader is a succesful salesman of a successful set of ideals, what makes a successful sales person? The answer is someone who has genuine conviction in what he or she is selling. David Oglivy insisted on using his client's products because he believed you can advertise a product if you don't believe in it enough to use it in your daily life. Likewise, you cannot sell ideals you don't believe in. Mr Jain does not just believe in his ideals, he lives them. 

A friend of mine argues that he makes it a point to flaunt prvilleges because it motivates his subordinates - "Why be a boss if you have to continue struggling - I want to work hard to be a boss so I don't work so hard." OK, there is a perverse logic in that but then again, one should ask oneself whether they're more likely to work hard for a hard working boss or one that expects them to work hard while he or she remains idle? My former battery commander did it best on a route march - the NSF battery commander gave an order for the men to lift the riffle over their heads and before the men, the regular battery commander did so - thus making it easier for the rest of us to follow suite (which was bloody painful) 

I guess I'm just wierd or as one former radio presenter said "creepy," but I'm always impressed by people who work their way up, lead by example and are modest by their nature. I respect highly successful people in punishing careers who still make it a point to spend time with their kids. I can't for the life of me figure out the attraction people have to people born into "rich families," or for people who describe themselves as "elite." 

You can't help but have awe for Mr Jain because he's such a quiet, modest man who's actions speak loudly. He makes it a point to ensure that his business thrives but he also cares deeply for the widder community his business opperates in. What else can be more worthy of admiration? 

 

 

 

My *** is Huge....too bad I can't get it up

My Uncle Richard, Dad's older brother, was in healthier days a rascale of the highest order and I loved him for it. Nothing could send chills down my father's spine faster than the idea that I might be influenced by his older brother. Uncle Richard, to put not too fine a point on it was the type of guy you kept your kids away from for fear of his influence. Like me, he enjoyed his drink but in bigger quantities. Like me he also liked women - or as he puts it-"Little Girls." I remember him giving me my most valuable lesson - "When it comes to sex, learn to use the tounge and fingers, your dick is only for ejaculation." Even today in his sickly state, Uncle Richard reminds me to make sure that my next wife is "Half My Age," (Every woman over 25 is OLD). 

Uncle Richard is what you could call my first role modle in rougish behaviour. As far as he was concerned, screwing anything was fair game. However, even this most rougish of my family members had some standards and drew the line at certain things. As far as my uncle was concerned, it was unacceptable to cheat your children. Wives and girlfriends as far as he was concerned, could be replaced but kids were another matter. 

So I suppose in a perverse way, I figured that if this most rougish of characters refused to cheat children, I figured there had to be something there. I think the old rouge has a point. Adults, as I am discovering, are pretty awful. Most adults deserve what they get. Children on the other hand are a different matter. No kid ask to be born into the circumstances they are born into. Adults, if they're worth anything, ensure that they're kids get the best chances in life that they can get. 

 I am by no means a saint. The people who know me today cannot help but snigger when someone brings up the fact that I was such a good student of Christian theology that the school chaplin spent seven-years trying to get me confirmed and that as a small kid, I had one of Tibetan Budhist's most senior lamas declaring I was a "Pure Soul." Yet, despite my misdeeds, I was blessed by Thui's presence in two short months in 2006. This made me realise that doing right by a child goes along way to repairing your awfulness. It's something I've observed to be true, even in the most rougish of my friends. One of them has produced and raised not one but five gems. Say what you like of the rouges, but when you see the way they've touched the lives of kids, you realise that they've left a wonderful legacy for humanity depsite their misdeeds. 

So, I cannot figure out what makes some men stoop so low that they will cheat the small children in their lives? I think I've done some pretty awful things in my life and I've known people who have behaved pretty appaulingly too. Yet, and yet, all of them have ensured that they were never awful to kids or at least their own. 

I mean child abuse is evil. What else can one say? Then again, I've heard that many child abusers have medical conditions and so, as well as punishing them for their crimes, there is a need to give them treatment and rehabilitation.

But there are other crimes against children that are not child abuse. One that comes to mind are the men who refuse to maintain support for their children during a divorce. What makes them do it? For the life of me, I can't understand it and if anyone can come up with a reasonable explination for such behaviour, I'll listen.

I'm a child of divorced parents and I am divorced myself. So, its easy to for me to understand why "grown-ups" split. Just as its easy to fall in love, it also easy to fall out of love. Husbands are the usual culprits who cheat on their wives and I can understand when the wife does not want a cheating husband around. Then again, I've experienced the other end and know that wives can be intollerable. So, in such situations, divorce is a healthy option.

Yet, children are a different matter. OK, men don't go through childbirth but I've been fortunate to be blessed by two wonderful stepfathers, who have shown that fatherhood is not necessarily biological. A father may not carry a child but he does play an important part in creating the child and when you play a role, a bond of sorts must be developed. I remember Lee, my mother's second husband, when he had first separated from my mother. He need to see me see me, his stepson was as great as it was to see my sister, his flesh and blood. I was a child in his life and we had a bond. It actually hurt him that I didn't turn to him when I had problems with Gina. 

Having encountered a few stories of father's who have cheated their children, I now count myself even more blessed that not only have I been the natural son of a good man, I am also the stepson of two great men. 

One of the most recent ones for me, is a story on how a man walked out on his wife and two kids. The wife is desparately trying to collect arears on his child support and the payments are years old. Apparently this has gone on for seven-odd years where he's petitioned the courts to have his child-support reduced and even waived. The man claims he has no money to provide for his kids but plenty to drag his ex to court several times. I can't believe that he's willing to invest the time and effort to avoid paying basic living expenses for his own kids.

Like I said, if he had issues with his wife and doesn't want to pay her, I can understand - but for the life of me, I can't understand what he has against providing a few pennies for his kids? Sure, if you don't want to put the money in your ex's account - may be offer to pay half the school fees. Surely, you'd imagine he'd want to fight for a role in raising his own kids. 

I've never met the bugger and I don't want to. No matter how rich or well connected he is, a man who's very presence can get his 8-year old son so emotional in a negative way is not worth dealing with. 

Like wise, there are men who go out of their way to make wills to exclude children from previous marriages. Again, it's beyond me why they'd go through all that trouble to screw up their kids - we're not talking about rich men who have discovered they're brought a bunch of wack jobs into the world and feel it's necessary to cut them out and make them stand on their own two feet. These are guys who happily made one family, left it and then created another and now want to ensure their first family is left out in the cold. 

I know another man in Europe who earns over a 100,000 pounds a year. When he left his wife, he found it difficult to give her a hundred nor did he feel it was worth his while to actually buy one of his son's a Christmas present (he actually stopped the kids pocket money). 

When men behave like this, it is akin to admiting impotence. They can't take it out on their wives, so they take it out on their kids. That's not manhood, that's neoCON eunachdome.  

A Date in Haste

One of the things that I've never understood about some communities in Singapore is the association of virtue with virginity. To put it crudely, how can a woman in her mid-twenties be considered virtuous if she hasn't been poked? I also don't understand some men who think that they've hit drawn the ace of spades when the woman they marry is a virgin or at least claims to be one. Seriously, if you're any good in that department you won't need a girl to be a virgin. Not getting poked after 21 is a sign of mental insanity - not virtue ....I should know....

But this is Singapore and we have a very warped sense of what constitutes virtue when it comes to sex and relationships between the sexes. I'm with a German expat who once commented on how warped things are because,"Playboy is banned but Geylang thrives." To be fair to Geylang, Singapore's rate of criminally insane men would sky rocket. I mean, you have a society where you get a few allowances (Boys will be boys) but you can't get to know your perspective brides because you simply don't touch good girls that you want to marry. Say what you like about prostitution but in Singapore its a necessary social outlet for frustrated hormones.

Then again, how frustrated are Singaporeans? My favourite liquidator tells me that Singaporean girls are "Good in Bed," and a few barrow boys might be inclined to agree. However, how do our boys and girls discover each other if they never get out to meet each other. 

This was a phenomenon I discovered when I went "Speed Dating" as favour to a friend of mine. It was, from the perspective of a cultural anthropologist, a very interesting event. As my favourite litigator pointed out to me - "It proves why I need to have lunch with him every month." I stood out like a sore thumb. I was probably the only man not in the IT business or in engineering. I was, I am sure the only semi-employed person there. The girls, for the most part were accountants, engineers and one or two were teachers. 

I suspect I scared off allot of people. Instead of turning on my non-existent charm, most of my time was spent trying to facilitate conversations amongst the group. I suspect it must be a cultural thing but most of the people were shy and Chinese. Put a group of Indians in the room and you have the opposite problem - they can't stop talking. 

Conversations ie pick up lines went something like this:

Boy - Hi, work in a Stat Board.

Girl - I teach in a Junior College.

Irritating Busybody (Me) has to ask "Which Stat Board do you work for?" And "Which Junior College do you teach for?" So are we surprised why nobody decided to chose me as an ideal partner? 

Some of the girls were really cool - they confesed to liking beer - which is probably one of the biggest turn on for a guy - a girl who likes beer and football (she won't scream at you when your mates come home). But then again, this is Singapore - this alcoholic was the only one in the room and I think nobody wanted to get drunk with a guy who's idea of commitment is anything more than two dates with your cloths on. 

The favourite litigator suspected my lack of success was due to hanging around journalist who ask questions - the asking of questions, particularly those designed to get you to admit to silly things is probably not terribly sexy in some circles. Ah, well, I guess I get my kicks in wierd ways. 

 

I know EVERYBODY.......but nobody knows me

A few nights ago, I had nothing better to do and so I started surfing the net and lo and behold I ran into the website of one of the original citizens of Caucasia. Like all good citizens of Caucasia, this one went through great pains to point out that she was an exceedingly well connected person and to prove her point left the url of her linkedin page. The only thing a good friend from the UK could point out to me was ...."She's obviously blonde."

Well, she's blonde and she has a body that one could consider useable if one did not have the funds or the inclination to make a trip to Geylang. However to be fair to her, she's not the only person who talks about her connections. These days, it's not enough to be rich...you have to be connected. In Asia, the ability to drop names is especially important. You cannot escape reading about Japanese Kiratsu and Chinese Guanxi - the essential ingredients in doing business in this part of the world - so, guess what? If you are a citizen of Caucasia, it's essential to tell the world that you have connections as well as money - or in the words of one of the more prominent citizens of Caucasia - "I'm a brand amongst Asia's Billionaires."

Well, connections are important. Who you know in life does count. I got my internship at Citibank because I asked my Dad to talk to one of his golfing buddies. I was told not to be embarrased about it because....everyone else in the company also got their jobs through contacts. Let's put it this way, these days, everyone has a fabulous education and years of valuable working experience on their CV and so the only way the HR recruiters will ever look at your CV is when you have someone who tells them to look at it.

Contacts count and its not just about Chinese Guanxi. The British have an "Old School Tie" system. Contacts are very important, even in America, the land where penniless migrants becmoe gazillionaires on an idea - the last President got his job in part because of his last name and while the press is oggling over the current President's shade, let's not forget that he went to a university that is the brand of brands in the world of higher education.

But like everything else, people who talk too much about their connections are highly suspect. I for one am highly connected. When I am in Singapore, I know Lee Kuan Yew and when I go to Hong Kong, I know Li Ka Shing. If I wanted to goto the USA, I'd definately call on Barak but not before I stop by Redmond Washington to say hello to Bill.

You can't accuse me of telling lies. I really do know Li Ka Shing, Hong Kong's richest man and I really do know Lee Kuan Yew, Singapore's founding Prime Minister. I am dead certain that if I continued at length, I'd have enough fawning followers to fill a decent sized ball room.

The more discerning amongst you, might actually ask the most important question. Do any of these people know me? This question makes sense. Everyone knows Lee Kuan Yew in Singapore and Li Ka Shing in Hong Kong. Who does not know Barak Obama or Bill Gates? On the other hand, how many people are known by any of the above?

This is the age of the internet. It's easy to know the whole world. Thanks to social networking sites like Friendster and Facebook or their grown up counterparts like Linkedin and Xing - knowing people is easy. As of writing this entry, I have 211 friends on Facebook and over 80 people on Tagged. I am, indeed, a man filled with friends. Valentines Day was especially hard work - I had to send out over 100 greetings (no I don't get laid as often as I need...oopps would like to)

There is however, a difference between knowing people and knowing people. It's easy to collect name cards. It's exceptionally easy to get people to join your friends list on a social networking site. All it takes is a click. I'm such an attention junky, I click yes on Tagged's"meet me list (most are hot chicks) and I have this wierd fettish of trying to reconnect with old school friends in the UK. If you looked at my Tagged and Facebook profiles, you'd draw the conclusion that I know allot of peolpe and allot of people know me.

Having a relationship is a different matter entirely. Relationships require an investment of time and honesty. Business relationships are particularly hard work in as much as you have to be able to understand the nature of your relationship. Business, as Hans Hofer, founder of Appa Guides once said, " Is about organising your relationships." If you can organise your relationships effectively, you can do almost anything.

It sounds simlpe enough. Doing it is another matter. For example, most of us assume that business is about taking care of yourself. It's vital that you get paid in business. What most overlook is the fact that its also vital that you take care of the people you have a relationship with, whether you're talking about your customers, suppliers and employees. Nobody will follow a leader who does not take care of them - unless you're an American General working for George Bush II.

What does taking care of relationship involve? I guess, firstly it involves making sure that the other party gets what he or she wants - ie with employees and suppliers they get paid and with customers, they get what they pay for. This, in itself is not an easy task, even when you have the most advanced systems in the world. My father remains exceptionally good at taking care of his customers. They pay him exceptional ammounts of money and even put up with his eccentricities but they do so because he is exceptionally good at what he does - even to the point where he ensures they get more than what they thought they wanted.

My father is an exceptional case in as much as he's working in an indutry that requires artistry. My father is "The Product." For most of us, we are not 'the product' and therefore, we need to work at it a bit more. One good example is my former father-in-law, Yong Koon, the egg seller. How difficult can it be to sell eggs and what makes one egg different from another? Branding? Perhaps there is some R&D involved but by and large most eggs are the same. Can the Middle Man control the quality of the eggs he sells ? Well he can change wholesaler if all the eggs he's bought turns out to be rotten - but by then, it would be too late for him. As for price ....it makes more sense for you to be cut out.

So, how the hell did this uneducated man in a business where he has very little control over the product get around to thriving? He did it by developing a knack for developing a genius for developing relationships and value.

On the superficial level, Yong Koon was never stingy with the Ang Pao's and had a record for attending events. A client's daughter get's married and you show up and present them with a generous Ang Pao. The supplier's wife falls sick - he sent a hamper.

How much can an egg make? Can it justify doing all of this? Well, yes, if you want people to keep buying from you. Yong Koon, the uneducated egg seller knows that people buy from people and people only like to deal with people who care about them. Caring about people means being somewhat honest with them and it means being interested in them even when you have nothing obvious to gain from them.

Everyone wants to know you when you have something for them. For the guys amongst us, my point can be proven by a trip down to Geylang or any other red light district. It's good for the male ego....even if you make Homer Simpson look like George Cloony, you'll have women throwing themselves at you. Then, when you reveal that you're not about to open your wallet...they're attraction to you fades.

Everyone can be a stud in a red light district - but how women will stick around when you're not opening your wallet? It's the case with relationships. How many of us are willing to stick around when the other party is not opening its wallet? Remembering a wedding anniversary or birthday is not going to win you a contract on its own and there is a line between charity and business. But the saying what goes around comes around is true - the guy who's kid's birthday you rememer is more likely to want to help you out when you may need it most. A former CEO you remembered is likely to pull a string or two for you because you remained a friend even though he was no longer a CEO.

It's not easy to do these things. Relationships involve egos and egos don't always act in ways that are sensible. Managing that is an art form but if you can master the art, life becomes easier. Yong Koon, for all his lack of schooling, is a genius at it. He ensures that peolpe win from dealing with him. The man would take out groups to restaurants that bought eggs from him and the chef would come out and greet him personally. These were all 30-year old customers. He got them to do things for them because he did things for them.

How well connected am I really? The honest answer is, I don't know but if people need my help, I try and render it where possible. My rollodex has a few names on it but don't expect me to make miracles with it.

Seriously, the next time someone tells you that they're super well connected and produce a fat list of name cards...check if they're of the opposite sex and bedable...that's about the best you can do with them.

Welcome to Caucasia - A Land that Will Make You Rich - But First Gimme Your Money

Singapore is a small island and it's pretty easy to get familiar with the island. However, there is a part of Singapore that many Singaporeans are unaware of. The economy of this part of Singapore is dependent on Asian money, yet many Asians remain blissfully unaware of the existence of this place. What is this place? 

This place is called Caucasia and it's been around since the days of Raffles and the East India Company. Caucasia is what you could call the first "virtual" country in history. It's citizens live in various parts of Singapore and the rest of Asia. It is, I believe, the only nation bound together by human characteristics rather than a shared culture or a shared experience. 

The citizens of Caucasia inevitably look like your average Caucasian. Many hold dual nationalities - many are US citizens but there are a few Australians and British citizens amongst them. The citizens have worked in a variety of industries and by and large they are fabulous story tellers.

However, all of them have one trait in common. Every citizen of Caucasia is armed with a brilliant business idea that will make you very rich. As long as you sit down with a citizen of this fair land, you will be presented with an opportunity to get rich in a groud breaking idea. One of these citizens is so well versed in the internet that he goes around Singapore proclaimining - "DOT COM is passe, mate - it's all going to be DOT TVEE," (Of which he's going to be the world's dominant player). 

These business opportunities are fantastic sounding. On paper, they have a certain logic to them and you're told that the revenue is about to pour in. The half a million dollar contract is on the verge of being signed or there are three guys about to pass me forty to fifty thousand dollars in revenue when I ask them.

There's only one snag to these brilliant businesses. They have no money and all you need to do is to contribute as little as $5,000 to as much as $500,000. The citizens of Caucasia are not into big businesses that require the millions from venture capitalist. They merely need you or people that you know to pump in a bit of money to help them get things going and they will provide you with their personal guarentee that you'll double your money within six months. What could be more reasonable?

The citizens of Caucasia are wonderful people. Your intelligence and expertise are not required - they'll let you know that what you know or have experienced is outdated in the futuristic world that they're about to offer the world. As one of them often says, "I don't want SMART money, Mate, I'm looking for DUMB money." You just need to give them the money and you can be assured that you'll be rich within no time and they'll look after you.

However, you should never ask a citizen of Caucasia to show you a website or business premise, let alone to look at the books. Never ever question their integrity by thinking that the money you pass onto them is supposed to fund new opperations and not their living expenses and you'll be told, "That's NOT how it works - You just BUY shares." 

Caucasia is a nice place and its citizens are well meaning. Without their desire to make you rich, your money will languish in bank accounts under your name or in investments that you know about. What more could you ask for?

I remember a negative Chinaman in a low or no rent office in China town who had the audacity to suggest that what the citizen of Caucasia was doing was not workable. The citzen was most upset. Citizens are particularly sensetive to being questioned by Asians and non-Whites and when they don't get their way, will resort to attacking the competance of the local, citing how much better things are in whereever the citizen comes from. "Perhaps you're not familiar with it...it can be done in America/Australia/UK," is the usual line of defence. Of course, if you have to audacity to suggest that they can look for someone in whatever country they've suggested, they'll never forgive you for doubting them. The Citizen who was crossed by the negative Chinaman has decided that the Chinaman did not do a good job in saving one of his fellow citizens from bankruptcy and has been unafraid to express his opinions about it to the world. 

Caucasia is a wonderful place of well meaning people who just want to take your money and do things with it that you never dreamt of. They sincerely want you to be rich and believe that your keeping your own money will be bad for your financial health. We the Non Citizens of Caucasia should be greatful that the financial crisis in the West will create a rush of people emigrating to Caucasia - I mean what else would non White Citizens do with their money - Keep it? 

Those who like will like and those who don't won't

I have been accused to being a misfit who has the talent to upset people. I remember my Young Politician in his more concerned moments asking me,"Have you ever analysed your relationship with Bijay [My Nepali Naan Maker] and asked yourself why you hang out with him?" In his words, I was wasting my time with a member of the lower orders who had no ability to do anything for my career.

Well, the answer is no. I have not really analysed my relationships very much. I suppose I've done the very UnSingaporean thing and accepted that I will be friends with the people that I like and I won't be friends with the people who don't like me. Vinod, the only person I know on any of Fobes's list, once told me that the people who like you will like you anyway, and the people who dislike you will dislike you no matter what - so it's best to waste energy on trying to convert people away from their natural inclinations. Given Vinod's status as a gossip fodder for the press in Malaysia and beyond, I'm inclined to agree with the man.

Liking and disliking people is a funny thing. There's no logical explination to why we click with certain people and why we don't click with others. Astrology tries to explain allot - As a Sagitarious Tiger, I'm best off dealing with dogs and horses. Yet, until today, I avoid trying to use Zen for business (born in the Year of the dog), though I admit that I have a soft spot for the fact that she looked like a tofu. I'm supposed to be only a "fair-weather" friend with sheep - but my mother's other children (Tara and Christopher) are deeply loyal to me and my favourite litigator has proven to be a better friend to me in the few short months I've known him than quite a few I've known over the years.

So why do we like certain people and we dislike others? There could be a host of reasons why we like and don't like the people that we do? Money, power and status usually play a part in influencing who we hang around. But in the personal quest for money, power and status, we usually find that the people most willing to give it to us, are the people we like.

It's like one would say the problem with the PR is that you have to be careful about what you say to people about your clients. Being a blogger, this is exceedingly hard because the temptation to write what you want regardless of lible is strong. Having said that, if I look through my client list and the people who have supported me through the ages, I've liked everyone of them as people, even if I have had my disagreements with them. It's easy to talk well of people when you have the affection for them and it comes from the heart. People like former Saudi Ambassador to SIngapore, Dr Amin Kurdi or Ed Ng, CEO of GECF SEA, are people that I'd respect whether they were my clients or not.

Dr Kurdi in particular left an impression on me. When you live in the "western" or at least 'western-influenced' world as Singapore is, you don't often hear good things about Saudi Arabia and Arabs other than oil and the prospects of making a fortune. The Arabs, as is often said, can be sharp in their dealings and dealing with the Arab buraucracy can be very furstrating. Yet, at the same time, the Arabs have a culture where personal integrity counts. When a man gives his word, he sticks by it. I don't know about the experiences others have had but because I dealt with Dr Kurdi, my experiences were such that this was true. I remember one of the embassy staff telling me, "If Kurdi says it will happen, it will." When I worked for the Crown Prince's visit there were no contracts signed, no confirmation emails just his assurance that, "You will be compensated," and I was compensated beyond expectation.

Of course, relationships have to work both ways. Although I've yet to work on another major project with Saudi Arabia, I've understood the importance of keeping in touch, even when there's no money involved. I think the very rich often get tiered and cynical with people because - hey everyone wants to be your best friend. It's easier to deal with people who genuinely are your friends than those who only appear when there's something in it for them.

Another character in my life who comes to mind is Vinod Shekar, CEO of the Petra Group. For the past three years, Vinod has been number 16 on Forbes's list of richest Malaysians. Allot is said about Vinod, not all of it appears to be wrong. Yet, despite what is said in the media about the man, I actually like him for his personality.I don't agree with everything the man does but I believe it says it all when a lowly driver sticks with you for two decades and speaks highly of you.

There's something very likeable about people who despite their success, treat those beneth them with dignity and respect. You may not find them agreeable initially but you learn to respect them and appreciate them for being people of character. Then you get people who are nice to you, and they treat you well but then you see them treat people lower than themselves and you get turned off.

The best time for this with local Singaporeans is when you see them with their maids. I don't know what it is but some highly respectable people are simply incapable of treating their maids like people. It's as if they need to extract every penny of the $320 they give their maid in a monthly salary - the usual refrain being, "It's allot of money where she comes from." Yes, there are maids who do abuse the privilleges they are given, but it says allot more about the employers when they try and extract the pennies.

If you want to see a White Man's character, take him to Orchard Towers and watch how he conducts his business with the hookers. Chances are, you'll be well treated because you're a mate. But when you notice the guy gets a girl, let's her fondle him with no intention of hiring her services, and then refuse to offer to compensate her for her time spent (She wanted it mate), it says allot about the guy. Yes, it's fun to have girls fondle you and if you give them half a chance they'll try and extract every penny from you - but you should not denny people from being able to make a living - even if the living they're making is not to your liking.

Character counts and one of the best ways to see a person's true character is by the way he or she treats those smaller than him or herself. If you see someone fawn over one set of people and talk down to another...you know its time to start vomiting on them.

A Very Curious Obsession with Size

A few days ago, the Straits Times, our national newspaper ran an article on small law firms. In a nutshell, the article implied that being small limited law firms of less than 5-lawyers to doing low paid work and their lack of financial resources made them more prone to being crooks. As a small business owner, I'm sad to  say that this prevailing attitude towards small businesses is not limited to law firms and I'm not the only one to notice this. A friend of mine in the IT industry noted, "The attitude of the Singapore establishment is - KILL THE SME." 

Despite the government's efforts to be nice to SME's (Recent budget introduced a host of measures for SMEs) and the media's efforts to promote certain small busiensses, the culture in Singapore is decidedly business unfriendly. As the recession bites, you're going to hear more and more Singaporeans tell their kids to work for the government or at least a forign multinational because - "There's an IRON RICE Bowl." Ask the average Singaporean what they think of small businesses and you'll get a host of negative responses - "Yech, Chinese Ah Peks in Shorts," is sadly not an uncommon thought from -sadly, Chinese yuppies who's preppy university education was usually paid for by an "Ah Pek" businessman in shorts. 

There's actually nothing wrong with being risk averse. In fact, it's often healthy to avoid certain risk. However, Singapore is a curious place. Instead of admiring people who take a risk and strike out on their own - we positively loath people who strike out on their own and succeed in making a living (Note, I didn't say get rich.) You only have to look at the number of ordinary people writing in to complain about illegal curry puff sellers from Batam to see how much we despise the small firms that are the backbone of any economy. Even my parents, who are very liberal by all counts, are only just accepting the fact that I'm part of the small business community. - My father telling me, "Better get yourself into a big agency - nobody respects free-lancers," (ironic because he's been a very successful small business), and I remember my mother telling me,"Ai Yah, local agencies cannot succeed." 

OK, I'm not going to denny that there are horrible duds and crooks in the small business community. I remember one small business school that I helped to market and Gina happned to lecture in. The hole in the carpark (which has since been torn down) of a school was a cesspit and thanks to "responsible" journalism this school and others like it have had its justified cum-uppance. 

But it's sad that we, a small nation that has succeeded despite its size, should develop such an allergy to very people who embody the very values that made it what it is today. I take my former father-in-law, Yong Koon, the egg seller as an example. Despite not completing secondary school, the man was hard working, curious enough to want to learn new skills when he didn't have to, and filled with good old fashioned comon sense. Sadly, neither my ex-wife and brother-in-law didn't inherit an ounce of the old man's senses. My ex-wife was obsessed with the providing father she's now bugging the heavenly father to make sure Spinelli's provides her with the right cookies. My former brother-in-law is contributing to the Singapore economy by producing weapons that will most likely never see a day of real combat. 

Unfortunately, it's his kids that seem to be acceptable ideal in Singapore. I suspect, we hate small businessmen like my former father-in-law because the old man understands that it was his hard work that created the good life he has and not some bureaucrat in some ministry hole thinking he or she actually knows how the world works (having said that I wouldn't mind if the world was filled with people who could go on S$46,000 cooking courses) 

Everytime I think back to my former in-laws, I'm tempted to blame the Singapore government for screwing up the generations. What the parents lacked in education they more than made up for in comon sense, hard work and people skills. The kids lost all of that despite having gone through the education system, which is something we're proud of. The old foggies actually knew how life functions - the old man had 'upgraded' himself and added skills to his resume (cab and fork lift driver) long before the government got onto the retraining bandwagon. The kids by contrast are stuck in the fact that they have "Iron Rice Bowls." 

But you can't blame the government for everything. Life in the government and multi-nationals is comfortable, even if the work-reward ratio does not always make sense. Stability for some, outweighs the dreams one may have. I suppose, I might be on the same boat had Gina not aborted and thrust fatherhood upon me. 

I shouldn't knock stability here. I'm told women like it and I'm told that if you have stability, you can actually think properly because you are not worried by the need to pay bills. However, I'm thankfully not a woman or a plant. Yes, stability is important but it cannot be the end game for one. Big may be comfortable and safe, but is it secure? Can a big company or government department insultate you from the realities on the ground. 

Ironically, a man regarded by his peers as one of the world's best business leaders of one of the biggest companies in history has been singing a different tune. In his book, "Winning," Jack Welsh, former CEO of General Electric (GE) says that he wanted GE to have the culture of a "Convenience Store." Mr Welsh estbalished his reputation by making life for GE's managers as uncertain as it is for small business owners - every year, the bottom ten percent of GE's managers get the boot. This element of uncertainty has created a situation where GE's managers are very aware of the need to create actual value rather than create projects that use time and financial resources. 

So, what does it tell you about us being a nation obsessed with size and being part of a monoblock, when one of the world's largest companies has made it a point to try and think like a small company? What does it say about the reality on the ground when a presidential candidate with millions of small backers raised more funds than his opponents who had the support of big financial donnors. 

Yes, size counts in fight. I think it was Napoleon who once remarked that "God is on the side of the Big Battalions." However, small does not mean weak or useless. In fact small is exceedingly useful and big can be monolithic when it means more control at the centre. 

Small can become exceedingly large when it needs to be and small when size is no longer a criterion. The American army has spent seven frustrating years in Iraq dealing with rag-tag mallitias who are separate but unite into a larger force when necessary - likewise with the Israeli army in Lebaonon in 2006 and the British army in Northern Ireland. 

So, while we in Singapore fret over not dealing with small sized businesses, shouldn't we as a small business community learn to collaborate and compete at the same time for our benefit?  

Who gives a **** they're not rich......

Just read a commentry on Reuters that describes Afgahnistan as a "Narco-State." It seems that the state that the Western powers first offered to rebuild, the becon of success of George Bush's War on Terror, is now back to it's Pre-Taliban Status - a corrupt "Narco-State," the home to the world's largest producer of opium, the main ingredient of herion which is sold on the streets of major American and European cities. It seems that President Hamid Karazi, the man installed by NATO has played a major part in this situation. 

What exactly has gone wrong? Perhaps it was an obsession with Iraq. After the Western Powers provided the Northern Alliance with the necessary power to topple the Taliban (driving out Osama binladin and the Al-Qaeda Group), the Americans turned their obsession to Iraq. Instead of actually chasing Osama Bin Ladin in a part of the world where he actually happened to be, the neoCONS decided their manhoods could be better shown in fabricating evidence to mislead a nation into war - so Afganistan becaome something of a side show, one where the formerly loathed Taliban could make a come back.

While this certainly a statement of the obvious, the reasons for the resurgance of the drug trade are more deep seated. The neoCONS were awful and Un-American but you can't pin the resurgance of the drug trade in Afgahnistan entirely on them. - I believe that human nature is responsible - simply put - we've been at "War" on the illegal drugs trade for over 30-years and yet no country can claim to be truely successful at eradicating the trade. Even in super strict and well-policed Singapore (We hang for grass), we have drug addicts and if we have drug addicts, we clearly have drug pushers. 

Almost every nation and every legal code on the globe throws the book at using and dealing in illegal drugs. Policemen make their names by chasing down drug dealers and governments that are normally sensetive about the soverignty happily allow American gun ships to destroy their farm land - all in the name of eradicating the drug trade. Politicians become more electable when they declare how tough of the drug trade they will become - offering to build prisons works at the ballot box. Yet, if you look at the statistics on drug use (usually inaccurate because not every drug user admits to using or gets caught), the figures certainly have not gone down. 

Surely, there has to be a political leader, somewhere around here with the guts to realise that this war on drugs has not helped anyone, except the drug dealers and law enforcement agencies when they come to fight for their portion of tax payers money. What can be done here?

Personally, I think the only solution is to aknowledge that people who are using illegal drugs will use them and find ways to use them regardless of the laws we place around them. Surely, in this situation it's best to bring drug use out into the open, where rules against the harmful side effects can be enforced in a realistic manner. Look at alcohol - we know people will drink so we let them - we don't care what they drink as long as they don't become rowdies who make life miserable for the public and kill people when they drive. More importantly, alcohol and tobacoo are good money spinners for governments around the world. So, what is it about drugs like cocaine that make it necessary for us to make them illegal. - You can't claim that it's because its addictive and bad for you - so are cigaretts, alcohol and dare I say it - gambling.

We've tried nearly everything against the drug trade and yet it continues to flourish. So, why don't we just make it all legal and turn it into just another industry rather like alcohol and tobacoo?

I suspect it's because illegal businesses are too lucrative for everyone involved. If it's illegal, it's usually more expensive and more profits get into the pockets of the "Right" people. I guess its important for the economy of Southern Florida to have Cuban and Columbian drug dealers buy holiday homes. Nice South American and Asian groups do nice things for the economy in the West - I mean who else needs all those small arms lying around the place? Where would law enforcement agencies be if we started cutting the funds for enforcing anti-drug laws? - Out of a job and unable to do anything in the market economy.

Afgahnistan was a wonderful place, particularly during the Soviet Occupation. The Freedom Loving Mujahideen (friends of Osama) needed weapons and so they sold opium. They then paid cash for stinger missiles provided by the CIA - nobody realised that they'd turn them on the US of A but then again, in those days, who cared - Osama was our dude. 

When the solution is obvious - you got to ask why nobody is taking it on. Then you follow the trail of money and before you know it, you'll realise that our so called moral leaders are no better than the thugs they claim they are fighting against.  

The Problem with the Myths We Create

The Catholic Church under Pope Benedict XVI has come under fire in recent days for the lifting of the excomunication of Bishop Richard Williamson, a British Bishop who is a known "Holocaust Denier." Bishop Williamson publically argues that 6-million Jews did not die in the Gas Chambers of Auschwitz and the figure Jews killed in the Second World War is closer to 400,000. Jewish Groups throughout the world are upset and the Pope has been accused of damaging Catholic-Jewish Relations so much to the extent that the Chief Rabbi of Israel has decided to cut ties with the Vatican.

What strikes me about this incident is the fact that the current Pope should be particularly sensetive to charges of anti-semetism and the serious implications that such charges bring. In his youth, the Pope had been a member of the Hitler Youth Movement (though an unenthusiastic one - believing that the tenennts of Nazism came into conflict with Catholicism) and as such had  first hand glance of the horrors of Nazism. This is a Pope, whom the Israeli Forign Minister had judged as being "will be especially commited to the uncompromising fight against Anti-Semetism," when he was first elected. So, why is this Pope now welcoming a known 'holocaust dennier,' back into the arms of the Catholic Church?

I can't read the Pope's mind and my 7-years of studying Christian Theology at Public School does not give me the privillege of claiming to be an expert on the workings of the Vatican. However, I like to believe the best in people - this Pope, I believe is making serious attempts at producing dialogues with other religions and sometimes dialogues can be messy and brutish. In September 2006, he caused allot fo controversy in the Muslim world when he quoted Byzantine Emperor Mauel II Paleologus - who accused the Prophet Mohamed of only spreeding evil. The Islamic world got very upset - the Pope was denounced as being "Anti-Islam," and yet this Anti-Islamic Pope prayed in Turkey's Blue Mosque and more importantly played an important role in the creation of the "The Catholic-Muslim Forum," which was held from November 4-6 2008. 

Is the Pope admitedly provocative action of reinstating Bishop Williamson a step in bringing Catholic-Jewish relations of a new level? I don't know - I think only time can tell. However, I hope it is. Hopefully this Pope's actions will allow both Jews and Gentiles to look at their relations in a more rational manner without the emotional bagage of past histories. This Pope is not "Anti-Israel." He has declared that the "destruction of Israel is the destruction of Christianity." So why is he lifting the excomunication of someone who is a known "Holocaust Denier." I suspect that what he hopes to bring the Nazi Holocaust into its proper context -namely to ensure that the Holocaust becomes a historical event that we examine, discuss and learn from rather than what it is - a religious taboo. 

I don't doubt that Jewish people have a reason to be upset when it comes to the Holocaust. Whether you believe 6 million or 2 million or 400,000 died, a crime against humanity was comitted. Hitler, in his book, Mein Kampf openly blames the Jews for Germany's defeat in World War 1 and it was clear that he had every intention of doing harm to the Jewish people who lived in Germany and Eastern Europe. I believe that humanity needs to keep up the fight to ensure that such a crime does not take place again.

Having said all of that, it puzzles me why the Holocaust against the victims of Nazism should be mythologised to an extent that it becomes a criminal offense in many European countries that pride themselves in having "Freedome of Speech" to even question the "Official" version of what happened. David Irvine went to jail for suggesting that the figure of Jews gassed in the chambers of Auschwitz was closer to 2 million rather than the stated 6 - he did not suggest that nobody died in the gas chambers and 2 million is still allot of people (Crime against humanity.) By contrast you never hear of anyone going to jail for suggesting that Mao might have been misjudged (Only killed a mere 50 million Chinese - same as the entire battlefield casualties of World War II) or that Stalin (Killed at least 40 million) was in actualy fact a kindly old uncle best beloved by his people. 

Mythologising the Holocaust to this extent is unhealthy. It makes a mockery of the values that people who faught against the Holocaust claim to stand for. For example, you cannot lecture the Muslim world on how they must understand that the importance of "Freedom of Speech" when they protest over cartoons that insult the Prophet Mohammed, when you would happily jail a man who questioned the exact figure of casualties in the chambers of Auschwitz. 

Secondly, it becomes something of an emotional crutch in the relations between nations. Europeans for example remain unable to have a logical dialogue with Israel because they're constantly reminded of their history against the Jewish people. When any American or European politician suggest they're concerned by Israel's actions in the Gaza strip, they'll be denounced for war crimes against Israel. This is unhealthy - modern Europe is not the Europe of the 1940s and has been a great force for peace and an ally of Israel and yet it remains unable to have an honest dialogue with Israel

Most importantly and ironically, mythologising events detracts from the value they posses. to society. When they become myths that are exempt from scrutiny, suddenly their credibility dissapears. What do you believe more?

Example A

q - How did you know 6 million people died?

a - I was told so

Example B

 q - How did you know 6 million people died?

a -  Because if you read xyz, look at exhibit erc etc etc. 

Everytime you confront an argument, you have two options. You can denounce it or you can accept it and provide evidence for your own argument. The problem with the first one is that denoucements can leave you open to the charges that you're views are based on blind faith rather than fact. On the other hand, if you have a better argument you should revel in it. 

Hopefully, once the the furor over the Pope's lifting of Bishop Williamson's excomunication is lifted, we can sit down and overcome our fear of presenting the case for one of the worst crimes against humanity in human history.....

The Friends that You Make

My Favourite Young Politician is having a few thoughts about enlistment and I'm not sure if I've been helping by telling him that he'll meet "Real" (not well educated) people as opposed to the people approved by the PAP. I'm trying to give him encouragement and all I can tell him is that although the army is full of bureaucratic b***, it is the place where you meet the best friends you will ever meet. Needless to say, he does not believe me and I think he's not alone. My mother once expressed a bit of a dissapointment that I didn't seem to have a feeling for university the way I had for the army.

Perhaps my experiences and views of the army are clouded. Unlike my peers, I don't have "kampong" or "school"  experiences or friends in Singapore. My first real formative experiences in Singapore are in the army and so you might suggest that my views are clouded. Then, I think my batch was unusual in as much as we had to go through the tragedy of Swift Lion where we lost two people who had been part of our larger group. 

Having said all of that, I don't believe I'm wrong to suggests that the friendships you make in the army are probably the best that you will make in your life. With few notable exceptions, the people I met after that were usually fake in comparison and if I were to ask the people in my batch, I think most would agree with me. And if I look at the exceptions in my post military friendships, most of them have served their time in the military - most are from countries with a form of military service. 

I won't colour the military. Like most institutions, its filled with political crap. Unfortunately, Singapore's political leadership is also sensetive to the fact that we're a small nation in a region where military coups are the rule rather than the exception. As such military leaders with relevant experience and respect are subordinated to women and homosexuals who's only qualification is to push paper clips in the Ministry of Defence. 

Having said all of that about the Ministry of Defence, I think the realities on the ground are such that you end up finding out who your real friends are. I haven't done a psychological study on this, but I think it has something to do with the circumstances that you are placed in. This is especially true if you are in one of the arms that requires some form of team work. 

One of life's truisms is that prostiutes or at least the prostitutes mindset is not confined to the brothels of Geylang and similar areas. There's a saying that one should never ask a whore how one's manhood compares with others, particularly if business has just finished - she'll sing your praises even if you're as endowed as an ant. This fact is especially true when one carries the air of having money, power or both. A good proportion of people will find themselves doing their utmost to ingratiate themselves with you if they think you have any of mentioned attributes. A good proportion of those people are actually acomplished in the whore's art of singing your praises and it can go to your head rather easily. Before you know it, you start to believe God reports to you. 

But what happens when you are stripped of everything? How many of the people who once promised you the world actually stick around? The answer is shockingly few but the nice thing is that you discover that these are the people who care for you for being you rather than who you are. 

This is pretty much what happens in the army. To a certain extent, the powers that be try to segregate people into classes - A-level and Polytechnic students in one batch and O-levels and less in another. However, the faggots system is thankfully not fool proof. In my day, which was in the dark ages of the early 1990s, you still managed to get a good cross section of society in a batch.

Even with the White Horse System in place, the army had ability of reducing people to equality. Suddenly, when everyone is equal in the eyes of the institution, you get to see the character of a human being rather than meaningless illusions like education and social status. I think this is especially prevelant in the artillery and combat engineers where the basic functions require a group of men to function as a team rather than as brilliant individuals. Small detachments of grown men become close because ....well they cannot function otherwise if they are not. 

When unit life is relaxed, everyone is friendly and helpful. Then when you go on excercise and the excercise is tough, you'll find your friends pulling together with you despite their obvious fatigue and the dispicable suddenly giving up because they're tiered and unable to do what they need to do. I've had real friends and real leaders insist I report sick when I was on excercise. 

This is something many male Singaporeans should remember as the economic crisis deepens. Business partners and colleagues are buddies when there's plenty to go round - but when the goodies start to dry, you'll find many of the friends becoming less friendly and in fact down right nasty. This being Singapore, we actually saw a nice perversion of this fact of life in the Mini-Bond saga - Upper Middle Class folks who never bothered with the Chinese Educated Aunties and Uncles, suddenly found themselves rallying to them in order to gain public sympathy. 

I remember my army friends best because they knew me for who I was. It was never about who we'd become or who our parents were. We never looked at each other for what we could gain. Two of my clossest friends are from diverse backgrounds - one is the son of a fishmonger and the other the son of a plastics factory owner. We have never looked to each other for "gain," provided each other with needless advice and encouraged each other with the most genuine feelings from the heart. 

I personally hope this aspect of National Service endures. There's a growing effort to create classes in the system. You have "White Horses" and "Schoolar Platoons," which don't actually benefit anyone. Anyone who has seriously served the nation, will realise that REAL White Horses don't want to be exempted from the experiences of their peers but the system tells them they are different because of an accident of birth - hence the fag in MINDEF stunts someone who wants to contribute to society thinking he has achieved what is politically and socialogically desireable.  

My life has had allot of ups and downs. The highs have been pretty darn good but the downs have been all the more bearable because of the friends I've made - namely the people who have stuck by me because they've accepted me for who I am rather than what I am. 

As I've said, Geylang is not the only place where prostitutes hang out. One's environment daily environment is filled with people who relate to you in ways that would make the girls in Geylang blush. To a certain extent, you become a prostitute yourself because, hey, you need money to survive in a dog-eat-dog world. If you have any principles, you find that being a prostitute amongst prostitutes is very tiering and you need friends who see you for what you are and have feelings for you for being you. 

Without such friends, life is poorer. I pray that my young politician will experience life as it is rather than as his dellusions tell him it is, once he has enlisted. From this, he'll find the strength in the friendships of people who like him for who he is rather than what he can do for them. If he fails to find this in the army, our society would have failed him to giving him what's really important in life. 

Got No Money...Don't Worry, Be Happy

Chinese New Year is coming in 48-hours time and so I thought I'd try and get any gloomy thoughts I might have out of my system this evening - a case of purging myself of awful luck and making sure I am somewhat happy for the New Year.

This is going to be a tough year for many around the world. Thanks to the sub-prime crisis in the US of A, banks have run out of money and businesses are jammed by their cash flow or lack of it. People are being slowly eased out of jobs and suddenly the thought of not having money for basic necessities, let alone luxuries has become a reality.

So, I guess that leaves me to blog about one of the few things I'm actually very experienced at being - broke and unemployed. I've been broke and unemployed for the better part of 8-years, that I am ironically, probably better off than my peers - I've always been too broke to hold a mortgage or car loan and so, as the down turn gets worse, I'm spared the worry of "What if...I lose my source of income?" Being a poor businessman, I'm spared having to worry about paying salaries or most importantly, office rent. It's ironic that my failures for the past few years may mean that I enter a bitter period of history free of allot of worries and I could probably start a new industry - consulting on the joys of being broke

I think the key thing about being broke is the fact that its psychologically damaging. Not being able to do things your friends take for granted is bad for the ego. Having your friends "treat you" all the time sends the message to you that you are a useless worm and so when that message is repeated often enough, you actually start to act like a worm, lying around, hoping for someone to throw you a crumb once in a while.

So what can one do to stop feeling like a worm? I've realised that in my perpetual bouts of poverty, I've been fortunate for two things.

1 - I've avoided placing my self worth in things. In our "buy-more" society, you get the idea that you need certain things to be of any worth. A successful man for example is supposed to be drive a Mercedes and live in landed property. As a guy, you can't help but notice that the guy in Daddy's flash car is the guy who gets the most chicks and if you don't have all those things, you are a worm.

I have my father's father and my mother's mother for showing me that status symbols don't actually make you feel better. My grandfather understood that as long as you had the capacity to love, you were no different from anyone else, even if you had less money. My grandmother happily downgraded her material goods according to her lifestyle needs. To her, life was good as long as she had a roof over her head and enough to eat.

This is not to say that material goods are unworthy. Money should be enjoyed and having beautiful things is enjoyable. However, money and possessions should not dictate ones happiness or self-worth. I remember my father saying that when he suffered a reversal of fortunes and had to sell possessions, I suddenly started enjoying what he had.

2 - I've kept busy. To most school kids being able to sleep in all day and play video games for ever may sound like eternity, but like all good things, if carried to an extreme is exceedingly damaged. If you don't have anything to do, you get the idea that nobody wants you and sooner or later the imagination becomes reality. My father, when he was starting out would make it a point to put on his shoes everyday just to make sure he never feel into the trap of thinking he was trapped at home.

What can you do to stay busy? For most people, getting another job becomes a priority, after all one needs money to survive. However, in a tight job market, the period between jobs becomes longer and employers become very picky about who they pick. So what can you do in between the job interviews?

In Singapore, the government has rightly encouraged people to go for retraining and upgrading. Unlike "the dole" this is not about giving people money to do nothing. It is about helping people to help themselves - we help you if you do something.

My main reservation with this, is the fact that "upgrading" only seems to hit the national agenda in down times. Lifelong learning should be a perpetual habit - when people hit the downturn, they're less likely to go for upgrading and employers are less inclined to give employees time-off for training.

Another possible opportunity for people is to pick up free-lance work. Such jobs don't provide job security and as my father once pointed out - "nobody respects free-lancers." Having said that, when permanent jobs are hard to come by, project work fills gaps in the CV and more importantly your skills get used and you get income - even if it is not what you were used to. I started out because as a friend of mine said,"Why spend resources looking to work for someone when you can get the money directly."

Having said all of that, free-lance jobs are not necessarily more available in downturns. When work is not there, it really is not there. So, you get to creative in what you do. I've become a bit more open to the idea of bartering and I suspect I may be doing more of it in the coming year. Cash is a rare commodity and so if you can provide for your basic needs without having to expand cash, why not? I'm not the only one who barters from time to time. I recently met an accounting firm that barters it's IT requirements - Still - Cash is KING and when certain people like landlords and government services do not accept barter as payment.

My former Commanding Officer, Colonel Toh Boh Kwee used to have a mantra, which became something of a joke - "Nobody owes you a living." We laughed at it when he used to repeat it to us - I guess it was because we lived in the good times - all you had to do was to get a degree and there would be tones of high-paying jobs waiting for you. It's different in a recession. You're forced to be creative if you plan to survive and perhaps grow from the experiences that you have. It's a choice of letting inertia destroy you or liberating yourself from old notions.

Breaking Cycles

Well, it had to happen sooner or later in real life, but the Americans have now elected a man who is a darker shade of pink into the highest office into the land. Since America is the world's "Hyper-Power," the occupant is by default - "The World's Most Powerful Man."

Much is being said about the fact that the new president of a predominantly pink/white nation is predominantly darker than the majority of the population. Allot is being said about the new President being able to deliver the nation from its current economic, political  and social malaise, Barak Obama is probably the most popular incoming President in history in as much as his predessor is the most unpopular outgoing one in history, that its scary. 

So much expectation is being placed on Mr Obama to produce a miracle, you actually have to feel sorry. Like allot of human beings, particularly those who have achieved high office, President Obama is bound to dissapoint and we have to hope that those who placed such high expectations will be able to accept the reality of what the man is actually able to achieve. 

Having said all of that, the signs of President Obama and his adminsitration being able to do something good for the nation that has done so much for the world, are encouraging. Unlike the Bush Administration, President Obama has been quick to offer high profile post to former rivals (Hillary Clinton in the State Department) and COMPETENT (people who could be good on the job rather than buddies). 

More importantly, President Obama has offered a new philosophy to dealing with enemies - he's offering to meet and talk to them unconditionally. Unlike the No-Balls Faggot he succeded, President Obama seems assured that the USA does not want to get trapped in a vicious cycle of violence and hatred with people who are actually very good at being violent and hateful.

It takes balls to try something different. This is particularly true when you're talking about terrorism. Nobody wants to be seen as "Appeasing Terrorism," and "Negotiating with Terrorism," leaves you open to being accused of being a wimp. The common refrain when it comes to terrorist is to beat the living crap out of them - people who are seen to beat up terrorist are seen as tough and manly - which explains why Bush and the neoCONS were so keen to show their manhoods with other people's lives when they kept declaring "WE DO NOT NEGOTIATE WITH TERRORIST." 

The problem that the guys who never served in the military  understood is the fact that terrorism is not an ideology. There's no job vacancy called "Terrorist." If you look at terrorist organisations, they're held together by an ideology but using techniques that we call terrorist. This is not a defence of terrorism but an obvious fact. - The IRA claimed to do what they did in the name of kicking out the Brits of Ireland (A cause Americans seemed more than willing to support with money). On the other side you had the UDA comitted to keeping Northern Ireland part of the UK (It took the British government a long time to classify the UDA as what they were-terrorist murderers). Likewise you have Hamas, which claims to be fighting for Palestinians. Even Al-Qaeda has an ideology that it fights for.

No matter what you think of such organisations, you cannot just beat them up and hope they go away. Yes, there are times when it is necessary to shoot people in a military fashion - ie if the nut is about to set off some explosives and the only way to stop him is to shoot - then you do it. However, pure military solutions don't work. 

If anything the recent activities in the Middle East prove, is that extreme violence will only encourage extreme violence. Looks at the recent Gaza conflict. Israel blockades the Gaza strip because it says Hamas won't recognise its right to exist. Hamas fires rockets into Israel because the Israeli blockade is suffocating the people. Israel then shells and bombs the entire Gaza strip to stop the rockets. The cycle of violence and hatred not only continues and grows. The Bush Administration proceeded to drag America into this cycle by endorsing Israel's blockade and blatant shelling of Arab nations as the noble form of terrorism. He inadvertantly also confered rock star like status on Hezbollah's Hassan Nazrullah and Hama's Ismail Haniyah by proving that the West regards Arab suffering as a minnor inconvenience. 

Let's hope the Obama Administration is serious about breaking out of this cycle. Imagine President Obama made Israel and Hamas sit down at the negotiating table. Imagine a US President telling Hamas, "You got accept that Israel is here to stay and you're better of working together than killing each other," but at the same time telling Israel, "They've got a democratic mandate and you got to pull back to your 1967 borders (As the Saudi's suggested in 2002 and 2006). 

Even if that happened it would be hard to be put into practice. Extremist on both sides will have to be dealt with. Anwar Sadat, the first Arab leader to sign a peace treaty with Israel was shot by his own people. Likewise, Yitzahk Rabin, the only Israeli Prime Minister to recognise the Palestinians as human was shot by an Israeli who couldn't accept that Israel had to give up land for peace. But this is still better than what we have today, a situation of never ending violence and hatred. 

James Baker, Secratery of State under Bush I mentioned that it will be necessary for Israel to negotiate with Hamas. There is no way peace between Israel and the Palestinians can be achieved if the party democratically elected by the Palestinians is not recognised as a negotiating partner. Nobody in the USA or Israel will want to be seen to "Negotiate with Terrorist," particularly when the likes of possible Israeli Prime Minister Nethanyahu has a national service record of a transvestite - it would make him appear more unmanly than he actually is. 

But is the current situation better. I'm embarrased to admit it, but Singapore's Lee Kuan Yew publically endorses men with no balls, particularly when he writes for Forbes scolding the unfortunates in Southern Lebanon and the Gaza strip for refusing to be lie down and die in the face of supperior military force invading their homelands. The man celebrates being a eunach - during the US election, he asked Singaporeans - "Ask yourself, is the world safer with a President McCain or a President Obama?"

Thankfully, the rest of the world decided to vote for the young man who had balls to publically suggests that the status quo won't do as opposed to the man with very big balls who decided to cut them off during the election. 

Mr Lee may get turned on by the idea of a world filled with  eunachs - thank goodness the rest of us can ignore him from time to time.